My child is being assaulted

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DD 7has been assaulted multiple times by 2 boys in her year. She has been punched, slapped, kicked and pushed over.

Schools advice is for her to "keep away from the boys she knows are known to be volatile" so when they are playing whole year games, for example, the school have suggested she "uses clear language to ensure they are ready for theor turn, so as not to provoke their anger" and "when explained to the girls that their are some boys who are prone to angry outbursts, and the girls should avoid being around them"

AIBU, or is this absolutely ridiculous?!

When we were faced with this situation, we had to get DS to stop engaging to really get the school to take it seriously. DS is unusually mature though. He was taking punches for his best mate whilst not hitting back stone point.

The emphasis we made which was doubly hard for the school was to emphasis that DS had a SEN diagnosis himself so the school couldn't weaponise the other child's SEN issue against him.

The other thing we did was to NOT ask for punishment for the other kid but to stress that he was obviously in distress and the school were failing him by not providing adequate suitable suitable and being sympathetic saying "he really needs help and support that he's not getting". This meant we weren't being confrontational and difficult.

Our emphasis was on safeguarding ALL parties and to stop the other child ending win a situation where he was likely to escalate because the issues were being swept under the table.

We mentioned the behaviour of the kid outside school and the lack of boundaries and discipline from parents. We listed the inappropriate comments that were being said in reference to violence and asked where they were coming from in the context of the school's safeguarding and reporting to SS obligations. We stressed we were aware the issue wasn't restricted to our child but a number of children (and that we knew other parents had made similar complaints). We stressed that his behaviour was multiple red flags and concerns that if it didn't improve it would escalate

The mistake the school made was they thought they could play silly buggers with us and that we didn't know how to navigate the system and what legal obligations they had to our son.

Find this and go hard. It's the only thing they understand.

To stress again it helps your to emphasis their legal responsibility to your child can not be overwritten by perceived greater need of another child. They can not favour one child over another. The question is how do they focus on meeting those obligations without your child being lesser.

Your focus is your child. You can not demand favourable treatment. Avoid punishment and think about the importance of help for both parties.

It's amazing how their position quickly shifts.

It's easy to not class it as bullying when you're not the victim, isn't it?

My son was bullied for a year in his first primary school he was blamed for provoking, not be able to take a joke, taking things too much to heart. In the end I took it out of the schools hands, went to a family officer in the local authority safeguarding team to report the school, they then helped fast track a move out to another primary.

make a fuss, raise it with local authority, they’re completely failing your child, you have every right to be fuming about this. There is no excuse for victim blaming.

Those responsible for her safety aren't though

An actual formal meeting would probably be the best way forward: List of attendees, an Agenda, independent secretary to take formal minutes.

Copies of Minutes to be sent to attendees, plus Education Board, OFSTED, plus the childrens' GPs, therapists, anyone else who might be considered necessary.

Misogynists.

Before your meeting, think about the outcome that you want. The school are unlikely to exclude the child, it sounds like a small school so no chance to move to a different class like two form school , what support are the scjool
going to put in to support your child to stay away from these boys if that’s what they are advising, they need to support it.

consider getting EHCP as it’s not just for children that are working below expectations and may be needed in secondary school

Well, you would, you'd say "leave him right now, don't try to be friends with him even, if you see him in the street, cross the road". Which would be exactly the right advice. He's an aggressive man and you are best to avoid.

I feel that the OP's DD is also being given this advice, to stay away especially in less well supervised settings.
If the hypothetical girlfriend had to come into contact with her ex, say at a court hearing, she wouldn't be told she was provoking him, and neither should the DD in this case, but "stay away" is the right advice in both cases.

It's also the advice my DS is given in his specialist school, and he (though also ND) is getting better at following it, like a PP's DS, but he wasn't perfect at first.