AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

[AbFab1231]

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

The venue is 5 minutes from my house. We’re home by 6.30 on activity days…many children are just getting home from after school club at that time - what on earth is the difference except she’s doing something she actively chose and loves. Tuition is twice a week for 30 minutes on non-cheer days. Again - doesn’t work for everyone I get it; but it worked for mine.

Thank you for the info x

What works for some kids doesn’t work at all for others. My kids have activities almost every evening. We prioritise down time on the weekends sometimes, but they are thriving with a busy schedule. I pushed back for years on my daughter doing more dance (used to keep her to twice a week) but I let her choose (up to a set budget) this year and she’s so happy with it. She struggles socially and doesn’t really hang out casually with her friends often - she’s much happier doing dance with them and being busy.

My son has football or taekwando most evenings but that leaves hours for playing out and whining for screen time and reading books. He doesn’t need any more time for any of that. It’s 90 mins total for him an evening as everything is close by and he gets ready in less than a minute. More faffing for my daughter with hair and whatnot but it’s still much better than her sitting around on her phone for hours.

Exactly this!!!

What works for some kids doesn’t work for others and I don’t get the sort of judgments passed for the kids being busy doing things they really love and are good at.

My son plays football too and so like you that’s most evenings it’s football for him and then the girls doing their tumble/cheer.

I find that other families with the same dynamic get it but to others it sounds crazy which I get too.

It’s definitely more doable as we prioritised location when choosing activities - we have one car and both work full time so can’t be running around in different directions. When there’s a taekwando or dance comp it gets a bit silly but otherwise it’s fine. And honestly now that my daughter is 13 we don’t really need her stomping around the house being grumpy any more than she is now lol

She also has a maths tutor on the weekends while I’m at football with my son. Still leaves all Sunday from lunch time, most Saturdays and lots of school holidays to do whatever else we want.

My DD did a lot of Cheer and Dance and Guides for many years, helped keep her ADHD in check.

I want to know what cheer club @AbFab1231 😂

@NewYearSameYoume too never known a club start a routine in September for first competition in March!

looool no chance. I actually wish them no harm, I'm sure they'll do just fine without us - I just wanted unbiased clarity :)

Fair enough! Mine is happy where she is right now; not all clubs are a good fit for every child, though. x

March seems quite late to be starting competing...

Ours did their showcase end of November and were at first competition following December weekend... Our schedule is insane from here on out..

@NewYearSameYou yes that sounds more familiar.

Showcase Dec, competition last week, some teams were in Dublin last month, erm another comp the end of the month and can’t remember after that now I’m not providing transportation anymore!!

My daughter is in a competitive cheer squad.

it’s very clear that this club owner does not have the kids interests at heart. To just drop them like that after years of dedication, and ostracise those whose parents are on payment plans? She’s doing it for the money and nothing else.

although my daughter is probably in a lower level than yours as only started a year ago, we pay around £70 a month to be on the team. Tumble classes (optional) are weekly and £35 a month. 1:1s (optional) £20 for 30 mins, discount for 2 kids together.
practice is twice a week (3 hours) The elite & international teams are 3 times a week I believe.
daughter has come on leaps and bounds since starting. Already completed 2 comps (Essex and Wembley) and have Birmingham next month, and another Birmingham later on too. The higher teams also have Bournemouth and some the summit in the US and Barcelona.
The coaches really do support the kids - it’s evident in all the comms and what I see at training & comps. They are role models.
Although costly, especially when factoring in the kit , spectator tickets and athlete entry fees, signing her up has been one of the best decisions we made.
So I really hope you find a new club!

That's really interesting actually - I thought two comps wasn't very much - but to be honest, we only ever do about 4 in a year which by the sounds of things is very very few compared to others. Really interesting getting the perspective of cheer mums not from our club as I don't think any of us in the club I was in really had a clue about the industry lol

It should be very clear what you sign up to for the year and commitment required.

I assume they do try outs to see which team (s) the are in.

I can’t imagine them doing solos or stunt team and not changing routine between years!!

At one point my DD was in 3 teams, she’s competed in Summit & NCA in the US. They have a few teams at Worlds every year.

Actually both clubs have been very hot on safeguarding and athlete support and welfare. They have been supported families through all sorts of things, coercive relationships, parents with addiction issues, neglect, school bullying ignored by the school etc. That all goes on behind the scenes.

my research in the last few days has shown that the club I’m at is far smaller than almost every other cheer club it seems. I think the fact it is so small gets in the way of the professionalism of things. Also they aren’t accredited or with any bodies so they can pretty much just do what they like and don’t worry about accountability.

the places you’ve mentioned seem far more child impact led and focused which is good

It's a cheer club - not gymnastics. There is literally nothing else offering the same service within 10 miles. I'm not knocking them by the way - I was otherwise happy outside of the handling of my concerns.

@AbFab1231our local club is small, very small when DD started and the older athletes disappeared over Covid.

This is why DD was on 3 teams when younger 😂 various levels and 2 different age groups! They stopped doing stunt teams as the group grew.

They have more younger teams now but only 2 senior/open teams and most athletes are on both. Also the age restrictions on teams has changed a lot in the last 3/4 years.

@AbFab1231 - very roughly where are you based as people may have suggestions for good clubs? My DD goes to a great cheer club that has lots of teams for all ages and abilities - it’s about 30 min drive away but she has really blossomed there compared to her old club, so for us it’s worth it.

You are being unreasonable for staying with a service provider you felt you had to complain to. I just think of you weren’t happy you should move. It’s not a public service where you have no choice. Cheer and dance are hideous industries. My friends dd left at 16 after 10 years and friend got confrontational reply about why. In reality she was going to lose 400 a month in fees.

I think one complaint is fine but several is j reasonable