Aibu for feeling upset tonight at DH and DB for being a pair of unhelpful gits?

[Chinsupmeloves]

Today, I was out at work, did the shopping, while DH as usual wfh. I took the kids round to DB's after dinner and they had a great time. Came home about 9pm and I had forgotten my handbag amidst all the bags I was carrying plus walking our dog.

At this point I was tired, was annoyed at myself so asked if DB would walk half way to meet me and bring it. Would also have been nice if DH had offered to meet half way but wasn't expecting it. It's literally 10 mins and that little act of kindness would have meant a lot. But nope, my fault, neither could be bothered, so I went out again in the dark alone (not that this bothers me) to get my bag.

Just felt so disappointed in both of them. DH has had the whole day wfh (not a stressful one) and evening to himself and DB is between jobs. I, on the other hand, left the house at 7am, barely got a break at work, then went back out again with DC and eventually wanted to relax.

Would it really have been that much for them to leave the house they had been in all day and night to help me out?

That's fair enough but I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with someone like you as I value those qualities in a person. From the sounds of it the op does too and is disappointed that her husband isn't displaying them

Im totally baffled as to eny you think your OH or DB should have walked instead of you? Because they are men? Because they happen to work from home?

Of course it is but it's different to my job. I leave the house at 7.30am while he and DC are still in bed. They get dressed with clothes I've laid out washed and ironed. Meanwhile he logs on, works hard I know, but sat in our nice warm house drinking copious amounts of tea, freedom to go amd have a pee anytime

What has this got to do with it?

If it was a man working long hours who'd left their phone at their parents was to expect his SAH wife to put clothes on and get out in the dark to retrieve it because she was free to pee at home and make herself drinks on the go, would that be reasonable.

Sorry OP but you come across as a madam to me.

This. We would both have rolled our eyes / laughed at my jelly brains and he’d have gone out, straight away, without being asked, let alone being told.

I don’t like the sound of your dh. Especially his sarky “equality” comment.

Mine too. Never in a million years would he have sat there while I went out in the dark. He’d also have come pick me up in the first place or at least asked if I wanted him to.

Men are safer walking in the dark for starters….

I wouldn’t have gone and got it nor would I have expected my DH to. I would have gone and got it in the morning.

Men are safer walking in the dark for starters….
Oh please...they should have walked instead because of the 1 chance in a million that OP could have been attacked? Sounds like this wasn't a concern for OP when she did walk back at 9pm in the first place...

OP had already happily walked home alone with her kids in the dark.

It always amazes me how women love to use their supposed vulnerability to get men to do what they don't want to....when it suits them! Even when the OP states clearly that walking in the dark doesn't bother them but they were just...tired!

What is so “wow” about this post? I completely agree with what was written - no way would my DH leave me to walk in the dark regardless of whether I felt ok about it or not. Mine would also have gone to get it instead of me.

Mine would also have gone to get it instead of me
Why? Would you go if it was your 15yo son who left his bag at his friend?

He said"Yeah, equality" ???

What an absolute dickhead. And apart from this one instance, he's usually lovely and helpful and does more than his share of the household chores?

Quite. I walk to the gym in the dark, I walk home in the dark, I have no problem walking in the dark. But if my DP saw I was tired / knew I’d had a long day, he’d go and get My bag for me. Nothing to do with sex. But because he’s kind and we do lots of little favours for each other. In fact he’s far kinder than me and does so much for me.

Third thread I’ve read in the last hour which is based around a lazy cunt of a male partner

in that case, meh. it's on you.

firstly for not checking you had your bag and secondly for expecting someone to read your mind.

WFH isn't dossing around all day with your feet up reading bonbons. Am guessing that your DH also did both school runs?

In future, check, and if you do forget something like this again use your words to ask your DH or suck up your mistake.

Why not get your shopping delivered, one less stress

I did that after lol 😆

I can see why you'd be annoyed but reading between the lines it sounds like you don't get much un-asked for kindness. Resentment doesn't spring out of nowhere.

Sorry but I'd hate to be married to someone like your DH!

I'm glad you're happy with him but I'm also glad we're all different.

also, OP, if your DCs are big enough to get themselves dressed they are big enough to sort out their own uniforms for the next day.

Just because you (seem to think you) do more family "chores" is no reason to huff and puff at your own daft actions and expect your DH to read your mind.

FWIW in your shoes I'd have gone back to get it, but my DH would probably have offered off his own bat.

Cycle, it would take 5 mins

But if my DP saw I was tired / knew I’d had a long day, he’d go and get My bag for me
Would you consider that THEY too might be knackered and not in the mood to go out again?

For all those saying he should have gone out. What if you were watching TV at 9pm, comfortable on the sofa, starting to feel sleepy. Would you get up if your teenager expected you to because they left their bag at their friends? What if your mum called and ask you to go to the shop 10mns walk away because she has a slight headache and needs paracetamol. Or your elderly neighbour who needs a special ingredient that you don't have at home?

I can't imagine anyone doing the above. In each instance, the likelihood would be a thread on here how people really take the piss with their selfishness and entitlement. So why are a number of posters e pect their husband to do it...just because they are a poor feeble forgetful woman and their husband should be there to do as they want and say?

I'd have booked an Uber to pick the bag up and bring it to me. If nobody was going to meet half way. But they do sound most unhelpful and lazy.

Rurning it around: you've worked all week, comfy on the sofa on friday night, enjoying some orace and quiet. Your OH comes home after 9pm after a few drinks from work in a taxi.

Thet realise they left their laptop at work and intend to do some work over the weekend. They say 'oh no, I left my laptop in my office and can't drive after a few drinks.....' and then get pissed of and moody because their wives didn't offer to hop in her car to retrieve the laptop 15 minutes drive away....

I really think some women are so entitled, they realky live in kookoo land!

Oh and your OH tell strangers the ne t day that you're a lazy git for not having gone to pick up his laptop 😅