AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

[AbFab1231]

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

Find a better team they sound awful!!

Why was there such a huge jump in fees? What were you paying for?

Blimey, hideously expensive and not very inclusive, what an awful club!
I’m sorry they have upset your daughters and let them down so badly.
Has anyone else been dropped in such a way?
Find another club, these activities are supposed to be fun but from what you’ve said it’s anything but.

Yeah they sound dreadful and a rip off!
They don't deserve your custom or your daughter's talent. I hope you can find a new, better club.

For that much money the least they can do is politely address your legitimate concerns.

I can't imagine many kids and parents are happy if it's run in this way?

I don't think you're being unreasonable
They don't sound very good

How are they justifying that fee increase?

She'd changed the pathways and was trying to make it more in line with the squads we compete against by introducing multiple cheer groups at varying levels. Previously they trained twice a week. She'd now introduced a new pathway where the elite trainers were in 5 days a week - plus we had to commit to additional 1:1 training because she was a soloist. And for my youngest daughter who did once a week previously, her pathway now meant she was in 3 days a week.

It seems that parents are scared (and I guess rightfully so) to complain - some of the most talented children, randomly never came back and of course we never got clarity why. I now suspect it's her response to being challenged.

None of that sounds like fun. I’d find either another club or a slightly different hobby which uses the talent and skills your DDs have developed if that sort of behaviour is common across clubs.

It all sounds quite mad. I honestly don't understand why you were paying even the original sum for a club you clearly had significant concerns with, to the point of raising major concerns in writing three times in four years -- far less why you started paying the higher fees for a service you were unhappy with at even the cheaper rate?

I mean, it's some kind of cheerleading thing, right? It's supposed to be fun, right?

Just find a club that's a better fit?

You say these were raised over time, so what immediately preceded the cancelling of their places and is there a contact in place?

Bar the first issue, the other two have only happened since the fee increase - the end of year showcase was the first complaint I'd ever raised (after 4 years of being there), and that was in June 2025. I'd never had an issue before and so didn't feel this was a big enough issue to remove her as she loved it and she assured me the new pathways would align better with my wanting to know exactly how she was getting on - which it definitely has.

The second issue was in November. And then the final issue was this one that just happened a couple of days ago.

I think you’ve been a boiling frog in this situation, it gently got madder and madder and you didn’t notice and you’ve just accepted over time paying thousands, your daughters being worked like dogs, and being scared of the manager.

We had a very similar situation with a football team and woke up one day and thought WTF and left (before we were pushed tbf). DS, after about fifteen minutes upset, was fine and actually once the sadness wore off we all realised it was all mental and have never looked back.

This is a GOOD thing, probably a great thing for the whole family. Just take a breather until
after Easter and then think about joining another team or pivoting to a new club. Keep it fun. Even if your girls are destined to be professional tumblers/cheerleaders (vanishingly unlikely) then they won’t fall behind having a a couple of months out and then keeping training to a normal level for a child.

Leave after writing a suitable review….

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape to me! I appreciate that your daughters will be very upset right now but this sounds like a rather toxic environment and they are probably better out of it. My DC had rather all consuming hobbies too so I do understand how devastating it must feel right now, but I also know how damaging these kind of things can be and how important it is to find the right team/club/coach etc. Look for other options. Where have the other young people who left/got thrown out gone?
You are not unreasonable to feel upset but this sounds like a situation that can't be retrieved (and probably shouldn't be to be frank). Learn from the experience and move on.

You're clearly not happy with the company and haven't been for a while so you probably should have removed your daughters already. The uniform thing sounds rather harsh on the children. The manager has simply decided that it's more effort than it's worth to have your kids stay part of the club. It sucks for them but maybe you can find a club more suited to what you want.

How many weeks are in a term? Because while paying £1400 for 2 per term sounds a lot, it also sounds like you are getting a total of 8 sessions across a week and maybe some extras. If you work out the cost per session then you can compare the costs of training with other clubs. Unfortunately you may find this is just the going rate.

Totally agree. When you're in an environment where things aren't quite right - but everyone else just complains behind the clubs back and never says anything - you kind of just get used to that. There were so many things in hindsight. Like her asking if she could use our kids for marketing pictures for the club and then telling us if we want to see the pictures we have to pay for them which is hilarious.

Totally right about cheerleading being a pretty dead end career in this country - I wanted to move them to gymnastics anyway so I guess she's made that easy to do.

Gutting for your boy, but glad he was ok fairly quickly.

Absolutely crazy. And the most expensive club ai have ever heard of!!
Although training 5 times a week I suppose per session it might be value for money.
Is there another club anywhere nearby?
The owner sounds insane tbh

Thing is - outside of those isolated situations, I was happy with the progress the girls were making and they were super happy there. I have quite a good relationship with the head coach which is what makes this all so much stranger. We often chat for 30-40 minutes after pick up about life, we text - so I was even more bewildered at the response.

The money isn't really the issue - I think it was fine for what we were getting, the girls were there 5 days a week so it worked out about £115 a week for 8-9 hours - which isn't bad. It was more that she offered a payment plan because she knew the costs were high and most parents are not in a position to pay the whole term fee upfront; but then used it as a way to exclude the kids who had no control over their parents finances.

My interpretation is that you have complained 3 times so she sees you as “tricky” parent. She has decided that she wants you out of the club before your complaints spread to others. To get you out, she dumps your kids.

I think she is unprofessional and with all the changes she has brought in, the owner is perhaps struggling to keep on top of things.

I think you are correct that she does not like to be challenged. Most of us don’t to be fair. But her response is poor.

I also think that you are paying through the nose for all of this. Sounds very similar to experiences my friends have had with gymnastics over the years.

On the face of it your concerns seem very valid. However some people running clubs can be very cut throat and dont like any sort of query.

Tbh they dont sound very good not doing new work etc.

We had similar where my kid (audhd) was removed from an activity. I had questioned something (about getting a badge where the rules clearly said you could do a video but obviously my kid couldnt do in person due to anxiety. ).
Anyway not only did they remove my kid from the club, they wouldnt allow them to move to next level for over a year. And removed their sibling!
Ironically it was a crisis that pushed us towards diagnosis

I would be livid.
How many people does she have paying that amount every month?
10/ 20, she could be raking in 350k a year from teaching cheer for two hours a day and treats her clients like slaves at the same time.
Absolutely bonkers that anyone would pay that price but clearly they are and now you arent.
Lucky escape.

Totally agree. She said "the communication has become unmanageable because you're challenging my integrity". I explained multiple times that it wasn't a personal attack, that I was simply stating excluding children from a team activity because their parents are using a payment plan you offered them is unfair.

I've too heard similar horror stories from other gymnastics clubs and think the general consensus is that parents learn very quickly to shut up and put up which is unfair

I had a club like this. When I finally found the courage to point out that there hadn’t actually been a noticeable difference in a year and things were actually going backwards the leader stopped my membership and immediately went into full character assassination mode telling everyone who would listen all about what a terrible person I was and how I had said dreadful things about them. Sadly some people think they are so important that they just can’t cope with being challenged. She just wasn’t a good club leader and didn’t have a clue what she was doing but constantly banged on about how she’s done it for 35 years and knows everything, which would have made her still at primary school when she started work! On more than one occasion she blatantly copied something she’d seen on a TV program about the topic pretending it was one of her own routines. 😂

The business owner has done you a favour. Great! Now you can spend much less and your girls will get more opportunities elsewhere.

Depending where you are in the uk and their ages, move your girls to a British Gymnastics accredited club for any of Tumbling, TeamGym, trampoline, artistic gymnastics, aerobic gymnastics or acro
Their cheerleading background will give them a head start. If they are older than 10 I’d probably not go for artistic but look at one of the other disciplines.
you will pay much much less and there will be many more opportunities for them to shine. And trust your gut, if you don’t like the feel of the head coach, try a different gym.

Alternatively check out performance dance troupes, synchronised swimming, diving.

lots of alternatives for fit, motivated kids

Ooh no idea how I managed to make big text 😂