Was your highly verbal toddler advanced

[OneOliveKoala]

My daughter is 35 months and a very advanced early talker. She uses complex, logical sentences (e.g. “I don’t like that either, therefore I need to use this”), narrates her play, gives voices to characters, and builds imaginative stories with toys.

She also has a deep emotional range. She can feel sadness very deeply, and in new or stimulating environments she can feel excited and slightly overwhelmed at the same time — but she regulates well. She doesn’t have anger or frustration issues, doesn’t have frequent meltdowns, and can usually express what she’s feeling with words.

Other things about her:

• Strong imaginative and symbolic play (voices, storylines, role-play)
• Very observant — notices sounds, changes, and details
• Can follow rules, wait her turn, and ask for help when she needs it
• Good eater, good sleeper
• Self-regulates well for her age overall

What confuses me is seeing so many posts on Reddit where people say “my toddler was very verbal and later diagnosed with ADHD” — even when the child doesn’t seem to meet ADHD criteria (good attention for play, able to regulate, socially engaged, not impulsive across settings).

From what I understand, being highly verbal, imaginative, emotionally deep, and observant can still fall completely within neurotypical development, especially when the child can self-regulate, focus in play, sleep and eat well, and function across environments.

Curious if others have had similarly verbal, emotionally intense toddlers who were simply… bright and sensitive

any similar child to mine

I wouldn't say no traits. E.g. she was very impulsive at home, would draw on walls, cut holes in her clothes. On the go a lot, had to walk or bounce while she talked. Very excitable. Found things like tidying her room quite overwhelming. But the impact on school I would say probably wasn't enough at that time for a diagnosis due to high ability and high masking.

Parents that I know with children on a reduced school day (for a variety of reasons, extreme anxiety, ASD many more). Either reduce their working hours or have paid childcare to help out.

OP kindly, why are you worried about this at the moment?

My highly verbal toddler is now 13. His childminder used to joke that he was born talking.

He's not neuro diverse. But he is extremely clever. In the advanced maths club, gets 100% on tests etc.

Sometimes kids are just clever and don't need an explanation.

Thank you for your kind words .. the thing is I don’t have the choice of reducing my hours or proper paid childcare but many things can change between now and later on in her life ☺️ I just don’t see why school cannot help .. I have always had to go even if I was a bit anxious for grades because in my time ( I am 28 ) school didn’t interfere that much

Dyscalcula can be part of ADHD.

The description in the op almost perfectly describes my now 7 year old when she was that age. She's doing great at school but I'm pretty sure she has ADHD. We've had a couple of meetings with the senco about it.

OP the school would work with you and there would be many consultations with outside agencies and support in a situation like that however this would be quite rare and many many ND children manage a regular school day with support strategies in place.

This isn't something to worry about just now and will most likely not happen.

What clinical adhd traits does she have

That what currently happened with my Dsis - DN only allowed in a few hours.

Personally I'm not sure that it's legal - I thinks she must have agreed to it but it's gone on a long time now - but I hear what's going on second hand and it's difficult enough without extended family shouting our two cents worth.

I know it was proposed for a child in DD2 year - mother refused to accept it - she was working school hours and they couldn't work round it - school was very taken aback by the reponse - but the boy was kept in full time and did okay- we moved before they found what the underlying issues were for that child.

I think your jumping the gun here - you do not know there will be any probelms with school or that the school would suggest reduce timetable in reponse. I think you are borrowing trouble here and you'd be better focued on enjoyed as much as you can of your child.

Yes, more than just not being interested in a few subjects. She found out very difficult to focus at all and finds it quite difficult to attend the lessons because the level of boredom is difficult to tolerate. And a significant underperformance compared to her IQ.

DS1 was an advanced talker and learnt alphabet, colours etc very early. He is now 21, got an average set of GCSE results at a local comp and is not ND.

DS2 wouldn't speak for ages. Primary school thought he had language issues and put him in a special club. Turns out he was mute selectively to go in the fun club and not boring assembly! Passed his 11+ and is doing well at a top Grammar. Also not ND.

I think its too early to tell anything.

My daughter was/is highly verbal and due to through assessing I know that she’s considered to be in the gifted range. However, her oral comprehension skills haven’t stopped her being diagnosed with autism, ADHD and dyslexia. Sometimes the exceptional verbal skills hide or mask other issues.

Ds had amazing verbal and reasoning skills from a very early age, he learned to read easily and could remember facts like he was a sponge. Then once he hit school age he was a distracted nightmare for teachers and barely scraped through his GCSEs in the end. Should definitely have pushed harder for a ADHD diagnosis as I'm pretty certain now looking back that's what he has.

What were the traits ?

What are the traits ? Inattentive ?

Mine was speaking in full sentences at the age of two. She is 16 now and still doesn’t shut up.

She doesn’t have ADHD.

My neuro typical first born was highly advanced in speech and reading - fluently reading by 3 years old and talked like an old man. He's 18 now and intelligent but not scarily so - academics bored him ironically.

I don’t think schools can stimulate highly intelligent kids ☺️

Dd1 spoke in full sentences at 10 months. Asked people philosophical questions about the meaning of life at 3 and could do abstract number work at 3 too. Health visotor said she had intellectual capacity of a 10 yo at her 2 year check.
She has always been an exceptional all rounder, art, sport, maths, writing, and a constant guide and source of wisdom for me. She is exceptinally kind and thoughtful too. As close to a perfect human as you could imagine 🥰 🤮😅

Daughter, very verbal from a very little, =adhd.
son, hardly spoke, too busy running= adhd.
Id try not to overthink it all.
Also, she’s 3.

Does she have autist traits like lack of social cues , rigidity in behaviours ,

I don’t have ND children, but one of my siblings has ASD. It is quite obvious now, but he was undiagnosed in childhood (many years ago, when diagnoses were hard to come by unless a child presented with “classic” autism). He was a very early talker and reader. Now it’s clear that many of his utterances were echolalia, though my parents tended to be impressed that he could quote from books and films and didn’t see it as an issue. He taught himself to read at 3 and by 4 was reading Lewis Carroll, E. Nesbit, and the like. He also had a phenomenal memory. He could recite lengthy poems and prose passages after reading them once.

However, he always struggled with understanding social cues. He has never really developed a theory of mind. His life has been difficult and lonely. He craves social interaction but has never had friends. He’s never had a job.

With the enormous caveat that no one can diagnose your child long distance and by internet, she sounds NT to me. Will she turn out to be ND? Who knows? The good news is that diagnosis, resources, and community awareness of ASD and ADHD are leagues above what they were in decades past.

But there’s no need for you to borrow trouble. Enjoy your child. She sounds like a bright, delightful little girl whether she turns out to be ND or NT.

Thank you so so much for your words and yes he sounded like he was a gestalt language processor but long time ago there was no way of knowing..

alas the increased awareness didn’t come with better resources for many neurodivergent kids .. still there is no clear path to get a diagnosis.. just today I heard the news that at the Manchester hospital the waiting list
for adhd on the nhs is 37 years

My DD was extremely advanced with speech. People were shocked at how advanced she was. She is now 14 and has ADHD and severe dyslexia and struggles massively at school.

Yes, he’s highly intelligent and academically very successful. He’s also autistic with PDA and ADHD combined. He needed a lot of support growing up and has had some scary periods of burnout and MH problems, including an eating disorder, and was badly bullied at school. He’s now 23 and working in his dream job and living with his lovely partner (also ND), but it’s not been an easy ride for any of us.