My child is being assaulted

[ImplodingLoading]

DD 7has been assaulted multiple times by 2 boys in her year. She has been punched, slapped, kicked and pushed over.

Schools advice is for her to "keep away from the boys she knows are known to be volatile" so when they are playing whole year games, for example, the school have suggested she "uses clear language to ensure they are ready for theor turn, so as not to provoke their anger" and "when explained to the girls that their are some boys who are prone to angry outbursts, and the girls should avoid being around them"

AIBU, or is this absolutely ridiculous?!

There is no excuse for violence. Your daughter shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells, she needs help to learn to read signals properly, it’s a terrible situation. I know that the children with AsD who are very forward get a harder time in social interactions.
She needs to stay away. Can you speak to their parents? I’d punish DS if he used violence because he didn’t like someone.
Self defence classes will help.

The school’s response is diabolical. But it’s typical of the looney left which has infiltrated the teaching profession.

As PPs have said - board of governors. This is absolutely a safeguarding failure.

Hi op is the head having words with boys? It sounds like she is blaming your dd which is absolutely disgraceful definitely not acceptable. Op have you gone to the governors do they have any?
I would contact them as the head will just be brushing it under the carpet. They are bullies and there getting away with it and your dd vulnerability should be the priority here not the bullies. The head is basically saying it’s her own fault for provoking them she should be calling in the bullies parents telling them if it happens again they will be expelled there anger issues is the boys problem. Op it’s like saying to any woman./girl oh you got hit by a man oh you probably did something to annoy him. Fuck that boys turn into men that assault there partners because if they’re doing it now as children and not being punished there being taught it’s ok to hit girls/woman. Go yo the governors first, then council safe guarding team then police. Do not let it carry on. The boys should be punished now.

Er, no! Why should she have to change her behaviour to avoid some nasty little thug attacking her? They should be kept away from her and that is the schools responsibility, not the 7 year olds.

I'd be up there raging, that is completely unacceptable.

What’s it got to do with the “looney left”? How have they infiltrated the school system?

My DD was told she had to understand these girls were unhappy. I said she didn't, teachers needed to understand but my DD was not a therapy punching bag.

It is soul destroying. You have my sympathy.

This is why we have a epidemic of malr behavior against women ...it is not addressed.
Their behavior is blamed on us.
Outrageous!!!

Or course this is an outrageous stance from the school. I think I'd be talking to local press, Ofsted and possibly police if they don't very swiftly get their act together.

If boys lash out and assault a girl or other child they need to be educated to stop while they are still children. Otherwise they will be a danger to society when they are fully grown. Giving boys a get out of jail card for SEN is ridiculous.

The problem with those policies is that they only apply to the generally good kids who make a mistake. The habitually violent have different rules.

Just this👆What a message for children, teaching girls to tip toe round males and males that they have no accountability.

I am a Mother to two boys and I'd be livid if my sons behaved like that and more so that their behaviour was excused.

Bloody outrageous. Teach boys to control themselves, not girls to control themselves. It suggests that the girls are at fault for provoking the boys.

Yes, it does make you wonder … probably a bit more to all this.

These are kids though, not adults. They don’t understand all that … someone constantly coming up to them and annoying them, then yes they hit out. Are they actually approaching her to hit her or trying to tell her to go away?

A failure in safeguarding combined with some absolutely gross misogyny. Nice.

They need to be taught that they can't always get their own way and that hitting or kicking or punching is never acceptable, especially not when it's a boy hitting a girl due to strength differences.

They'll end up treating their mothers the same way down the line.

The difficulty is that schools are being expected to meet the needs of children with behavioural difficulties and it is increasingly difficult to exclude children who are essentially not safe. The school’s hands are tied. These children may have ehcp’s which are legally binding documents which demand that they are in the mainstream system and mixing with other children.

Part of the problem is that the definition of autism has broadened significantly since DSM-5 in 2013. There are children with mild autism who clearly benefit from being in mainstream schools and others with more severe forms who do not but if anyone says this they are "bigots". That word is now equivalent to telling people with a different opinion to STFU.

Their mothers, partners, own children- just as long as we make sure those they assault know it’s their fault!

This is beyond outrageous. I too would be furious and escalating it as far as possible. As pps have said, copy in chair of governors and safeguarding lead as well as the head. You have every right to demand that your child is safe from assault/bullying. How dare the head take that stance?!

I would also threaten MP/newspaper/sm coverage if the above didn't achieve anything, although not immediately. A clear message needs to be sent to all children and they are failing every child in that school, especially your dd, with their pathetic "keep out of their way".

And remove the repeatedly violent ones from mainstream schools if they cannot learn not to hit others.

Recommending a 7 year old girl punch a boy the same age or older is not sensible. She will come off much worse.

My reaction is extreme. My DD would be home schooled until another school place was arranged.
Our DS was attacked several times by the same pupil when he was about 12yrs old. This was in a subway near the school.
We contacted the Police who visited the school to speak to the violent pupil.
Teaching staff were happy with the intervention. There were no more attacks.
This was fifteen years ago & I assume the Police would no longer get involved.
Do not allow your DD to be subjected to this treatment. Think of her future mental health. Bad things happen when good people do nothing.

I mean, they do, so…