AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

[AbFab1231]

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

You know what - you're not the first person to say that she clearly didn't like me and that's the only reason they can think she would get rid of the kids over a parental disagreement.

As an adult and parent, it's like whatever; totally used to people doing outlandish things - but it's been really difficult watching the impact it's had on my girls who don't really get how such a big part of their lives has just come to an end no closure,

At this age activities are meant to be fun, not something that is 'worked at'. Sadly you have come up against the toxic gymnastics/cheer world of mean girls (and by that I mean the adults running it). It's all about image and not at all about the kids.

Get them into something daft and enjoyable. Let them enjoy their childhood, play with toys, do sport for fun, not to work at. Not your fault but they re so easily impressionable at that age, and get it into their minds that they are going to be big champions. They're not two 17 year olds trying to secure a US cheer scholarship.

I would take it as far as to say I was the highest paying parent in the club - my daughter was in both squads, and a soloist so had to have additionally 1:1 hourly training, my other daughter did two classes; and we were literally discussing days before that my youngest was ready to start competing in mini divisions which would have probably increased my fees to about £1800 a term - but not allowed to raise any issues lol, must pay silently

Be glad you have got out now!

We’ve been stuck with a dance teacher for years!

Find another club for them.
Their skills can be applied to other sports too.
I bet you will find the missing children in the club you end up in.
Competing is great, but they must have fun and be cared for. Extreme sports and training can damaged your daughters for life! Never sign with any club that does not allow parents in the training sessions! And 5 days a week!

I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

Has she kept your money?

Leave? Have you actually RTFT?

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns. There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation all concerns were raised privately and in writing. So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

They are utterly and totally unhinged to sack you off for raising concerns calmly and professionally. I absolutely HATE people involved in youth club / hobby setting who are unable to take constructive criticism on board. It's completely unprofessional and pathetic. YANBU and the leader or whoever asked your poor daughters to leave is a total cunt.

Now is the time to stop attending this expensive and dishonest business and find something more positive and healthy for your family.

It's essentially abuse of power, which is particularly evil where children are involved and she sounds corrupt for not letting them use the costumes you were paying and expecting support for some but not giving to others.

You’re better off out of there!

Seems to me you have become an ‘issue’ as you’re no longer compliant. I’d say it’s a blessing in disguise to be honest.

This is crazy and the club owner sounds like a megomaniac! She obviously loves the power and control - with that attitude I cannot see how she can be providing a good atmosphere for the kids .

I think you are better off cutting your losses.

You mentioned some talented kids disappeared- do you know where they went? Maybe you can follow them to a new cheer squad or gym class .

I think YABU for even paying that amount a month for such young cheerleading!

The club sounds absolutely bonkers but my god over 16k a year for cheerleading for a 6 & 10 year old!!!
You could easily bank roll them through uni, set them up with a huge deposit for a house or go to Disney land every year for that amount of money!

Give your head a wobble (and do some maths!) before signing them up for the next expensive club (and my children ski every week!)

They are vile as well as daylight robbing you

How have you done that maths then? £1400 a term is £4200 a year. Where on earth have you got £16k from

I would absolutely take this further.

make an officer complaint. Find someone to contact. They’re be insured and have affiliates etc.

I’m getting Dance Mom vibes… would look at a different club and move on

Looking into it but think it's so unregulated there is literally nobody to take it further with

OMG! Are you dancing at Abby Lee Dance Company? They sound bat shit. You are better off somewhere else!

Move to a different club. Where you know people hopefully and can get feedback.

then ask for your money back

if she does not repay you. Give her another chance. Then make a claim in the small claims court.

she has taken your money and not given you the goods and services as expected and it’s a lot of money.

she sounds unhinged and so are all the parents supporting her. That’s a helluva lot of £££ for a kids hobby. And we do expensive hobbies.

I'd join one of their rival clubs and hope to beat them in future

Ahhh sorry was reading it per month hence 16k (it's been a long day and was waiting for my 4 year old to fall asleep!)

4k although a lot better is still alot for a single sports activity and would be 16k if you had paid that for the next 4 years.
I get that horse riding will be loads more then that but its still alot given there ages.

Sports should be fun yes youth development is needed in sports but it should be fun that level of training and pressure long term would not be fun!

I say that as a ex swimmer who used to train at 5.30am before school by 13 I was completely done with it!

Maybe they’re massively scamming you all and mis-using the funds, and you’re getting too close to the truth by questioning them. Is there any regulating body who monitors groups like this who you could ask to check their accounts, and whether things are being run properly?

She sounds awful. I hope there is another cheer club hour girls can go to. And I wouldn't hold back when other parents ask why you aren't there anymore.

These seem valid and discreetly raised concerns, however they’ve inadvertently done you a huge favour…

You are best off well away from this set up and can hopefully put the money saved to better use.

My daughter does cheer at a high level. Including a return to Florida this April.

I wouldn't be impressed with your club based on what you've written. Just no.

I would be looking elsewhere.