I'm too boring for DH

[Wowserbowser88]

Not even sure where to start with this one

Dh has been off with me all week. Snappy, short answers to any questions and just not engaged at all.

He had a drink tonight and finally admitted that he thinks i'm too boring for him. Because I don't have many friends. Don't go out and when I do its usually with work friends.

He thinks I am a terrible friend because I don't have many so I must be.

I don't go to any clubs or activities etc and we don't go out at the weekend often.

Here's the thing.. we have 2 children (8 and 4.) Both work full time and up until a year ago he worked shifts (earlies/lates/nights) so I could never make plans as he was always on shift. Even now he often works shifts. tho less of them and has weeks where he is on call 24/7 so I can't do anything

He also goes to football most weekends all day on Saturday so i'm at home with kids and he may stay put in the pub after until late

He was away with work last week and said he sat in a hotel room just thinking how badly he'd messed up by marrying someone so boring

He seems to think people, even with young children are out socialising every weekend and we're not and the children will suffer because of it

Wow!
Man here, what an inconsiderate man/boy.
Have a long hard talk to him.
If that's what he really thinks, there is no other option but to get rid.
But you already know that.

Wow, what an arrogant arsehole.

Also, only boring people find others boring.

Don't do the pick-me dance. As in, don't suddenly try to do more stuff. He'll just find another way to criticise you.

I'd get right on his tits if I were you. Sit and stare at a wall. When he asks you what you're doing, say "Being boring." 😆

I must admit, this crossed my mind. When men cheat, suddenly their wives can do nothing right.

Criticising your wife and telling her she's boring isn't opening up and talking about his feelings. It's being an insufferable twat.

This idiot is deflecting, he is the bore, why is he asking you to contact the wives of his football mates, I will tell you what I think, he wants to go out with them but they all put him off because they see him as a PITA. If they refuse you he has someone to blame.
The above could be wrong of course, and he could have another woman, heaven help her with him.
I would keep an eye on this, and make sure all documentation=passports are safe in case he decides he is so bored he needs to leave.
He sounds tedious.

He's a mess, treating his wife and mother of his children like crap. What a prick.

Good job you do have your work, hopefully that will give you the independence to leave this piece of shit.

why does he think it's only up to you to organise events with the children?
Let him organise something and you will help out.

100% cheating or trying to cheat.

This 100%. Be very watchful OP, something is up and it’s not what he’s saying it is.

You’re so smart 👌

Can we see some of this poetry? 🤭

He has a massive crush on someone much younger and (to him) much more exciting.

Sorry

Honestly op, you need to buy some red underwear and learn to belly dance . . .

Alternatively tell him to fuck off with his mid life crisis.

Wow your DH sounds like the height of fun and entertainment…goes to football, goes to the pub, rude to his wife, does not look after his kids. What a cliche he is. Leave the bastard.

He either cheating already or has met someone else and wants to be, this is his way of rewriting history, of making out you had an unhappy marriage so when it ultimately blows up, he’s not the bad guy. Except, of course, he is. Silly prick. I wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to with such blatant contempt op, and nor should you. Sitting around his hotel room stewing about you not messaging the football wags (because he sounds sooo thrilling! Pub and football, revolutionary!) is such bullshit.

So sorry OP, that’s so hurtful. Obviously not true, but horrible to hear anyway.

He sounds soooo exciting himself, football and pub, so predictable.

I would tell him he's fucking disgusting and if his parents were together when he was growing up I'd ask him what would he have thought of his father if he said that to his mother, would he think that was ok? I'd tell him whatever the fuck was going on with him I didn't deserve to be his punching bag and then I'd take back my power and tell him to get the fuck out.
Of course you can't make him leave, and he may well be cheating but absolutely no way would I tolerate that disgusting behaviour. I wouldn't defend myself against his words, I wouldn't try to be more exciting. I would make sure he knew his awful words did not have the desired effect and all they did was show what a pig he was.

He's had his head turned OP. You need to take steps to protect yourself for when be pulls the rug.

All you have is children and work!? He’s an absolute lost cause OP. Looking after both those roles alone would mean I’d be wanting quiet snatched me time at every opportunity…
What does he mean by boring!? Not going clubbing every other night?
Nothing boring about being a great Mum and keeping your head above water at work.
Tell him you’ve thought about what he said and you want a fresh start. It’s over.

Hearing about some of these spouses do think 💭 if ar*eholes could fly MumsNet would be a bleeping airport ✈️

Wow. What a prince amongst men. You must be counting your lucky stars to have married such a wonderfully not boring catch who spends his time at football and the pub. He sounds an absolute loser. I’m so sorry he thinks he can talk to you like this and I hope you have the strength to tell him to get to fuck X

He thinks going out all day Saturday around “football” isn’t boring? That he leads such an interesting social life?

Where is he on a Saturday helping to facilitate your kids seeing their friends?

He’s got his little stroppy dictator boots on hasn’t he.

“your boring and you are making the kids boring because you don’t live like this”.

And you know what later today in the pub he will be holding court with the other football bores, and they will all agree with him that they are the interesting ones and he was just “telling you as it is”.

Why does he stay?
Did you ask him?
I guess you do all his laundry, shopping, house cleaning, you know the boring jobs, you are probably ok enough to do that. Plus give him easy sex and pay towards the house.

Has he figured it out yet that your boringness is what enables him, a father of two impressionable aged children, spend the whole of Saturday with others getting drunk?

You are not the boring one @Wowserbowser88

What do you want to do?
Do you want to stay with him?

Exactly - not really in the Bloomsbury Set is he?

I would add that he also sounds like a bit of a cunt.

This. I'm sorry but it's classic behaviour. He's checking out and trying to blame you. What a horrible man. I really don't know why you want to be with him.