Was your highly verbal toddler advanced

[OneOliveKoala]

My daughter is 35 months and a very advanced early talker. She uses complex, logical sentences (e.g. “I don’t like that either, therefore I need to use this”), narrates her play, gives voices to characters, and builds imaginative stories with toys.

She also has a deep emotional range. She can feel sadness very deeply, and in new or stimulating environments she can feel excited and slightly overwhelmed at the same time — but she regulates well. She doesn’t have anger or frustration issues, doesn’t have frequent meltdowns, and can usually express what she’s feeling with words.

Other things about her:

• Strong imaginative and symbolic play (voices, storylines, role-play)
• Very observant — notices sounds, changes, and details
• Can follow rules, wait her turn, and ask for help when she needs it
• Good eater, good sleeper
• Self-regulates well for her age overall

What confuses me is seeing so many posts on Reddit where people say “my toddler was very verbal and later diagnosed with ADHD” — even when the child doesn’t seem to meet ADHD criteria (good attention for play, able to regulate, socially engaged, not impulsive across settings).

From what I understand, being highly verbal, imaginative, emotionally deep, and observant can still fall completely within neurotypical development, especially when the child can self-regulate, focus in play, sleep and eat well, and function across environments.

Curious if others have had similarly verbal, emotionally intense toddlers who were simply… bright and sensitive

any similar child to mine

My son was the same - he was a very very early talker and used to get annoyed with the other babies in baby room at nursery because they were ‘ignoring him’ aka couldn’t talk 😂 he is actually on the ADHD pathway though so unfortunately that’s probably not much help!

She was and then aged 10 she was diagnosed autistic 😅 - missed for so long because she's so verbal and intelligent

Yes - also had autism and adhd

Because people associate autism and adhd with learning disabilities which they don’t have and most of the entrepreneurs have autism and or ADHD and so did Einstein etc

Both mine were advanced in language and one stayed steadily very academic (now at top uni doing maths), the other more up and down but now excelling. Both turned out to be neurodiverse.

Your child sounds exactly like my son at the same age. We just thought he was quirky and that was one of his strengths.

He’s 7 now and completely NT, still has excellent verbal skills and now an advanced reader. Writing skills lag way behind, so much so that he had a recent educational psychology assessment for dysgraphia…

Turns out he has exceptional high learning potential which is the new name for highly gifted. We were so shocked and school couldn’t believe it as he doesn’t show it in produced work.

Apparently, his verbal reasoning and complex verbal sentence structure at an early age were always a clue.

Now we just need to work out how to unlock the potential.

Enjoy your conversations with your little one!

My very verbal toddler is NT but didn’t have many of the other things on your list like being very emotional and easily overwhelmed. She ended up with top grades at A-level.

My other child had ADHD and meets some of the other points on your list. His speech development was typical.

I’m not saying that your child is ND but anecdotally I’ve heard stories where verbally advanced kids ended up being diagnosed with Asd because their development started to diverge from their NT peers.

Hi OP. 3 out of 4 of my girls were very good talkers. My second was using full sentences such as ' I want to go to the shops' at just over 1. It was often pointed out by friends and family that I had 'talkers and not walkers' (they all took ages to walk but had great language skill). No signs of ADHD or any other barriers to learning as yet and they are all at primary/secondary. My second has excelled perhaps a tad more in school and has a reading age 3 years above her actual age but overall they are all doing well.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD and I didn't say my first word until 42 months.

Just because things are sometimes linked it doesn't mean every child with X is Y. Just enjoy your child and support them when problems appear, if they ever do.

Was it the rigidity that made you seek a diagnosis?

My ds was like this. He is still very bright and advsnced in many ways, struggles with other things. He has Adhd and is autistic.

I’d say my older daughter was like that at the same age. She was always top of the class at primary school, despite having a summer birthday and being one of the youngest.

Now in her twenties, she is still very bright (went to Oxford) and still very sensitive.

I have never had any reason to think that she is not neurotypical.

I was like this too. All went well until my teens when the MH problems started.

She consistently demonstrates strong social skills. She engages in cooperative and associative play with her peers, sharing toys and taking turns, such as throwing a ball back and forth. She listens attentively when given instructions and rarely resists or argues. She can wait patiently in line and interact appropriately with other children. She does not show rigidity in her routines and transitions very smoothly.

The only minor observation is that during restaurant outings—which are infrequent—she may want to explore after sitting for about 40–45 minutes. However, a professional has indicated that this is not unusual and is not considered a concern. Overall, she has always been a polite toddler, rarely exhibiting tantrums or meltdowns, which has been consistently noted by others. I can tell she is somewhat different from other children, though it is difficult to specify exactly how.

My main concern is her experience at school. I worry about the possibility of labels, as I know many children with neurodivergence can do very well academically, but I fear that teachers might assume she cannot cope and suggest homeschooling. This would be challenging for our family, as I work full-time. I am also aware that pursuing a formal diagnosis in the UK can be difficult, both financially and logistically, and I have read that support for high-functioning children may be reduced due to budget constraints.

another thing is that people notice how strongly empathetic she is

No - for my youngest they started developing a lot of anxiety when they started school. Two years on the CAMHS waiting list and by the time they were seen at age 7 there were lots more issues with friendships, sensory needs etc.

My younger child I was certain wasn't ND. Slept well, ate well, social skills good etc. But signs started showing age 5ish, now aged 9 and definitely expecting to be diagnosed autismn and ADHD. This child is much less the hyper side though- more dreamy and lack of focus (which didn't become apparent until school).

It's common for age 5-8 to be when issues become more apparent due to pressures at school.

My now 13 year was a very advanced talker. He didn't walk till 19 months but I have a video of him proudly telling his dad. ' wow dad look what I can do as he took his first steps )
he is a clever ( but not brilliant) boy now.

Mine is a girl and was described from birth as always alert. She was early and fast for everything, speech, walking, talking etc. Family described her as advanced, the usual.

Aged 8, yes, I think we probably could get a diagnosis of some sort as she has shown signs of mild OCD, Tics and other things.

However, and I underline that for good reason, we are not seeking any sort of diagnosis because it isn't negatively impacting her in a meaningful way. She's happy.

Yes, she's doing well at school, often scoring top marks and reading well above her age but she doesnt feel or put pressure on herself to do that. She also has loads of friends and doesn't struggle socially, she always makes new ones at clubs and is very confident.

So on balance we didn't feel we needed a diagnosis because we didn't need an outcome or adjustment for her.

Basically we're aware of some traits we need to keep an eye on and we try to pre-empt and support those, but until they are problematic, I'm inclined to let things run their natural course.

My genuine and kindly meant advice is to come off the internet and stop scaring yourself and take a watch and wait approach. You're a mum and you'll know instinctively when you need to take action. If you don't know its the right time to seek help, them it probably isn't (yet).

Curious if others have had similarly verbal, emotionally intense toddlers who were simply… bright and sensitive

Yes. DS was an only and also only GDC so spent a lot of time in adult company as a very young child, which I think brings on speech development a lot. Very sensitive though, didn't really grow out of that until tweens. Did well at school very able but not super bright,

Now 27 normal and happy young man with a very wide social circle.

Oh gosh, my DS was like this. A very precocious talker. He was my first and I thought it was normal and all the other kids were a bit thick 😮. He used to get very frustrated with the Teletubbies ('eh oh') and ask why they weren't talking properly.

Anyway, to answer your question, fast-forward to now, he is 27, and he is not any more precocious than his peers. He is NT, went to uni, has a good job. Maybe his consistent trait is that he was also a very early reader and he has remained a real bookworm. (He also doesn't watch teletubbies anymore).

Honestly OP, she sounds so much like my DS.

He never had a tantrum and would take in the world around him. He was sensitive to noise and smell and would hear and sniff things a mile off before we heard or knew they were there.

He’s also has and always has had a strong sense of social justice and is very empathetic…almost too much!

I’m not saying your DD is or isn’t ND or NT. It’s way too early to tell.

I never had any thought that my DS was ND but we did notice his quirks that we didn’t see in other kids his age.

After we got the educational psych report and started looking into this high learning potential world, all his quirks can be explained by his brain being on hyperdrive.

Keep your eye on her to see if ND is looking more likely but don’t discount that she could also have a brain galloping away from her.

A PP mentioned the charity Potential Plus and they are definitely worth a look if only to read about the characteristics gifted kids often show.

Mine were both advanced and are a mixture of pda, adhd and autism.

Another thought I think ( my personal opinion ) we all face challenges in life, and while there are differences in how individuals cope, being neurodivergent is not necessarily a disability for everyone. For some, it does not require a formal diagnosis or additional support.

Speaking personally, I was an academically focused child who loved learning. I didn’t always relate to my peers’ social interests, but I was able to pursue my goals and navigate life successfully. I have always experienced some anxiety, but it never prevented me from functioning or coping with challenges. I travelled, worked as an au pair, and have built the career I wanted. Of course, I still face normal life struggles, but they are manageable and do not impair my functioning.

In other words, my observation is that neurodivergence can manifest in many ways, and for some individuals—especially high-functioning children—it may not be a barrier to thriving academically or socially.

My daughter was like this. She's now 8 and very smart (reading age of 17, apparently!) and still very verbally inventive. No autism or ADHD.

OP: I cannot see anything in your posts that suggests your daughter would not be able to cope at school.

She sounds like a perfectly normal well-behaved and bright child to me.

And presumably exacerbated by the focus on traits more typical in males rather than females.