friend wants to borrow £1k

[Kahoots]

I have about 25k in savings and working towards buying a house. DH has near enough the same. We want to have £10k as a buffer for emergencies, so we’re looking at 400k houses (hard round here to get something we need for that!)

We have DC4 but no other dependents. We’re ok financially, not great, but we get by. Me and DH have saved for years - I was working 60 hour weeks before DC was born. We both work full time now.

My best friend who I’ve known since a child has asked to borrow some money. She’s switching jobs end of this month but hasn’t worked this month because she’s been poorly. She has just bought a car and is away next week on holiday. she said she’s got £500 to last her til February payday.

I thought she was going to ask to borrow a couple of hundred which DH was ok with. She’s just asked for £1000.

aibu to think this is quite a lot? Theoretically, I do have it to give. But I have no idea when I’ll get it back and tbh I feel pissed off that she’s just bought a new car and holiday and I’ve got to help her with essentials :(

aibu?

You haven't got to help her. I'd say I haven't got it

Sorry, it’s a bit of a tough month after Christmas, it’s not easy to spare that much at the moment.

I would not be inclined to lend her any money given the context.

Definitely don’t lend it, never a good idea. Her choice to buy a car and go on holiday.

You, your husband and your kids need every penny of that money to put a roof over your heads.

She will have to manage and go without.

Don’t- it never ends well.

Perhaps offer to do a food shop or two instead, if you feel an outright no is too harsh given your friendship - only you can judge that. Although be prepared to have that thrown back in your face.

Say no. She had the option to not just buy a car and book holidays.
I imagine she could get a credit card. If she can’t get a credit card, you’re not going to be getting your £1k back!

Just say no, you don’t have it to spare. She can use a credit card or ask someone else.

It would be a no from me unless I was rich enough to gift it. You are not.

remember - never a borrower nor a lender be.

You don’t have to help her! You can tell her your money is in a savings account you can’t access easily.

No no no no no no no

just don’t. You will lose your money and your friend

Just seen that she has bought a car - is that an essential E.g for work?
and the holiday - when did she book and pay for that? If it was last year then fair enough but if recently then that’s a red flag and don’t agree to lend money

Surely she could use an overdraft or credit card. Should have waited to go on hols. That said I would lend to my best friend.

No. Say you cannot as you have expenses coming up! Total cheek in my view.

No and stop telling people how much savings you have!

You don't have to help her. She can put it on a credit card just like everyone else.

And if she's maxed out her credit card she shouldn't have booked a holiday. It's her problem, not yours.

It’s a no from me.
Highly likely to go pear shaped.

Your money's tied up in an interest paying account and can't be accessed.As others have said offer to do a shop for her if necessary.

"Never lend money you're not prepared to lose."

Honestly I wouldn't- it's not as if she's on the breadline. £1000 she could put on a 0% credit card and pay back herself rather than paying you back - unless her credit rating is so low she can't get one, in which case what are the chances she will pay you back?

If you're planning on buying soon I'd also be wary of how random payments would look on your bank statements when you apply for a mortgage. I think "sorry I wish I could but we're scraping together every single penny at the moment to try and get a house" is a pretty good excuse - tbh I'd be tempted to add a not-so-subtle "I'm so jealous of your new car, and who knows when we'll be able to go on holiday again!"

What have you got to gain from lending it to her? Nothing - if she's a good friend she will understand if you don't, and if she reacts badly she was never a good friend in the first place.

What have you got to lose? £1000 plus interest you're not getting, and awkwardness in a friendship when you keep asking her for it back, and aggro in your relationship with DH as he blames you and keeps nagging you to ask her....

I agree with PP don't discuss finances

As everyone always says on MN - only lend money you are prepared to lose, and in that case, just make it a gift. All this stuff about how much you have in savings is entirely irrelevant. Just politely say that you aren’t able to lend her the money and that you wouldn’t want money to come between you anyway.

She is my best friend. I feel bad.

Car was for new job.

I just feel like I could lend it her but my senses are saying no? I don’t know how she’d plan to pay it back.

When she asked me I thought it was going to be a couple of hundred at the most. I could lend that from my current account. But 1k would have to come from savings

Yeah, good idea about the food shop or offer to have her round for a meal a couple of times. She'll be fine. She's just taking advantage it's cheeky really.

Does your friend know you have savings ?
She really shouldn’t that’s your private business.
No way would I be lending anyone 1K , especially someone that’s going on holiday .

So Nb thing doesn’t ring true. She hasn’t worked - what about sick pay? You’re still entitled to that even if you’re leaving.

She’s going on holiday. Has she got spending money saved? If so, she can use that (and not go on holiday).

As others have said, she dan use a credit card.,