AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

[AbFab1231]

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

We literally don’t see each other. It’s closed sessions so we drop them and go. We literally see eachother at pick up and drop off for seconds. And then on comp days.

plus now that I think about it - a lot of these parents are new

At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before.

just your daughter or others?

just your daughter left without team support during her solo?

lol always one. Thank you for your opinion 🙂

Were you paying for the uniforms in installments? Or did you raise your concerns with her on behalf of other parents who were paying in instalments?

We were paying in instalments - I wouldn’t have said anything if it didn’t directly affect my kids - not in a “I don’t care about others way” but because it’s kind of taking painkillers for other peoples headaches

What is it with cheer clubs?!! My daughter moved to one once from a different club that closed and it was crazy. It was so expensive, very demanding. She joined a rec team as she hadn’t done it for a while but they quickly realised she was good and asked her to fill a gap on their comp team. It was framed as we would be doing them a favour. Very quickly it was you have to buy tickets for all these events, you have to pay ££££ for costumes, attendance was mandatory and she couldn’t even miss training on her birthday, missing training would have to be approved in writing in advance but if missed more than one session they would be off the team etc. none of which was told to us before she joined the team. To make matters worse all the other girls were so bitchy and competitive so we cut our losses and left.

she joined a really really lovely dance school and does commercial and acro. I bet your girls would love acro. The school doesn’t really enter comps but there are one or two a year that the coach will send details of incase anyone wants to go. They do have a separate comp class but only a few do that. Most kids there are just doing it for the enjoyment of it without any pressure which is great.

I hope you find a lovely new activity for the girls that they can fully enjoy without all the politics and being ripped off.

She sounds like a con artist ! I would have taken my girls out of there long ago !

If I’m honest, I wouldn’t know if other kids did the same performance but the truth is, when asked what the case was she said “yeah she didn’t make the progress I hoped she would and could have done with extra sessions to achieve them” - which was why I was annoyed because I ask you every session how she’s getting on and it was never mentioned there was a progress issue until after the annual showcase. The sessions are closed so there is no way for me to know how she’s getting on outside of shows and asking.

It was my daughter and another child who were doing solos with no team support. We both broached the subject and she fully understood but said she wasn’t moving on her “policy” so we complied to ensure they could stay in the future competitions.

I’ve heard so many horror stories in the last few days - i really didn’t know it was a thing!! Naive of me.

I’m so glad your daughter has found something she love. My girls are trying a new gymnastics club tonight which will be exciting.

I bet cheer is quite a unique hobby is it? I’ve not heard of any classes in my area, certainly not at this level. My daughter has just started horse riding she’s only 3 and I have noticed this type of behaviour from them. It’s as if they know they are few and far between and that the kids clearly love the hobby and have made friends etc so they think they can treat you how they like! It’s shocking! I’d complain and ask for a copy of their complaints procedure and take it as high as you can. Your poor girls!

And I thought swimming was an expensive hobby!

I agree you need to find another team. £700 a term per child and costume costs on top is ridiculous.

She cant practice her routine at home - we don’t have the space unfortunately. She has a mat and can practice skills which she does, and will do the walk through of the routine but not the full thing - she didn’t mention it and I didn’t ask; reason I didn’t ask about it, being her end of showcase routine is always a surprise where it’s something they’ve put together specifically for that. So I was surprised but not for the right reasons lol.

Exactly that - It’s literally no skin off their nose to remove you and so it breeds an environment where people are scared to speak up which isn’t right - and if you do speak up, you’re considered the probably like a previous commenter said I was a pain lolol

Yep, each to their own. I have explained though why I didn’t ask her about the end of year showcase solo. It’s not the same as her performance solos where we go through them meticulously together.

We left Cheer because we didn’t like the vibe and pressure and my daughter now competes in trampolining. There’s loads of opportunities to compete, the cost is reasonable and I pay around £130 a month for 4 hours training a week. I think there’s too much pressure in many clubs and also saw a lack of robust safe guarding.

It's not just 90 minutes, though, is it? If you're older child is doing the cheer club thing 5 days a week, then she's doing the tuition and other activities on top of that - to say nothing of the time she spends being ferried to and from the various venues, changing into and out of specialist clothes, showering etc. She presumably has to do homework as well as tuition, and all of this is on top of a busy day at school. And, it is to be hoped, at some point in there they get to have a meal.

When do they get a good long time to rest and decompress, unwind from the day, talk the day through with you and each other, and just relax?

You can report this club to the governing body. This is totally unacceptable behaviour. The one that governs the four in the uk is Sport Cheer uk.

Wve