Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

I would smile, nod, say “of course”

then the second I had my hands on my share of the will, it would be flick the birdie and they wouldn’t see me for dust.

My first instinct was to think of course you're not liable for house clearance expenses - but then, if she leaves the contents of the house to you explicitly in her will, then maybe it's possible that you would be legally responsible for the disposal of said items? If I were you, I'd get some legal advice from a solicitor, just in case!

Tell the flying monkey to inform your mother that no need for the 48 hour delay in telling you, in fact no need to bother informing you at all as you don't give a shit.
Even if you do care, she shouldn't assume anything of you.
Also I doubt they can force you to do anything as you aren't a beneficiary.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this shit OP. Nothing brings the worst out of people than an inheritance and you mother sounds awful. xx

If you inherit nothing you are not liable for anything.
Your mother is bonkers. Just ignore.

My training told me there was a 7 day rule on contents. If it's in the house it's your sister's on inheriting the house.

You're not their domestic, they can get a clearance firm in. Bloody cheek.

Nah. Waste of money.

IF she were informed of this 'Don't want them. They're gifted back to the Estate'.

If she actually wants to hear about the death, a 'noted' will suffice to show acknowledgement of any messages. Can be useful to know, rather than find out by accident at a later point. If not, blocking or changing number will solve the issue.

I'd seriously make sure you have an appointment on the day of the funeral...

make sure its a very trivial appointment, nails, bikini line wax

If you are not inheriting anything you would not be liable to move anything. If your sister gets the house it will be down to your sister to clear.

You are not liable for others belongings. IIf theycare adding anythingvto your life block the lot of them and live your life in peace. They sound like takers, and trying to take advantage of you. If uou are worried a quick trip to citizens advice to put your mind at ease.

I’m NC with toxic family who would behave the same way if I hadn’t blocked them from all forms of communication and live in a different country to them.

I would use the 😂 emoji to acknowledge any communication you get whatever it says and nothing else. No comments which can be taken out of context no 👍 which could be construed as consent. Just something which shows yes you’ve seen it and you don’t give a shiny shit and they are pathetic

Email them and say further to their conversation you want to confirm that don’t have any belongings in the house because you don’t live there but if they believe there are some of your belongings, then they are mistaken. Add that when your mother dies you want absolutely nothing from her estate nor to be told and you want no further contact from your mother or sister and any contact will be construed as harassment. Fucking take your power back. They think they are bothering you. Show them they aren’t.

Op your mother is still trying to mentally abuse. Op you send your db a text keep all of his. Say db my mother died along time ago to me and I do not need or care for you to tell me anything about the abusive woman and you can tell the bitch I’m paying for nothing and don’t want anything either she can fuck off and if you try to charge me I won’t be paying you a penny. And no amount of money can erase my memories of the abuse I suffered I hope you enjoy spending it but keep some back for the removal.

Just a thought to, that the you need to clear the house is coming from your brother as he knows that clearance fees will come from the estate which comes out of his money. If he worried about losing money let him clear it himself.

I don't think they can make you pay. Thd house has nothing to do with you. I think you can decline anything left to you in a will.

The costs of clearance will be taken from the estate, which she’s made clear you’ll have nothing to do with.

my response would be rather scathing.

‘It’s cute you’d think I’d want to be informed of your passing at all, you’re already dead to me so I wouldn’t concern yourself. As far as the cost of clearing your home, that will be a matter for your estate!’

Your mum is a mean, cruel, evil woman. I hope you are okay, OP.

I've heard plenty of stories, similar to yours, where a sibling is singled out.

If I knew my mum had physically/emotionally abused one of my siblings, no way IN HELL would I be accepting money/house from the parent.

But I guess being loyal has a different meaning to many. It's sad.

I think my response would be even terser.

'I've taken legal advice. I'm not paying.'

you can refuse a bequest. Its called a disclaimer. There are information and templates online

She might leave you a pile of rubbish ‘the contents of the loft / basement / shed’ just to be a cnut.

I would be very careful what you say or put in writing to your DB.

She is looking for a reaction - anything will do - saying you don’t care / rage - anything so don’t respond ever.

I would be tempted to block your DB. You could ask him never to contact you again - and tell him that you have taken legal advice and if he does contact you two more times this constitutes stalking and harassment and you will be reporting him to the police - but that’s probably too much of a reaction - so maybe leave him unread and unresponded to until she dies. Then block him?

You have done so well. They are trying to hoover you back into punching distance. Get silently further away.

Don’t fall for any change of direction that she wants a final death bed meeting / call to make up / resolve - because that will be a trap to punish and humiliate you.

..and even in death, she is still trying to antagonise you. It's truly sickening!

What country are you in?
Highly unlikely you would be expected to pay a jot.
In Scotland you cannot receive £0.00 from a parent.
Legal advice definitely.
Say nothing, and on the day after the funeral, off to the gravesite with loud music and dancing shoes on. And a full bladder!

I wouldn't say you've taken legal advice OP - firstly an MN thread is not legal advice, and secondly it just gives them the satisfaction of knowing they've got to you so much you've spent hundreds on a solicitor. They're already trying to extract money from you.

Just don't engage at all.

Charged by who, for ffs? And for what, if they're not providing YOU with any service? Of course they can't. Tell your DB that this isn't how wills work - you can't "bequeath" debts or an obligation to pay for something for someone else - and that it "D"M doesn't know this, you think he has a responsibility to explain it to her.

Tell your brother: “I don’t want anything and I won’t be paying for anything. But do let me know where her grave is so I can dance on it.”

For you OP.

Just to clarify, I meant that the OP cannot be 'banned' from attending a funeral, apologies if that was unclear

No!!! Rinse as much money as you can out of the situation

and then have nothing more to do with anyone involved

Maybe, but they cannot. Any costs arising after your mother's death come out of her estate.