Should husband have got taxi at 4am after finishing work late?

[Groay]

Husband is a pilot. He ended up at an airport that is not his home base. This meant he stayed overnight in a hotel. I was fine with this. But I have since learned that everyone except him chose to get in a paid for taxi in the very early hours. Husband’s taxi was for 2pm the next day. Everyone else wanted to gain that day back by getting the travel over and done with.

It meant that I had to cancel an event I wanted to go to. Dh knows I was trying to figure out alternative childcare but the hassle wasn’t worth it in the end so I sacked it off.

Do I have a right to be mad? Dh could’ve slept for three hours in the taxi and then driven the 20 mins home. And had basically the whole next day to chill with the odd drop off here and there for kids.

He said he was knackered. He FaceTimed me from bed and he was definitely tired but I can tell when he’s exhausted. He was actually quite talkative and I had to say get some sleep to him! I was up with poorly baby

I agree with you I think

It meant that I had to cancel an event I wanted to go to.

He sucks

Whats your marriage like generally?
Is this a one off?

He was three hours away and exhausted, I'm team DH on this. I would have chosen the hotel too.

If he had to work again the next day then he would’ve needed a decent sleep . So I don’t blame him for staying at the hotel .

If he just couldn’t be arsed go watch his own kids then yeah he’s shit .

Is your husband good at sleeping in cars because if not then getting a hotel after flying, having some sleep and then coming home the next day seems much more sensible.

I'm not sure if anyone is BU, really.

It's fine for you to be annoyed your plans were disrupted, it's also fine for him to want to sleep properly after work, and not catch a taxi at 4am.

Taxi at 4am for three hours and then drive?

after presumably a longer than normal shift plus diversion as he landed at an airport where his car wasn’t?

I’d have got some sleep too.

I never sleep in the car, so I don't think he was unreasonable.

He didn’t have to fly the next day.

If I was your husband I would pick a hotel as well. Could he have got a taxi at say 11 instead though, if it was going to upset your plans?

So Three hours sleep in a car after a full shift at work, then drive whilst still sleepy, home around 7/8am to be on duty with the kids who require various drop offs…… I think YABU this time.

I think he was reasonable to delay but not til 2pm - he could have left earlier

That’s when the taxi was booked for (via airline).

The drop offs would’ve been in the afternoon. He would have been able to get a good 6 hours of shut eye before he was needed. And then only for a drop off. I could have had a friend return my eldest home.

I would've done the exact same thing if I was exhausted.

And my husband would be 100% behind my choice.

Pilots really need to sleep properly, which is difficult at the best of times with their schedules. I think he did the right thing getting a proper sleep after a long shift.

I’m not a pilot but my dad was, and I remember how hard it was for him to sleep enough to be able to do his job safely.

He had the whole next day to rest at home

What was the plan supposed to be? If it was to get a taxi, he is BU for not doing what he says he would, but it does sound like a stupid plan- I wouldn’t feel safe driving after only sleeping in a car for 3 hours!

Everyone else in the crew did just that

I wouldn’t have wanted to sleep (try and sleep) in a taxi for 3 hours then drive 20 mins home.

I would have taken the hotel too. Flying a plane, then a three hour taxi, then drive home. Sounds exhausting.

I feel like life occasionally being disrupted is just part and parcel of being married to a pilot. We're an emergency services family and sometimes everything falls onto one or the other person and the balance seems "unfair", but it's just the way it goes and what you sign up for being with someone who works weird hours.

If I was a passenger on one of his planes I'd want him to have as much quality sleep as possible.

3 hours of broken sleep in a taxi, then having to drive, then attempting more broken sleep at around 9am before driving again? I think he was right to stay over

How would have have been able to get 6 hours sleep when supervising children? Also I'm guessing that 6 hours is based on assuming he would have fallen straight to sleep?

We live 15 mins away from the airport