Was your highly verbal toddler advanced

[OneOliveKoala]

My daughter is 35 months and a very advanced early talker. She uses complex, logical sentences (e.g. “I don’t like that either, therefore I need to use this”), narrates her play, gives voices to characters, and builds imaginative stories with toys.

She also has a deep emotional range. She can feel sadness very deeply, and in new or stimulating environments she can feel excited and slightly overwhelmed at the same time — but she regulates well. She doesn’t have anger or frustration issues, doesn’t have frequent meltdowns, and can usually express what she’s feeling with words.

Other things about her:

• Strong imaginative and symbolic play (voices, storylines, role-play)
• Very observant — notices sounds, changes, and details
• Can follow rules, wait her turn, and ask for help when she needs it
• Good eater, good sleeper
• Self-regulates well for her age overall

What confuses me is seeing so many posts on Reddit where people say “my toddler was very verbal and later diagnosed with ADHD” — even when the child doesn’t seem to meet ADHD criteria (good attention for play, able to regulate, socially engaged, not impulsive across settings).

From what I understand, being highly verbal, imaginative, emotionally deep, and observant can still fall completely within neurotypical development, especially when the child can self-regulate, focus in play, sleep and eat well, and function across environments.

Curious if others have had similarly verbal, emotionally intense toddlers who were simply… bright and sensitive

any similar child to mine

Are you asking to be reassured that your child doesn’t have ADHD?

I was like this as a child. I have VHS tape evidence of me on my second birthday in the 1980s chatting like I’m 5 years older. Was toilet trained at 18 months during the day and was just all round bright. I’ve turned out to be a normal adult 😂😂

My youngest was very advanced. At his two year old health screening I was told he had speech as of a 6/7 year old.

He is 6 now. Struggling at school. Good at maths, natural curiosity about the world but struggles to read and with handwriting. I think he could possibly have ADHD.

Mine were both very articulate at 3, also good at numbers, managed their emotions reasonably ok (definitely some tantrums at home!).

At mid primary age they are the same, and doing well across the board.

Remember the people who post about their children online are more likely to be the ones who are worried. Many parents aren't thinking about it because it isn't an issue.

If you see no signs of ADHD, simplest explanation is she doesn't have ADHD!

My eldest was highly verbal as a toddler, she was pretty emotional. Actually very hard work as a 3 year old. She was a rubbish sleeper and eater though. Shes now 10 and is pretty clever, seems to pick up new learning very quickly. Has a reading age of a good 3 years older than she is. She's calmed down a lot. Still a rubbish sleeper and eater though!

Mine was like this. Full eloquent sentances at 2, never any meltdowns, just a joy to be around. He's now 6 and has just begun the pathway towards adhd assessment. Fwiw hes still a joy to be around, just one that still talks non stop and can get distracted midway through getting dressed about 20 times 😁

It can be a feature of autism but some children are just very advanced with language and talking. I remember following an influencer once with a child a similar age to mine and her child was having animated discussion about ‘who is your favourite character in this book’ while mine was still at the ‘UHHH!’ stage.

There is often a levelling off point though. Bright and clever children stay that way but a two year old with language skills of a four year old doesn’t equate a four year old with language skills of an eight year old. The other thing to be aware of is no matter how sophisticated their language is, they are only two / three - try not to treat them as older

My DN was like this, turned in to a lovely but not particularly bright adult.

Former teacher here.

All children develop differently and have different personalities, she may be slightly advanced now but in 6 months to year or so her peers will catch up and she will no longer be advanced.

Thanks to social media, people see one video of a completely normal trait that a ADHD or Autistic person can also do and everyone jumps too “Well I must have ADHD cause sometimes I walk into a room and forget what I was looking for”
A parent may go online and state their child has ADHD but that doesn’t mean it was actually diagnosed by a professional and not TikTok

Did was an early talker and using complex language much like you describe, in fact sounds very similar to your description. She is now 16, academically able and should get high grades in her GCSE's but not in the exceptionally gifted range. She has good friends and has made good friend choices, we can have great debates around news or beliefs, she is opinionated, is untidy and disorganised, stroppy and argumentative and particularly affected by her hormones. She still talks a lot. She shows no signs of a neuro diversity.

Judging by the way you write in your post, I would say she is potentially picking it up her speaking style from you. Of course, she would have to be able to process/be developed to a certain level to do that.

I'm not saying this is the case for you, but my now adult DD was the same as a toddler. In the end we got a 2for1 autism diagnosis - she is neurodivergent and so am I.

My DD had super advanced language skills as a toddler - I'm not going to give ages/examples because, frankly, you'll think I'm delusional.

She's an adult now and was bright throughout school/uni and has done ok but not genius level or anything - a little above average but well within normal ranges.

She has ADHD (diagnosed) and I suspect she's mildly autistic too. But no-one call tell you if that's the case for your DC too.

Your child sounds like me as a child. I was talking in sentences and walking before I was one. Reading by two. I was also relatively emotionally intelligent. I do have ADHD and autism, but do I think those are what made me a gifted child? I have no idea. It probably contributed to my hyperfocus on ancient Egypt but beyond that, who knows. She may be ND, she may not. If she is ND she’s clearly high functioning so why not just cross that bridge if and when you come to it?

mine was similar and has done well easily academically but not super well - to be honest we are more about enjoyment and interests and he has much of both in what he does. What he has are amazing friends and relationships as he is still joyful and emotionally regulates so well.

Yes. And she continued to be high performing, interest in role play and very aware of emotions and highly empathetic.

Diagnosed with autism at age 10.
Mainly based around rigidity of thought and processes so it's actually the "able to follow rules" line which pings for me. She also, as she got older, started to become more aware of her personal space.

She is more than able (at the minute) to function in society without added intervention beyond just being self aware of her own needs and taking time out where she needs it.

She is like 99% of every lawyer or accountant I've met and worked with.

The range of normal development for preschoolers is very wide. Dd 1 was a very bright early talking/walking toddler, well above age related milestones for talking, walking at 11 months, noticeably bright toddler. She did well in school on the higher end but not exceptional, did well at GCSEs, and doing well at A-levels, but not top grades, still high end of average. Late diagnosed dyslexia and possibly adhd, but we are a neurospicy family, these things run in families.

DS was much later to develop and is summer born, although he’s still average ability he’s always been immature for his cohort. His dyslexia and ADHD are more obvious.

Yes, “gifted”…and autistic

Two of my daughters had precocious speech and language development. Both remained academically very able throughout their education and got Firsts at university, but neither is entirely neurotypical (their father is autistic, as is a sibling) and both had some rocky years in adolescence.

Going back further, I also spoke early, as did one of my sisters, but we were unremarkable clever girls rather than being outstanding at school and our other sister, whose speech development was more conventional and who had to put in a bit of effort in the early years, eventually had the best school leaving results of all of us. There's no reason to suspect any of us of being neurodivergent.

My brother was like this, very articulate toddler, was very ahead at primary school - went onto an academic secondary and then Oxford where he was more average for those settings

My dd was very advanced at this age. She's an adult now and we suspect she's autistic but have no formal diagnosis.

I think with hindsight I can now see that the vast majority of "gifted" children are neurodivergent.

Mine sounded similar. She was talking in 3-4 word sentences at 18 months, engaged in small-world imaginative play from the same age (with whatever she had to hand, even using her cutlery at dinner!), was very musically in-tune, very astute.

She is now 9.5 and is still very enigmatic, very imaginative and expressive. Still loves small-world play. Good reader from an early age and still very musical. However she is AuDHD, struggles with writing and spelling (her brain is too fast for her hand), picks up mathematical concepts easily, but struggles with the wordy problem-solving, struggles immensely with emotional literacy and regulation. Still Cannot Stop Talking.

Exceptionally advanced language and imaginative play as a toddler. Diagnosed autistic and ADHD.

Second child similar awaiting assessment

Mine was. She was very very verbal, very clever and quick, read whole books at four. No meltdowns or tantrums, very equable temperament, sunny natured.

Diagnosed AuDHD as an adult.

DS was like this. He was always bright but I wouldn’t say academically advanced. No ADHD or ASD although his brother has so sometimes I see small traits.