Was your highly verbal toddler advanced

[OneOliveKoala]

My daughter is 35 months and a very advanced early talker. She uses complex, logical sentences (e.g. “I don’t like that either, therefore I need to use this”), narrates her play, gives voices to characters, and builds imaginative stories with toys.

She also has a deep emotional range. She can feel sadness very deeply, and in new or stimulating environments she can feel excited and slightly overwhelmed at the same time — but she regulates well. She doesn’t have anger or frustration issues, doesn’t have frequent meltdowns, and can usually express what she’s feeling with words.

Other things about her:

• Strong imaginative and symbolic play (voices, storylines, role-play)
• Very observant — notices sounds, changes, and details
• Can follow rules, wait her turn, and ask for help when she needs it
• Good eater, good sleeper
• Self-regulates well for her age overall

What confuses me is seeing so many posts on Reddit where people say “my toddler was very verbal and later diagnosed with ADHD” — even when the child doesn’t seem to meet ADHD criteria (good attention for play, able to regulate, socially engaged, not impulsive across settings).

From what I understand, being highly verbal, imaginative, emotionally deep, and observant can still fall completely within neurotypical development, especially when the child can self-regulate, focus in play, sleep and eat well, and function across environments.

Curious if others have had similarly verbal, emotionally intense toddlers who were simply… bright and sensitive

any similar child to mine

“Highly verbal” has to exact definition and children can be “highly verbal” for so many reasons. As an Early Years teacher I’ve encountered:

Child with ASD who also used EAL and had mostly learned English by reading fairy tales (himself!) so came across as highly intelligent due to his slightly archaic and flowery language. He could make very well reasoned arguments. His meltdowns sounded like arguing as he would just KEEP talking rather than screaming or anything else. Also hyperlexic.

Child with PDA, the most articulate child I’ve ever met. Could have the absolute best discussions about stories are we read together. Very insightful into emotions in books. His meltdowns could go to screaming, but he also did an explosion of speaking when getting upset. Had no concrete examples of hyperlexia, but I could see that they might have emerged about a year after I knew him.

Child with extreme anxiety, who had been coached through these feelings and therefore had a very high emotional vocabulary. Also spoke about his interests extremely eloquently. Did not have meltdowns. No hyperlexia.

And a good number of children without diagnoses that have been read to, played with, engaged with and spend a lot of time speaking with adults! “Highly verbal” is an impression someone gets and unless accompanied by other traits is nothing to worry about alone. Equally, being “highly verbal” doesn’t mean a child won’t need further support.

My 5 year old DD was slow to learn to talk and struggled with complete sentences, even when she started school. She is very bright, no issues at school with school work and is nearing the top of her class for reading and maths. She’s on the pathway for ADHD and ASD diagnosis. So no, I don’t think advanced speech is a good indicator as there is such a range both in ND and NT children.

Me and one of my siblings were advanced in language skills. Sibling is very clever, went to a Russel group University and has been successful in their chosen career. Sadly the distribution of brains did not come to me and I am of distinctly average intelligence. I am probably adhd, not diagnosed, but my kids are. I don't believe that my sibling is neurodivergent in any way.

My son was exactly like this.

He’s now 11 and is still very articulate very emotionally aware. However, he does have issues with focus and distraction at times and can zone out (he’s been doing this since he was young). We haven’t had him assessed for ADHD as he’s coping ok at school and is progressing well. Top 30% so not exceptional but above average.

His Dad does have ADHD so wouldn’t surprise me if he does too tbh.

I think a lot of this is nurture rather than nature.

Both my children had very advanced language skills from very young. I think my eldest was because we didn’t “babify” her ever. It didn’t occur to us to put CBeebies on or play nursery rhyme songs in the car or anything like that. She listened to radio 4 in the car! We spoke to her like an adult. She was the first grandchild on both sides of the family so she was surrounded by adults. We were just young and naive and didn’t know what we were doing, it wasn’t by design.

Then our second came along and he was influenced by his older sister, talking and behaving in a certain way.

They are both very bright NT teenagers, but I think that the early language development was due to social factors rather than intellect.

DD1 was, and mainly is as your describe your child. Highly able academically, huge vocabulary, but from about 7 (as the demands increased both academically and socially) , we have seen her start to struggle with focus, emotional control (feels everything very deeply, controls her emotions at school but explodes at home from effort of trying to maintain focus and emotions at school) and we are querying ADHD, on long wait list for assessment. I'm very much the same, and looking back I probably have ADHD, although never diagnosed.

This is no way means your child will have ADHD, just sharing my experience

My DD was similar. You could have a proper conversation with her at 18 months which particularly as she was very small for her age used to give people a bit of a shock. She grew into a brighter than average but not exceptional adult. She still talks a lot though!
There is a huge range of normal OP. Unless you have any other concerns about your DC I wouldn't dwell on it.

My DS13 was very advanced with everything as a child, my DD17 was slow to talk and communicate with us in sentences, but got there in the end. She was very fast at walking (9 months) and both could do building blocks. Sometimes using tins from the cupboard.
DD is ASD
DS us AuDHD

What I will say though it is neuro development - my DD didn’t show proper signs til year 5 at school, and DS was quicker, but the ADHD was recognisable earlier.
with regard to your child, firstly don’t worry, children just learn things, doesn’t mean they’ll be ND, speak to the school when they start if you’re worried still then

I was a very early talker, my Mam loves retelling the tale of taking me to my 18 month check and just as the HV came in to the waiting room to call us in I noticed a big old coat rack in the corner and asked "is that where they hang their coats?", the HV then said she didn't need to do the 10 word check 😂

One of my kids was very early too, I remember her at 12 months old shouting our dog saying "X come in!" Or "X go outside!" and she was saying 7 or 8 word sentences by 14 months. She's 13 now and broadly average at school although she is very highly motivated in her hobbies and has to be busy all the time.

ETA she was a very early walker too, took her first steps before 9 months. I don't think she has ADHD but it is possible, she does fit quite a lot of the criteria but it doesn't seem to negatively affect her.

My younger DD was an early talker. I remember nursery commenting about it. She is bright but not “gifted”. Her language skills are very strong, she is fluent in two foreign languages and has a first class degree in one of them. She is neurotypical as far as I know.

One of my dd’s was like this. Turned out to be a lovely but average adult.

My 9yr old who has a reading age of a 13yr old, super early articulate talker, wonderful, funny and emotionally intelligent - def ASD and we are pursuing diagnosis.

Full sentences at 18 months, clear and accurate speech, has never shut up since - diagnosed at 13 with autism (it's been glaringly obvious for years but waiting lists) and has gradually dropped back from being a high flier in early years of primary school to being middley-upper sets in secondary as her social life's taken priority. She's happy and confident though which matters more to me than academic pressure cooking.

Also queries over ADHD but just on the scoring threshold of screening tools so we've left that for now.

I think that how advanced children are with speech is often a function of their family.
If you are spending a lot of time with an adult who talks to you like a person, not a baby and uses good complex but age appropriate language, then you will (often) speak sooner and have more complex vocabulary etc.

I have 3 kids. All advanced early talkers. All high achievers.
no. 2 is probably ADHD, but has found their own coping mechanisms.
no. 3 is autistic. Diagnosed aged 16 and told they are probably ADHD as well. She would have been described very like your dd when small, the things she struggles with became more and more apparent as she got older, her key ones are friendships and transistion /change. Neither of those were really an issue when she was 3 years old, mostly with me, and still doing parallel play.

She is intensely observant, loves rules and routines, always been a good eater and sleeper until teenage and now she struggles with foods.

At 3 I would not have seen any of the flags, despite having autism in the family. By 7/8 I was aware there were issues around transition and friendships. Year 5 was a dreadful year and we began to wonder if there was something else we hadn't seen. Then she had a great teacher in year 6 and things settled. She fell apart at secondary, and then looking back I could see all the signs.

Your dd sounds lovely, she is probably neurotypical, because statistically that is more likely, but what you are describing is not the opposite of ADHD, it is just an articulate 3 year old.

My eldest was speaking in simple sentences at 15mo. It was weirdly comical - other parents at playgroups would give me shocked looks and ask how old the freaky talking baby was. At 18 she's (as far as anyone is) neurotypical. She's bright, but just your regular top table bright as opposed to anything stellar. However she has always had a thing about words, doing especially well in English literature and MFL, and is now studying MFL and linguistics at university.

I’d stay away from Reddit and enjoy your daughter.

It's definitely a flag of some sort for neurodiversity, but that doesn't make it definite, nor does it make it a negative.
She sounds brilliant and clever

My 3.5 year old is like this, but I can’t see any ADHD or autism traits in her at all. She’s extremely articulate and emotionally aware but also so headstrong and confident. She will chat to absolutely anybody. She has always spent a lot of time with adults and has never watched kids TV which I think helps. I assume I’ll just see how she gets on when she moves into reception and get her tested if I need to.

This was me as a child! As an adult I would say I am a little "eccentric" but probably not neurodiverse. I was very academic and went to a top university. My daughter is 21 months and very similar already. Again, I don't suspect any neurodiversity. Some kids are just like this!

2 of mine were like this- aged 3 one said, “I used to not like olives” and would use random French phrases in appropriate context (vite vite maman! returning to our seats at the ballet).
Both diagnosed ADHD in their early 20s, both successful professionally albeit in famously neurodivergent friendly industry.

That is not necessarily true, particularly for a girl. Girls tend to present very differently to boys but we generally only hear about the characteristics of ADHD typically seen in boys. Some people with ADHD, particularly girls and women, are more likely to present with high-achieving ADHD where they can hyperfocus on some areas of their life. Girls/women are also much more likely to mask, particularly if they have higher intelligence.

DD (aged 25 now) has not had an official ADHD diagnosis but she has been told by a medical consultant she was seeing for a different issue that he was pretty confident she has it. He would be familiar with it as the other condition she has frequently presents with ADHD.

She was never hyper, achieved very well at school and university. Never a word of criticism from any of her teachers in school. They were always full of praise for her, both in terms of conduct and academics. Probably academically gifted based on tests but we never did the full test. Achieved First class honours every year in her medical degree and is now working as a young doctor where she uses various compensatory mechanisms to help. However, she is the most scatty, disorganised person in other areas of her life and I really wish sh would figure out the compensatory mechanisms to help as dh and I still swoop in to rescue every so often.

She talked early (was stringing 7 or 8 words together in sentences at 15 months), very imaginative play from a young age, very observant (I couldn't breastfeed her in public after about 3 months and she just wanted to look at everything going on), very good at following rules, self-regulation etc.

However, that doesn't mean the op's dd has ADHD. Her dd sounds wonderful and may just be advanced for her age.

Skills are all over the place because children develop at different paces. One of my DD’s were non verbal at 3, the other only just yet they have 3 degrees between them and one is doing one of those jobs cited as in “it’s not x” to indicate a very clever difficult occupation. And she has ADHD, her dsis is autistic and both have dyslexia! Being able to talk well at 3 could mean they are going to be super advanced academically or it might not. Enjoy your child being a child, read to them lots, talk to them a lot eg family mealtimes, in the car etc avoid screens (you as well) and you will have a child who meets their full potential whatever that may mean

My DS was like this and is now doing very well at grammar school. Saying that, he is quiet and sensitive in a way that is probably not usual for 13 year old's, and does struggle with organization. I haven't pursued an Autism or ADHD assessment as he's doing fine in school, and certainly doesn't have the struggles his autistic sister has. Saying that, from what I've seen of his friends, grammar school is full of the quiet, quirky, bright boys who may be somewhere on the spectrum.

My dd was like this. Talked early and well. Chattered away all the time.

Later diagnosed adhd

Check out the potential plus charity website for gifted kids