New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

What are you on about? Use your noggin, read the rules.

Key Rules for Using a Sat Nav (Phone or Dedicated Unit):

• Mount it Securely: Use a dedicated mount or cradle to ensure the device is not held in your hand.
• Positioning: Place the device where it does not block your view of the road or traffic ahead (outside the windscreen wiper sweep is ideal).
• Set Before Driving: Program your destination, route, and settings before you start your journey.
• Hands-Free Only: If you need to adjust the route, pull over to a safe place and stop the engine first.
• No Touching While Moving: Interacting with the screen—even just a tap to accept a route change—while moving is illegal.
• Stopped in Traffic: The law applies when stopped at traffic lights or queuing.

Or be sworn at by a new boyfriend?

If you agree to navigate you agree to navigate. Not agree to navigate and make mistakes constantly. Why should he plan the journey and drive? Not exactly sharing the load is it?

People are not robots, people make navigation mistakes.

Are you always perfect?

Why don’t you ask OP about the journey instead of making assumptions.

SHE should have been prepared as the navigator. if this was the other way round I bet you'd still blame the boyfriend.

As he said sorry I think I’d move past this. I’m with you though OP - as they say ‘Love is patient, love is kind’ except after a 12 hour journey

Why didn't he just use a sat nav!

Really. How can any couple get through life without snapping at each other. My husband and I will both occasionally snap. It is what it is. We always make up and accept that it is part of being a human!

Navigating in a car is a very common reason for couples to argue. Don’t judge him just on this but be aware for other instances

The driver is ultimately responsible, male or female. If he ran a red light or speeded or did an illegal turn, HE would be legally responsible as the driver, not the OP.

You can end a relationship for any reason you like, of course.

Personally I'd also have been annoyed at you for giving wrong directions and then not giving any directions when you'd agreed to navigate.

The drip feed on here was a little irritating too tbh.

I think this is a red flag, 3 months in. It’s how my DH would respond to me now but we’ve got a foundation of 10 years of marriage and nearly 20 together now. If he’d done that 3 months in I would have been rattled. You’re meant to be on best behaviour at that stage!

I’m a bit on the fence, as we’re all only human, and I can imagine snapping at someone towards the end of a long stressful journey.

But then, it can’t have been nice from your pov either.

I do think satnavs save a lot of stress and hassle!

I don't really argue at all with my husband but in the car when someone is supposed to be giving directions is probably the one time we might get snappy. You should have already said surely 'its off at the next junction' so the fact he had to ask and even then you weren't sure is annoying!
He's already apologised anyway, so I honestly wouldn't think any more about it. Maybe just use the sat nav next time!

Wow there you go then! You did a bad job at directing him. He was driving for 12 hours. He swore.. not at you, he didn’t call you a fuck wit! He then said sorry!
You are massively over reacting!

Look, if you insist that this was a gravely disturbing bit of behaviour, then by all means bin him!
You are clearly not of a mind to allow for regretted outbursts (even very minor, non-personal ones) under any circs, so you may as well LTB and rub your hands together in satisfaction.

I find bizarre the fault finding on this thread. In life, love snd directing I will make lots of mistakes and still don’t need to be spoken to rudely. I am similarly tolerant of accidents and errors. It’s how people behave under pressure that hints at how they will do with bigger things. I would be clear that you don’t mutter swear words at me again. I might be mindful that some are used to different styles of communication but I would be watchful.

Well....Im going to have to warn about use of Satnav. I love it as a help but my husband hates to have what he calls some womam telling him directions. Driving with someone is so difficult. OP you do need to improve yoyr navigation skills. Admit it if only to yourself. I often say after a long journey "We are home. Safe and sound" isnt that all that matters ? Then one if us puts the kettle on.

He sounds rather ok actually. If this was the first time he snapped and had the grace to apologise, excellent. Just keep an eye on if it becomes regular... then rethink.

12 hours driving is flipping hard. It's a long slog and I should imagine you were both very tired.

God what a knob!
He actually said that to you?

Im staggered daily at the idiots women marry

Put it behind you…,…..and perhaps buy him a satnav for Valentine’s Day

After Years of being the navigator for my husband I sympathise. Before Sat Nav, the first time on our honeymoon through Germany, we fell out at the roundabout in Dover before the ferry about directions.
He let me struggle with the foreign signs, and town names while trying to find the right page in the map in silence….that’s equally miserable.

After we got to Cologne (with a K) I had quickly learnt German road signs he softened when I stopped him from going down a one way street the wrong way.
He said he was testing me……
We then sat in a bar and planned the route on paper so I knew the junctions well in advance and he had an idea of the direction. We never had problem afterwards.
The invention of SatNav now gives me a little rest, until 5 minutes before the destination and he ‘knows a quicker way!’ I then have to get him out of a mess.

BTW the second we arrived at our destination in Cologne I discovered , not only he knew the route having done it numerous times, but he spoke fluent German!!

Pre plan, have a satnav and I’m sure your journeys will still have the odd blip.

I’m not suggesting she goes no contact with him? Just to watch out how he speaks to her as she said this relationship is very new.

Also, I never understood why drivers have to have navigators…does he not have a phone or a Garmin? I’m a driver myself and I don’t understand putting the responsibility on the other person to also watch the road with you for 12 hours…but that’s just me.

Actually I found that from now on I would prefer not to use Waze or Google Maps as its more effective IMO to memorise 3 or 4 steps ahead and then just focus on road signs. My trouble was tracking us on this real time map I found it quite misleading sometimes, eg sometimes it wasn't perfectly clear what turn off or lane was needed

The bar for men on MN is, as ever, in hell.