New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

Agree

I think I would have landed the map over her head

Pay attention OP if you were giving directions. I’m not surprised he snapped at you.

He's your significant other at this time, however you choose to describe your relationship. A rose by any other name...😉

It's your duty, is it? No, I don't think so. She wasn't doing a professional job. Clearly they agreed between themselves that he would drive and she would help navigate but what kind of a driver relies on a passenger to navigate for 12 hours? What about his duty to keep them both safe? Why did he 'have' to make a lane change at the last moment - if it wasn't safe, then he shouldn't have done that. And what, she was supposed to sit there with her eyes glued to her phone for 12 hours and make sure she wasn't distracted by any conversation or anything going on?

What a load of nonsense. It's like none of you have ever been in a car before.

And yes, it is an expression of contempt if you convey that you think another person is stupid or incompetent.

Meaning….?

If this was the second cock up on a very long and tiring drive, I'd probably expect to be snapped at a bit, but maybe I've got low standards. He did apologise and didn't continue it, so I think benefit of the doubt. It's early days yet.

Going home I told him to direct me. Coming up to a right hand turn, not a very well signposted and slightly off set and not clear but I vaguely recognised it he says "take the right coming up" I say "this right?" he says "the right coming up" I say again "this right?" he says again "the right coming up" I say "FFS that could mean the right coming up in half a mile. THIS right is the one right here".

And this is really common, especially on a 12 hour journey. It’s hard being that focused as the passenger giving directions for that long.

As you found, when you relied on Google Maps, you fared much better.

OP should not be blamed for the boyfriend being a dweeby unprepared driver.

So to recap:

You screwed up the directions, he was driving for 12 hours, he got frustrated for a second, he apologised?

And yet you somehow feel his behaviour needs closer examination?

Good grief.

Your the only person that think so

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

she’s not asking for advice after the fact she’s asking g if he was right to utter “fucks sake” after all the mistakes she made

That's good he said sorry. I think I'd have said sorry back for adding time to a long journey, rather than trying to make a point.

They're not the only person who thinks so. I agree.

She made two mistakes in a 12 hour journey. He made several massive mistakes, like not having sat nav and expecting his passenger to behave like a robot and then losing his sense of humour and acting like a dick.

Your the only person that think so

Yeah, nice try, that ‘we vs you’ shit doesn’t work on me.

It isn’t even true, plenty of people have told OP the boyfriend was wrong, RTFT.

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

Exactly, HE, as the driver, should have been prepared and had a maps app on his phone or a sat nav, that’s my point.

💯 well said.

Of course it was her duty if they had divided the responsibilities as they did. It was his duty to drive as safely as possible on a long and tiring journey and hers to pay attention to where they were and give directions in time. Duty isn't just a word that refers to a paid work situation.

If someone behaves stupidly or incompetently, it's not contempt to say so, it's the plain truth.

I think YABU.
He didn't swear AT you, he swore in frustration.... he is human.

But that isn’t what she has laid out

2/3 people thinks she’s wrong and she keeps arguing - also that voting was done before she drip fed what she did so prob more 3/3 now

anyone can say they don’t want to navigate - you have no idea of the set up and why they wee using a map - I don’t know why you keep mentioning sat nav - THEY WERE NOT USING IT

So about two people on whole thread now we’ve had the drip feed

If he didn't swear at her, why did he apologise for 'being harsh'?

He was swearing at her. I'd bin him.

Meaning an otherwise lovely longterm established partner tutting FFS after I gave tardy instructions on a long drive? Not a big deal.

A boyfriend of 3 months who I am still getting to know and who is presumably still trying to manage his brand image somewhat?

Yeah that gives me pause for thought and im going to do a quick temperature check with other women via MN, if thats okay with you FishFingerSandwichs

So what do you want OP to do, meekly say she is wrong, and you are right?

The point is he should have been using it. Relying on a passenger to be a directions giver for 12 hours is really fucking stupid! You can ask OP why they didn’t use it if you’re so bothered.

😂😂 brand

yes 2/3 said you being unreasonable and that was before your drip feed

it’s a non issue and normal behaviour from him

so he just tutted rather than snapping at you - thank for that further clarification

No, a lot of people have told OP the boyfriend was wrong, read the thread.

I don't believe that being in a minority makes me automatically wrong. Especially not on MN where most commenters seem to be mainly looking for a pretext on which to give the OP a good kicking.

That's a good point. He didnt need to apologise at all because after his tutting we had 30 seconds of silence and then got straight back to normal and I didnt bring it up

Why? It's horrible to be driving and not know what lane you are supposed to be in or where to turn. He's allowed to be ratty about that. People are allowed to express the full range of their emotions and this was a moment where irritation is a normal response.

Don't turn it into something bigger than it is. He apologised for being ratty, you apologised for not focusing. Both did minor things wrong, both said sorry. End of. Totally normal. No red flags.

But honestly, use sat nav!