Are all fathers creepy?

[Alex122022]

My experience in a different thread (on swimming pool changing room etiquette) has been quite interesting: there seems to be a widely shared opinion that all men are creeps and there are never any innocent explanations for their behaviour.

While I completely agree that a father in a women's changing room - especially when there are older girls - is inappropriate, I can easily see how this could happen without any ulterior motive. Be it simply ignorance or lack of judgement.

I experienced the same on playgrounds: playing hide & seek with my daughter? Mothers approach my DW and tell her that "a perv" is watching the children. Playing with DD - well meaning mothers asking her whether she is ok or needs help.

AIBU to think this is a bit excessive?

It’s not just fathers that seem to receive this treatment. Apparently I am not allowed to bring my autistic 10 year old son into the woman’s changing room With me because he might pose a threat. Never mind the threat that he might come across as a child alone in the male changing room

Indeed. Something very off about all this.

Male rapists and murders and child molesters - they're all someone's son. Someone's brother. Often times someone's husband and someone's dad.

Being 'someone' to someone else doesn't mean a thing. I don't get the ''but i'm just an innocent dad'' angle here.

My husband isn't a creep, in fact he works in a professional capacity with sex offenders and other such gentlemen . He would never enter a women's toilet or changing room unless an emergency eg a fire to rescue someone. Him understanding that highlights that he isn't a creep. There is no need for men in women's spaces, especially those which involve undressing.

Literally never seen anyone be rude to men in a baby group and I have been to loads of groups - different ages, activities, demographic. My DH has taken all three of ours to various groups and never had a negative reaction.

Men can absolutely be hands on dads without being creepy or trampling on the rights of women.

So tired of men's victim complex and faux naivety " ooh why are women wary of me".

What I find annoying is the amazing leeway men get given on here. “You expect them to know what’s needed to be done for a baby or for a house. Write them a list. Set out the outfits” “How can men possibly understand changing room etiquette?” Well,surely the words “WOMEN’S CHANGING ROOM” on the door is a bit of a giveaway! There’s always a lot of talk about men hate on here. I reckon there’s far more men appeasment.

How very sad (the playground bit).

Men / fathers play differently with children than women / mothers do. They encourage more risk-taking and push their kids to be more adventurous than mum’s typically do, which you’ll see at a playground.

Fathers should be encouraged to take their children to them, with or without their partners and women, IMO, should be happy to see them taking an active part in play.

@Alex122022 what “innocent” explanations? Mentally challenged or entitled prick?

Accessible facilities should be being provided for your son, he won't want to be in a state of undress around girls either.

So agree.

Even adults sometimes have mishaps on the toilet.

Can you find some statistics showing a woman being a threat to a man in a male changing room? In anyway?

So funny. It's clear what you are OP.

Toddle off Alex.

I agree they can, but the reaction from some women was and still is ridiculous.
There are many women who are clearly convinced childcare is a female setting.

Comments on another thread from women who are horrified anyone could leave a baby with his own father are depressing

It’s always the bad ones that do it. The good ones don’t argue with women about this. They’ve listen and learnt, whilst growing up and certainly before becoming fathers themselves. They call out men behaving badly and do everything possible to make themselves not appear as a threat to women.

You were told

NO

on the other thread.

You've started a thread about a thread to try and get women to agree with you.

This answer is still NO men should not be allowed in female changing rooms, cos there are naked girls going through puberty in them.

Men who don't get the message that this is creepy behaviour are by defintion creepy.

This is not saying all fathers are creepy. Its saying that men that disregard women saying no and don't think girls should have privacy and dignity which is their legal right under the Equality Act are abusive pricks and that men who think they are entitled to use female changing rooms are creepy fuckers.

I hope this clarifies things further since you didn't get the message first time around.

The "men are threats" statement was not restricted to changing room. Imprecise language is not really my problem.

Are you referring to yourself? I think there have been enough explanations here - so you just need to read.

He's disabled.

Thats what the disabled changing are for.

We might have to make a sign with crayons in capitals to.get across that:
No, not all dads are creepy
Dads who insist on barging into women's changing rooms probably are
Anyone who thinks women are the predatory sex can fuck off.

Gotta love the mansplaining.

Ladies, a man is here, know your place.

Nope, you're problem is being bored and entitled enough to be coming on here to rage bait women so you can cry about it to your little MRA buddies for attention later.

I don't think there's any excuse for men, particularly fathers, to be ignorant about the potential impact of their own behaviour. I don't believe there isn't a man alive who wouldn't think the changing room situation is inappropriate. Its not ignorance, it's entitlement. When men start holding each other to account, maybe then I'll have a bit more sympathy.

Actually on the subject I have seen men and women validate men who don't have access to changing facilities for their children to enter women's toilets with changing facilities without so much a by your leave. Sometimes someone advocates for an 'I'm coming in'. Never once have I read anyone advocate for a knock on the door, an explanation, and a consensus. That's the kind of thing that feeds into that entitlement. Its directly comparable actually.

Learn to read. The statement did not limit the threat to changing rooms but referred to men in general.

Toddle off yourself.

Not all men are bad, but this one is.