Aibu for feeling upset tonight at DH and DB for being a pair of unhelpful gits?

[Chinsupmeloves]

Today, I was out at work, did the shopping, while DH as usual wfh. I took the kids round to DB's after dinner and they had a great time. Came home about 9pm and I had forgotten my handbag amidst all the bags I was carrying plus walking our dog.

At this point I was tired, was annoyed at myself so asked if DB would walk half way to meet me and bring it. Would also have been nice if DH had offered to meet half way but wasn't expecting it. It's literally 10 mins and that little act of kindness would have meant a lot. But nope, my fault, neither could be bothered, so I went out again in the dark alone (not that this bothers me) to get my bag.

Just felt so disappointed in both of them. DH has had the whole day wfh (not a stressful one) and evening to himself and DB is between jobs. I, on the other hand, left the house at 7am, barely got a break at work, then went back out again with DC and eventually wanted to relax.

Would it really have been that much for them to leave the house they had been in all day and night to help me out?

Yes it's a nice thing to do but he doesn't have to do it. He probably equally doesn't want to get up and dressed and do a 20minute walk in the dark after a full day's work. He hasn't actually been sat on his arse all day and OP was only at her brothers having a takeaway.

It's not a task that partners have to do for their other half. If he doesn't want to do it then I think that's reasonable. It doesn't make him a selfish wanker

There maybe a pattern that makes him selfish, but I don't think in itself it's something that your husband needs to do for you. I think he has as much right to not want to do the walk as OP

Thanks for all the responses, a lot to think about!
I guess because I was really tired and grumpy, annoyed at myself, a bit of kindness would've lifted me up.

I wouldn't generally expect anyone to do sth I can do myself so an occasion like this is extremely rare.

I think a resentment has been building up for a while and it's clearly come out on this occasion. I know I'm wrong and awful to think it but DH wfh has been, unreasonably I know, annoying me! I started to feel resentful I was up and out early, often taking the DC to nursery or breakfast clubs when they were younger, while he's always IN! I have 2 jobs, one involves nights and weekends sometimes, so I feel I never get any time to myself at home, on my own. The weekdays i have at home, he's working in kitchen, I have to be aware of when he's having meetings. He does go upstairs sometimes but is then up and down all day making cuppa after cuppa anyway.

Menopausal, looking to change main job, just not been feeling on top of the world and for some reason I've been more desperate to be alone, not have to talk to anyone or do anything at all!

My own issues to sort out I know, sorry, felt the need to add some more background. Time to get a grip and make changes to stop feeling so overwhelmed by life.

Thank you, all advice has been appreciated. Xxx

He’d been working, you’d been socialising. I’d have just gone back and got the bag without a drama 🙄

With that update I wish you the very best of luck, @Chinsupmeloves . Sometimes it all just builds up and a tiny thing becomes more than we can bear.
Hang in there

I had been working as well, also did the shopping, made a quick dinner, then took kids back out. Yes it was socialising but also looking after them with their relentless loud excitement. DH had had a quiet day wfh, a slow work day, had time for a workout in shed gym, then bottle of wine on sofa while I was out.

Also just something I've noticed with many who wfh then get comfortable at home after work, the idea of actually leaving the house is just too unbearable. Yes, this something I've noticed and find annoying... you're out anyway, can you pick up some stuff, post this etc. Why don't those who wfh just get up and go out to do it instead asking partner on way home from work to? Being on your feet all day, in a stressful job, to stop off, shop, stand in queues, when all you want to do on a friday is go home, knowing you're taking DC out after an hour of being home, eat, change then go back out??? Xxx

Thank you, I've literally just cried at your kind response! I need help i know. Thank you. Xxx

Honestly, I've been there and it's shite. Sometimes the real problem is not the trigger that gets you all upset.

Keep putting one foot in front of another. I promise you it gets better.

Again thanks and will it? Feeling so overwhelmed by everything, need to make my list to start. Feel a bit stupid to have posted on a forum, think I felt desperate. Sadly my life long confidante has gone, in deep grief, guess I'm struggling. Thank you for your kindness. Xxx