Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

Block the lot of them and don’t look back.

Your brother is keeping this all going by enabling the abusive messages as your mother’s flying monkey, so he’s part of the problem.

Go no contact with all of them. Block them on phones and email etc. Choose peace. They all sound utterly vile. No you can’t be charged and its just her attempt to twist the knife.

It’s not your stuff, and it’s not your house. So no, nothing to do with you and you can’t be charged for clearing a property that isn’t yours. Also, if you are left nothing, you can as a direct descendant contest the will. She has to leave you something to prevent that from happening, but i wouldn’t mention that-keep it up your sleeve until it’s too late. You will be able to contest for your fair share, ie 1/3 of the value of the house + money

Of course you can't be charged. If you're not named in the will, the estate has nothing to do with you. And even if you were, you can't FORCE someone to help if they don't want to.

OP, I am so sorry that you have such an awful family.

I wouldn’t even bring up the house clearing costs. Just ignore it. And if your DB brings it up, just don’t respond.

As PPs have said, it doesn’t matter what your mother writes in the will or tells your siblings to tell you - they cannot force an obligation on you for a house and contents that you have no ownership of.

The only way you could maybe possibly be told to clear the house and pay for it would be if your mother left you the contents. So you don’t want to bring that to their attention! But, if you are left any of the house contents, you can simply refuse the inheritance, and so again, you would not be responsible for any clearance costs.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Surely the estate would be paying, before your siblings inherited.

i relate hard to this situation. She just can’t accept that she lost any control she had if you a long time ago. I’m sorry because it still stings.

Your M can leave her property to whoever she wishes, so presumably just your two siblings but not yourself sadly. The person or people she appoints to be executors of the will have the responsibility to distribute what she leaves according to the will. So if you are left nothing and are not an executor, there cannot be any obligation on you to do or pay anything. If she has, despite the estrangement, appointed you as executor, you have a choice to turn the job down.

So no obligations to do or pay anything whatsoever, unless she does what my mother did: not only appoint you executor but also leave you in her will, "personal effects" (jewelry, pictures, furniture, clothes, etc) which means you would need to remove them from the house. Even then, if you turned down being an executor, the remaining executor(s) would have the responsibility to make sure you received the goods she left you, any expenses being paid out of her estate. So no worries, there OP. Its all complete b....ks

I would send an email to all of them or a letter or text or whatever you like saying. Copies to everyone and that’s it done with them, if you do this it must be final and no reaching out and Christmas cards etc

To Mrs Nasty Mother

I am writing to formally state that I wish to have no further contact with you. This is a final decision for the sake of my own peace and well-being.
I have fully processed and made peace with the past, and I have moved forward positively with my life. Consequently, I want to make the following points clear:

• No Inheritance/Notification: I do not want, nor do I expect, any inheritance or notification regarding your estate. Furthermore, I do not wish to be notified in the event of your death.

• Estate/House Clearance: As I have no personal possessions at your property and no interest in yours, I will not participate in any house clearance. Any attempt to bill me for such services will be ignored or contested legally.

• No Funerals: I will not be attending any future services or funerals.

• No Contact: Do not contact me again via phone, email, social media, or through third parties. Any further attempts to reach out will be viewed as harassment and reported to the police.

Please respect this final boundary. I consider this matter closed and will not be responding to any further communication.
Ms A Moving On

Don’t respond in any way. She’s looking for a reaction.
when he tells you she’s dead respond ‘noted’. If you’re asked to pay for removal. ‘I disclaim’.
they won’t get anywhere with this. Leave her hanging. She wants the drama. Shes probably reacting to you saying you don’t want to know when she goes to hospital.

No need to do any of this. OP is already NC. This would just involve her in their silly manipulative games. No need whatsoever. OP would be better off ignoring absolutely everything and let them get on with themselves.

OP, I'm sorry you had such an awful, abusive parent and I'm so impressed that you have managed to get yourself fully away from her and her flying monkeys.

Tell them to eff off and don't engage.

That's hilarious!

Just laugh at them if it's mentioned again.

This is so horrible. Why are parents like this?

My dhs family is mental too, ignore them and block the brother.

What an inflated sense of importance your mother has. Presumably there will be a press release too 🤣

And I did end up paying for some clearance as sibling refused to release money from the estate to do so.
but you were the executor @TommorrowsToday ?

LawWorks provide free lego advice clinics
https://www.lawworks.org.uk/legal-advice-individuals/find-legal-advice-clinic-near-you

I have used them a few times for both housing and work, they were great (I used PopLaw). If you feel up to it contact them and talk to them about the situation.

Get the solicitor to draft a letter along these lines

I expect no inheritance. As you have stated multiple times you threw away all of my belongings and childhood photos. No items of mine are in your house.

they can then add legalese but words along the line of as none of my belongings are in the house I am not liable for any costs or requests to clean the house and will not pay any clearance or skip fee or any other costs related to the house.

ideally they would add something about how no reasonable person would make such a request that ultimately has no legal basis regardless. Hopefully your mother and sister will be embarrassed by being called out by a professional and that will be it.

they will send this be recorded delivery. It is really sick how your mum and sister think this is in anyway acceptable.

All involved (other than you OP) sounds deranged. I'd just send back a pic of the letter with lmfao as the caption.

I think you can disclaim anything left to you in a will. Then it goes back into the estate and is split between the other beneficiaries.

Don’t forget your brother is still deep in FOG too.

You could say “I won’t be paying anything. It’s really sad for her that after all these years she’s still engaged in these pathetic mind games. Anyway, I’ve long been free of her and her disgusting violent temper, I recommend it!”

If it wasn't so vile it would be funny. Speak to your brother just to verify if there is anything in the house that could reasonably be regarded as your property. Did you leave an entire set of bedroom furniture there and just forgot about it? Ask for an inventory with a view to reclaiming any items that might genuinely be yours. Sooner rather than later.Then speak to citizens advice or similar for advice.

Presumably when the time comes, not so D sis and bro will order a skip from a company and therefore will be liable to pay for it.

If they claim it is your stuff, can they provide evidence of that?

You now have an email/message laying out their plan to lie and claim it is your stuff.

I fail to see how they can possibly ‘charge’ you for it.

They all sound toxic and this is designed to stress you, nothing else. They won’t be able to do it.

There will need to be an executor to her will. Legally that person has responsibility for the house is the executor in the will. The executor will have to offer things to people they are willed too. If you refuse them, the executor would have to dispose of them. I suppose if you have been named as executor, you could be liable for everything, but if you don't know you have been it's unlikely there would be legal consequences.

Have a loving, happy, safe life away from these people Op.
It's really healing to step away and see them for who they are with their mind games and unkind attempts at control.
You're free, well done!