Was your highly verbal toddler advanced

[OneOliveKoala]

My daughter is 35 months and a very advanced early talker. She uses complex, logical sentences (e.g. “I don’t like that either, therefore I need to use this”), narrates her play, gives voices to characters, and builds imaginative stories with toys.

She also has a deep emotional range. She can feel sadness very deeply, and in new or stimulating environments she can feel excited and slightly overwhelmed at the same time — but she regulates well. She doesn’t have anger or frustration issues, doesn’t have frequent meltdowns, and can usually express what she’s feeling with words.

Other things about her:

• Strong imaginative and symbolic play (voices, storylines, role-play)
• Very observant — notices sounds, changes, and details
• Can follow rules, wait her turn, and ask for help when she needs it
• Good eater, good sleeper
• Self-regulates well for her age overall

What confuses me is seeing so many posts on Reddit where people say “my toddler was very verbal and later diagnosed with ADHD” — even when the child doesn’t seem to meet ADHD criteria (good attention for play, able to regulate, socially engaged, not impulsive across settings).

From what I understand, being highly verbal, imaginative, emotionally deep, and observant can still fall completely within neurotypical development, especially when the child can self-regulate, focus in play, sleep and eat well, and function across environments.

Curious if others have had similarly verbal, emotionally intense toddlers who were simply… bright and sensitive

any similar child to mine

Honestly, no. My DS was extremely advanced in his speech by the time he was 12-18 months old. He was expressing himself in sentences very early and far better than all the other children we knew of a similar age. He was pretty bright up until around 3 then I'd say it plateaued and his peers caught up. This might be because I put an awful lot of time and effort into teaching him stuff when he was my PFB but as soon as a sibling came along I had less time to devote to that, so it found its natural level without the hothousing.

I was convinced he was going to be very clever and an advanced reader but he was not. He loved books and still does, but fluent reading and writing didn't come any earlier for him than for most of his peers and in some areas like maths he struggled.

But by the time he got to school he was no more advanced (apart from perhaps in his extensive vocabulary and a very active imagination and creativity) than his peers and while he stayed above the middle, he never troubled the very top sets in terms of academic attainment throughout his time in education. He did okay in GCSEs and A levels, went to a decent uni etc, but didn't excel with strings of A* or firsts in anything. He has quite a responsible job though, and is generally considered to be an intelligent, capable and highly literate and articulate young man. By the time they are adults it's pretty hard to tell who is academically very able and who isn't. It's not the most important thing. Plenty of highly academic children don't develop the required skills to excel in life or in the workplace.

I employ 12 people and honestly, the best ones are certainly not the cleverest ones.

Mine is 7 , still very bright, feels things strongly, very empathetic, currently under assessment for ADHD. It displays itself in inattention and hyperactivity but also dysgraphia which is hugely frustrating for a child who is as bright as he is (exceeds in reading, maths etc)

wow !!!! You must be so proud. Hope she is happy in herself and thriving in school🙂

yeah my family is full of hyperlexic, early talkers, early readers and lots of adhd and asd diagnosed with the younger crowd (and clearly would be the older ones too.) I don’t think it’s a foregone conclusion though and yeah i wouldn’t rush to diagnose or fixate at this age. it’s a good thing to have in mind for later though. Most places i’ve known prefer to leave less extreme cases to year 3, so 7-8 year olds as kids develop and change so much and at differing rates and frankly they’re all imaginative and beautiful weird.😂

YABVU for saying 35 months instead of 'nearly 3'.

(Not read the full thread)

Just wanted to say, I responded to the thread title without even reading the OP fully. Now I've read it, your DD pretty much sounds indentical to how my DS was at the same age. There was never any suspicion of ASD or any sort of issue with him.

Opposite. My eldest was non verbal until he was three, he didn’t say a single word at all just babbled. He’s now almost 16 and set to get straight 9s in his GCSEs. The frustrating thing is, he’s never really had to try all that hard at school because the intellect just comes naturally.

Likewise my youngest child is 5 and non verbal, though his vocab is off the charts but he doesn’t reliably communicate through language. He can read fluently and his autism means he makes connections other children just wouldn’t even think to make. He enjoys lining books up and memorises the order in which they were published. He also likes to line up my books by certain publishers in alphabetic order so at any given point we’ll have a line of Penguin modern classics, line of Penguin vintage, little blacks, Faber books all over the floor.

DD was an advanced talker in comparison and she struggles academically in comparison. She’s amazing in lots of other ways e.g has far more common sense than the boys and is very practical, good with her hands etc but yeah. Opposite has been the case for me.

Ds2 was very advanced from a young age, very sociable, great at conversation, he has adhd and dyslexia. He’s doing very well at school

ds1 has no additional needs, couldn’t put two words together till three, was late on all the milestones, finished his GCSE’s with all 8&9’s

My son was like this as a toddler. Just enjoy how wonderful it is to have a little person who can so clearly communicate their interests and thoughts and needs. It makes parenting fabulously fun. He is still ferociously bright and soaring along at school doing really well. He's not some out of the world child genius but equally we haven't hot Housed him at all we've just let him follow his interests.

Keeping a house full of interesting books and planning interesting trips is a good idea but generally just let them have a lovely childhood and don't do anything differently, follow and respond to their needs.

My son certainly presents as neurotypical although we do have autism in the family.

I think rather than trying to label or diagnose at this stage I would just enjoy the parenting fun. Follow their need and go at their pace with things. My son has always loved maths and everything to do with physics and astronomy but he also will enjoy all kinds of activities from go karting to football and skiing.

My husband and I were both similar as children and I think the one thing we wish our parents are done differently was not make a big deal out of our intelligence because it can feel like you are really in the spotlight then. I also feel like our parents thought that this meant we could neglect developing more practical skills and actually I feel it's really important to have a rounded skill set and to be encouraged to do things you find trickier too.

Mine is extremely high achieving and also neuro diverse. Much earlier fluent talker/ reader/ maths than my neuro typical dc.

Well then neurodiversity means that you everything in advance in today’s world 🤣

No and if you read there is a lot of people who are pointing that there a chance she is neurodivergent somehow

Just to add- Absolutely thriving at school but tricky couple of years socially when he was younger. Masks at school now.

My son doesn’t have ADHD or any other SEN needs. He is highly intelligent. He could also speak in complex sentences before the age of 2! I have videos of him asking things like “were has the cat gone?” When he was 14 month old.

he is still really advanced he is 9 and had read the whole Harry Potter series and is interested in complex topics such as Greek mythology and he wants to be an archeologist. His ideal holiday destinations - Pompeii, Athens and anywhere with great architecture. He sat and passed a mock secondary school entrance exam without any tuition or revision he just knew how to do it

conversely he is awful at sport!! And my 4 year old can beat him in a race!! So it’s just his talent lies in brains

I definitely say the link in my children. They have all been early talkers good talkers very articulate and they ended up doing extremely well. Educationally the other thing. I would really recommend that you do if you haven’t already.
Just get her started on second languages the best money I ever spent was on the BBC course of Muzzy. 3 out of 4 of my children speak second languages well, Not fluently, but very good.
One of them self taught them themselves to degree level and obtained a first in a language that she had not studied prior to university

Wow that it is advanced 🥰… I am not quite sure if my daughter is an advanced talker then .. I mean she is nearly 3 and the full blown conversations started at 2.5 🙂

just to say your son sounds so much like me ..I was ( 28 F ) and still am heavily into poetry , literature and neoclassical studies and to say that i was awful at sport was an understatement ..

He’s like his dad!! My DH studied theology and they sit and challenge each other!! Me and the 4 year old just play games and watch Disney films 🤣🤣🤣

What confuses me is seeing so many posts on Reddit where people say “my toddler was very verbal and later diagnosed with ADHD” — even when the child doesn’t seem to meet ADHD criteria (good attention for play, able to regulate, socially engaged, not impulsive across settings).

That would be my kids. I'm also diagnosed dyslexia and dyspraxia- DD1 has inattentive ADHD and DS is likely to have same as her going though process and ADHD looked to be rife in family as well. Was later DS having a 98 centile head was also a risk factor for ADHD but seems unclear with low brithrate and low had circuferance in more recent research showing up as risk factors. All my DC are also summer born.

I had hearing issuse delaying my speach and I knew social linteractions may be channelling so my kids got a lot of early exposure and support in early years - and all looked very good and positive.

School was harder in early years - they needed home support edcuationally but not home schooling. Older two are at uni doing very well socially and adacamically. DN school currently handling him really badly and that is impacting on working for Dsis though she scrapping by.

I think many people have view that these conditions mean non acadamic and a lot on social media is according to DD1 assors just plain wrong or normal life being shoved into labels.

I don't think early talking is a red flag or a cause for concern but many do later find they have conditions and many in wider society think shouldn't have been like that as it doesn't fit their pre conceived ideas - so people could just be pointing out being highly verbal doesn't rule out conditions like many assume.

She sounds very much like our two sons. They were very early talkers and early readers. DS1 never had a tantrum, he’s 31 now and we’ve still never had a row, he’s got the patience of a saint. They both went on to achieve all As and A*s at GCSE and A level. DS1 chose not to go to university DS2 did. Both are NT.

DGS, who turned 2 on Boxing Day, is exactly the same. We put it down to genetics and zero screen time. He has been read to everyday since the day he was born which I think really helps. When he was 22mths old, I said to him I was knitting him a cardigan so he replied “ with a bunny on, maybe, please Granny?”

I think you’re overthinking and over analysing this OP

Any chance YOU are neurodivergent? 😜

Seriously, saying your 3 year old (35 months?!) has a “deep emotional range” is a bit ridiculous. Do you think other 3 year olds don’t feel things just as deeply? Based on what?

My DD (now 8) is very bright, really excels academically and is also very sporty and really good socially, confident with lots of good friendships and displays a lot of emotional intelligence. She was very advanced verbally as a baby and toddler - by 7 months she spoke in short simple sentences (look duck quack quack) and was speaking in complex sentences by age 2.

There are no signs at all that she's ND, I think she's just very bright and able! It's a lucky situation to find ourselves in, I'm really grateful that so far both my kids enjoy school and are able to do well, I really feel for kids who struggle academically in a system which really doesn't cater for other talents and abilities.

So she's 2 and a half. 35 months 🙄

Yes - I remember DD telling us all she was having a really bad hair day aged 2.

Very vocal and advanced.

She is now doing her A levels. Bright but not considerably academic. Don't worry.

I was like this as a toddler. I also learned to read very early (well before school). I am awesome at passing exams, I absolutely suck at socialising and networking, was bullied relentlessly for being 'weird' and I am painfully uncoordinated. Turns out I am autistic. This absolutely oesn't mean your toddler is also autistic, but my experiences and profile are quite common for ND people. So something to keep an eye out for. Either way, your child sounds awesome and a lot of fun!