AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

[AbFab1231]

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

Please leave a very detailed review of this all to warn other families. Sounds awful.

They are 6 and 10 - both absolutely obsessed with tumble, we have a 20ft mat out in the garden constantly and they live, eat and breath practicing their skills despite me urging them to give it a rest lol - however, I definitely agree its a chance to reconsider and let them explore some different activities to see if there is something they enjoy more. :)

Completely reasonable issues to raise and frankly quite minor. Def move to another club asap, or a sport where their skills can be developed without being controlled by a coach who clearly won't take any input from parents.

Technically it’s her club so unless you have a signed contract saying otherwise, she doesn’t have to keep your children in it.

However, if she continues to behave in such an unprofessional manner she risks losing so many students that her club becomes unviable, particularly if there is an alternative club nearby. If there isn’t an alternative yet then maybe one of her instructors will defect and set one up!

I would leave a review but keep it very factual and objective. Sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape really. Someone is making a LOT of profit out of these kids, it sounds a lot like the pageant racket.

She doesn't have to mention that. Just point out all the negatives and then say as a result her daughters no longer go and she would like to warn others.

Well she does have terms and conditions which say that we've all agreed to be bound by those terms if we use the service. The terms state 'intimidation, threats and aggression' as reasons she can terminate a contract - not for a parent having an opinion you don't like and telling you in a calm, not aggressive way. It also says in her t&c that parents are always welcome to address their concerns with the club - irony.

Is your 0 year old year 6? I know for us there's now far more homework a week for Sat's and then it'll step up again once she's in high school.

Obviously if your looking St them competing in regional / international competitions it takes time but I think it's important to raise kids who are well rounded esp when they're so young

She's Year 5. But she is currently doing 11+ tutoring a few nights a week so totally get what you mean about far more work than for the younger one.

I do think they're quite well rounded, they do different after school clubs at their request - football, netball, computer club. The training sounds a lot but realistically it's an hour/hour and a half out of their evenings.

Think we'll use this sudden free time to try some new things - maybe there's a different activity they'll enjoy more :)

Usually these type of clubs aren’t worth the money and when one or two start to leave there can be a flood of people leaving

Shop around and find where the elite ones who left are attending now and sign DD’s up. .They will soon get over their devastation when they realise that the new club is stretching them and teaching them new things

I feel your pain OP

My girls do competitive dance and it costs me £500 a month in fees for their classes. Additional costs like costumes, private coaching, competition entry fees, etc are extra on top.

The politics and drama is off the scale. There are parents who clash with the teachers, whereas I go with the flow to try not to make myself & the girls a target as I’ve seen children over the years punished because their parent spoke up against things.

Im counting down the days until my two finish at 18/19 and we are almost there, they’re 14 & 17 now (been doing this since they were 4 & 7)!

if we had our time again I would definitely try to find a nicer team with an owner that isn’t batshit crazy 🤪

Apologies for the derail but

hashtags make big text.

As you were.

It sounds like the owner is very greedy and much more interested in the money than the children!

As an ex gymnast mum I would suggest moving in that direction you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It is so expensive, the equipment/comp leotards are expensive and the bitching and control by coaches are off the scale

It's meant to be fun! Closed sessions are fine IMO, but not being able to raise concerns is an issue. Though... the Uniform try on thing didn't impact you, so I can see why that didn't get a great response. The cost per hour is OK, but was there an option to join a less time-intensive team?

Try out at another place once the season is finished, but maybe look for somewhere that isn't results focused. See if they're members of a governing body. Or find a tumble-specific class at a gymnastics club, which should be a member of British Gymnastics.

Let them do whatever fun activities are safe and affordable.

Someone else said similar about gymnastics.
£100 a month for 10 hrs per week
Plus comp fees
Are those costs normal for cheerleading?
How does anyone afford it?!

The owner seems to think she’s Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms lol

Find a better club :)

I am outraged on your behalf, DD has been at 2 clubs (simultaneously) both have elite teams and one is in a large city very competitive and has won come top in many of the most competitive divisions UK & abroad.

Neither are anywhere near the cost you have mentioned!

Over the decade there have been issues over various matters and they have always been dealt with professionally and kindly/calmly.

You are well out of it.

Training 5 times per week is ridiculous. Even for those competing at Worlds only had 4 hours team training per week!

AbFab1231
Cannot believe you had to ask
She didnt probably ever like you thinking the hike would be enough to push you out or you'd pay the £1400 whilst she'd hoodwink you not assuming you'd ever enquire about progress/general queries etc; so how dare you and this is why your girls were always the ones "caught short."
The communication between youse was rotten, she knew but didn't care,
The bluff dictator of a bullycow!
She's, as far as she's concerned showed muscle by removing your girls ( did she make a show of it?) Not caring about their upset.
So find another nicer club for your girls to join?
Let the madness run itself elsewhere over there

I’m so sorry for your girls but it sounds like they’d be better off without this. It’s no way to run a group like that which operates on high morale and good will. I very much hope you find something else that they enjoy.

It depends on how many hours they do, and if they have private, one-to-one coaching.
But if you had professionally run club (ie one that's for profit, not relying on volunteers) the cost per hour would be similar. We're just so used to parent-run or subsidised clubs.

Mine has done similar, but 3 hours a week, no private classes, 1 competition is online (so v cheap) and then three other competitions a year. They use the same outfit for 3 years (minimum). Cost is around 150 a month (obviouslynot in summer), with another 400 on for competitions & extra comp practices. So, yes it's expensive!

£1,400 a term in fees is insane. YANBU.

Another one who thinks you're better off out of it tbh, although I understand why you're unhappy for your dc, and agree it does raise wider issues about the overall governance of extra curricular clubs if parents are being disencouraged to not raise valid concerns.

Good luck to her trying to fill their spaces! Surely there can't be many people willing to pay that much a month!

Nearly there mama! lol!

It's so conflicting because it actually comes across like a really nice club (sure I've had two other issues - but they weren't huge issues and the only ones I've had in 4 years which I don't think is too bad) which I think is why I'm more shocked at the way she handled this?