Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

[ByProudDreamer]

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

Just make a big lasagne with salad, and some chocolate brownies with berries and cream for dessert.

Make some homemade vegetables soup.

Tonight if you have time. It tastes better the next day.

Get fancy bread to go with it.

Buy dips such as tsaziki, hummus and something else. Also crisps and simple vegetables to chop for scooping up dips Also a couple of large quiches and some cubes of fresh tuna cooked and add into in a salad. Buy two bags of mixed salad leaves. Dress with dressing. Sprinkle nuts over.
Buy cooked chickpeas add salad dressing and some chopped olives and capers. Also add fresh Cucumber chopped.

Buy posh ice-cream, at least two kinds and a fancy large dessert type cake. Arrange nice cut up fruit on a platter.

Go shopping early and get up early to start cooking.

Where are you? What’s the weather meant to be like?

I think if it’s anything like here (rainy/
dull and a bit cold) I would do something which can be shoved in the oven and then left, like chicken and chorizo stew, chicken and white bean/ leek stew or pork goulash, then baked potatoes done in the oven or rice, nice butter and a good green salad. Possibly also crusty bread. If you can’t be arsed, cook do stuff like this you can reheat or you could do some quiche.

Put it all out in big bowls with plates alongside and people can serve themselves.

To drink, some nice bubbly, cava or dry cider.

A buffet can be tricky so be careful not to have too much that needs the oven at the same time. Jacket potatoes are a good staple to start with, quiche, cheese for the kids etc and a big bowl of salad. Better to have less but nice/quality options than lots of cheap stuff I would say. Put some tulips in a vase on the table. Flowers always look good.

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

For dessert Betty Crocker brownies are your friend for last minute guests. Mash bananas into the mix then put in the oven half way through the main. Some good quality ice cream and everyone is happy.
For cleaning focus on toilet being clean with a fresh towel (amazing how many people don’t) A good quality diffuser in the hallway makes a good first impression. X

I’d probably go out. Without telling her 🤣

I would go to Waitrose, buy nice bread, a pie or quiche , 2-3 types of good cheese, sliced ham grapes, some posh chutney, bag of salad, baby plum tomatoes, cucumber and peppers to slice , nice dips, bits from the salads section like couscous/baby mozzarella balls.

I’d get 2 nice puddings like a lemon tart with raspberries , sticky toffee pud with vanilla ice cream.

Get your guest bathroom spotless, low lighting everywhete else. Take photos of your rooms and see what jumps out at you.

Buffet - artisnal bread, salads, a fresh quiche, berries, small cakes. Make up some sandwiches in small fresh rolls so the kids have something easy to grab.

OR, stick out sausage rolls, pizza, chicken nuggets because she's going to judge anyway - presumably her dh won't ditch your dh because of your catering.

Make a big pot of chunky soup tonight and make or buy a few different types of bread and make a board like this, I did this for Christmas Eve. It requires zero effort though I did make the hummus.

If you or DH has time can you run to the shops and get some pre cooked chickens? (Rotisserie chicken? Cannot remember the name!)
Carve them up to have with salad, potatoes or potato salads, coleslaw etc

We do a big ravioli salad. Like fresh salad, peppers, tomatoes, pine nuts, grated parmesan and raisins that you can just chuck in a bowl. And then some of the fancy fresh pasta parcels you can buy (our favourite is the Rana aubergine one) which is super quick to cook just before serving. For dressing; olive oil, honey, Balsamic vinegar and oregano to taste. And then a couple of the fancy garlic breads you can just chuck in the oven. For the younger child (we have a toddler) we just give the pasta, grated cheese and cut up peppers and tomatoes on a plate. For pud I would get some of the gu individual puddings (like sticky toffee pudding and chocolate souffle) and just let people pick. Good luck!

Crisps and nuts and hope she has a nut allergy. I would pop to Iceland to get their own brand and some cans of beer. Wear slippers and no makeup. You don’t want to impress her as she will criticise whatever.

What @OptiMummsaid.

Agree with the suggestions of making one meal for everyone to eat...but in case there's dietary preferences or allergies I'd go with a grazing style table // buffet...

Cold meats
Charcuterie
Dips
Crackers
Baguette
Butter
Fruit
Hummus
Veggie sticks - peppers, carrots, celery, cucumber, cherry tomatoes
Cheeses
Smoked salmon
Quiche
Pizza for teens?

Just buy it, take it out of packages and pop onto plates or dishes? Napkins, plates in a stack and a glass or jug full of cutlery for everyone to help themselves.

Pudding could be shop bought meringues (piled up on a plate) then strawberries, raspberries and blueberries in dishes, cream in a jug and ice cream out to serve themselves. Buy some tubs of brownies / crispy cakes / those mini rolls etc and pile those up on a plate too.

Have a drinks station of glasses and drinks options so people can help themselves to that too.

And sorry you've got to put up with someone who isn't your cup of tea!

Christ, would all of you giving suggestions really do all the cooking, cleaning and hosting for this woman just because the blokes are friends??

OP, why on earth didn't you tell your husband to either host it himself, or better still to suggest a meal in a restaurant?

I was thinking this too. He is friends with her husband, if you went out then she might take the hint.
Is she jealous or something?

Also this option! 🤣🙌

Go to M&S - buy a couple of lasagnas - decant into a baking dish. Put ready made bistro salad into a salad bowl. Hide the evidence.

If she asks for the recipe - faint.

Enjoy your evening :)

Thinking this too!

This is how I would prepare.

Go to booking. com
Find myself a nice hotel
pack my case
leave my house
Return after departure of judgey guest

Fancy soup and bread with like olives and butter on a wooden plank always looks fancy!

Just put the (ready made) soup in a pot on the stove 🤣

A salad with something fancy like walnuts, goats cheese, peaches, bacon is always a nice extra fancy side.

And quiche! A big family quiche.

hide the boxes

Make whatever you fancy eating.

clean to your own standard

give her the vs behind her back at every given opportunity

This.

Life is too short to spend time with people like this. Why isn’t your husband cooking and cleaning for his good friend?

Why?

Just put some sarnies and pom bears out.

Or let your husband sort it