Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

Your mother is still abusing you. You can’t just write in your will someone will clear your house and pay for it and that person has to do it. Don’t worry.

Speak to the solicitors, if your brother will let you know who they are.

They will your siblings things if they are being left the house.

How sad that your mother is and was an abusive monster and your siblings or at least your brother are now complicit. I would cut him off too, keep any and all messages etc with all this vindictive shite just incase although I can’t see how they’d have a leg to stand on. Honestly your mother is digging in the knife in but your brother is twisting it further by relaying this horrible stuff onto you.

My DM and siblings (who I am NC with) try to pull this kind of stunt every now and again.

Your DM is attempting to engage with you (in a negative way). Don’t fall for it and don’t engage. Just look your DB is the face next time he says anything and smile and just give a little laugh. If he continues, a polite ‘oh do fuck off DB’, smile and walk away.

It doesn't matter if the contents are willed to OP. Nobody can be forced to accept a gift. This is complete nonsense.

Of course you aren't liable for them if you don't accept the bequest.

There is no need for a deed of variation. That's not what their purpose is. OP simply says she's not accepting the bequest. It's not her problem what happens to it.

Good advice here and also you are not obliged as PP have said to accept an inheritance. So you can just opt out of all of it.
If DH speaks to to you again on this just say " yeah whatever" and change topic. This is just trying goad you from afar

I'd block the lot of them, you've suffered enough of their shit. This is a wound that will never heal if you don't.

Delete

My father is forever trying to get me to agree to all sorts of things I will be responsible for after his death. I am very careful to never acknowledge these requests in writing. He is just trying to control me in perpetuity and I won’t let him have that power.

I'd get that in writing or a recording. Harassment charges with the police should you need to involve them.

But no, you won't be liable. Not your house, not your things.

No. You can contact the executor and tell them you don’t want the ‘inheritance’ and it would be up to them to get a deed of variance so that your share is given equally to the remaining beneficiaries.

I can’t see how it’s possible to create a scenario where you can compel someone to pay to clear your house after death - otherwise plenty of people would do this to their enemies/ex-spouses! I would continue NC by simply ignoring this crap. They are trying anything to get a response from you. Block and ignore.

I'd be replying if I'm left of the inheritance them I'm also left out of any responsibility.

Yep, agree. If the OP was determined that they go to a specific beneficiary or were shared out between the others inheriting there would need to be a deed of variance, but if she doesn’t actually care who gets them she can apply for a disclaimer. It’s then up to the executor how to proceed.

Which, if you’d read a bit further is exactly what I said because I posted too early and couldn’t edit. A simple disclaimer is all OP needs, but to do this she has to declare she doesn’t care who gets the items. If they add value to the estate a and are to be distributed equally among the other beneficiaries then a deed of variance is necessary.

I know there's no need for one. I merely mentioned it as an alternative because the OP didn't know about it. Also, other people reading the thread might find the information useful.🙂

Any outstanding charges would fall legally to the executor/s of the will, and would either be met by them or - if there is sufficient available - from the estate. If you are not an executor there is no reason or basis for you to be charged anything at all. Your brother sounds like a bit of a knob for passing this on, but I suppose he may believe it and try when the time comes. Ignore him.

The 48 hours is weird and sounds like something designed to try to hurt you. Again, brother = knob for passing on. No-one has to tell you at all but by the sounds of it you’ll be relieved when the time comes. No doubt they’ll find a way to let you know - perhaps via that bill, which you can rip up.

If she is truly NC then how does she know this and how are messages getting through block the lot of them and anyone in the middle. Copy of the letter to everyone parent, brother, sister means everyone knows she is NC and no messages passed through.

Just because she has decreed this doesn't mean you would have to pay for a skip. You aren't asking anything from the will this would need to come from the estate or your sister couldn't privately to get it done. You haven't signed up to this and it's not legally binding. Just as someone couldn't force you to pay it in life, they absolutely have no say in death.

I can see why you went no contact. It sounds like another way to make you feel bad and like its all your fault. I would call their bluff. Don't be afraid to wait until they go the legal route. You can think about it then!

She’s just trying to upset you - carrying on the abuse you suffered. Best thing is not to show upset if you can - this kind of person feeds off that. Just a simple, ok then. Or, that’s interesting and change the subject. Re house clearance- no, there is no liability to you. Even if you were named the executor you can refuse. If it’s raised again I would just say, I won’t be doing that, keep repeating that in a calm tone, and end the conversation it escalates.

Its horrible to know there is someone in the world who enjoys upsetting you. But once you’ve worked that out, there is a certain grim pleasure at watching their reactions when it doesn’t work!

What they really intend to do is go into the house and take all her jewellery and anything else of value before the OP knows about the death. That's what my dad's relatives did when my grandad died.