Should husband have got taxi at 4am after finishing work late?

[Groay]

Husband is a pilot. He ended up at an airport that is not his home base. This meant he stayed overnight in a hotel. I was fine with this. But I have since learned that everyone except him chose to get in a paid for taxi in the very early hours. Husband’s taxi was for 2pm the next day. Everyone else wanted to gain that day back by getting the travel over and done with.

It meant that I had to cancel an event I wanted to go to. Dh knows I was trying to figure out alternative childcare but the hassle wasn’t worth it in the end so I sacked it off.

Do I have a right to be mad? Dh could’ve slept for three hours in the taxi and then driven the 20 mins home. And had basically the whole next day to chill with the odd drop off here and there for kids.

He said he was knackered. He FaceTimed me from bed and he was definitely tired but I can tell when he’s exhausted. He was actually quite talkative and I had to say get some sleep to him! I was up with poorly baby

I think you’re being rather unfair. What others did is irrelevant. If I was him I’d have been going straight to bed as well. I can’t imagine there’s a lot of quality sleep to be had in a taxi or during daylight hours with the kids about.
I think that it’s ok for you to be disappointed that your plans had to change but I would not have expected my DH to get a taxi for three hours at that time of night.

I think you are so unreasonable. It was 4am. I'd take the hotel too. 3hr taxi ride at 4am, no thanks.

You do realise that had he had a car accident and it has been discovered that he has only had 3 hours sleep in a taxi …

The police and insurers check this stuff

There was a case with a guy gaming at night and only getting 2 hours sleep and then driving

The world would grind to a halt if no one ever had a double espresso and wound down their window to power through a 20 minute car journey to work or home (he wasn’t flying a plane home btw, that bit was already done)

Please let me know which airline it is. I am not sure I would want to fly with the airline if a pilot's wife believes she is the reasonable one in such circumstances and is likely to pressurise him in to not taking the hotel option next time.

If it wasn’t for the event then I’d say he was good to stay if he was that tired, but to make you cancel something? No he should have taken the taxi.

Course he should have stayed in the hotel and got some sleep. He’s a pilot. In charge /control of hundreds of peoples lives

you were fine with it till knew others went home

he would have had broken sleep in the taxi. Then awake into hour. Greeting you /kids and not back to bed asap ans semi sleeping as may have napped in the car

or

he slept 4/11am and got a taxi back at 1140/12

yes you still couldn’t have left for event at 1

is that what is pissing you off @Groay. If in all day would you have minded
no friends able to have kids till he was home ?

What was the daytime event?

I would have done the same as him

I work night and need a decent sleep after and if school holidays I don’t really get that and I have a good dd

Driving at 7.00am after practically no sleep following a days work is more than “double espresso and press on” territory.

so why did the company book a taxi for him then instead of with everyone else? surely a group taxi to the home airport would have made more sense than letting everyone choose a different time

If he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I often sleep very badly if it's very late/early in the morning and I know my sleeping time is limited. I only sleep very fitfully in the car under any circumstances.

Honestly OP I wouldn't want my husband getting in a car after 3 hours' sleep between 4 and 7 am even if that 3 hours sleep was very sound. I think you're taking a really technical view of this where you're imagining that everything works out in the best way that it possibly could. Yes, be disappointed that you couldn't make your event, I get that, but it does not sound like he was unreasonable here.

In which case he’d definitely not be getting any kind of sleep.

Don’t push it in this instance, it’s unsafe to drive when too tired.

I think the options were either a taxi home at 4am, or staying the night in a hotel and a taxi home at 2pm.

so he felt too tired to come home and drive, but if it affects OPS social life then he should do what he feels is unsafe?

That’s when the taxi was booked for (via airline).

If they ended up at the wrong airline at 4am, why would the airline book them a taxi at 2pm?

So based on getting in a taxi at 4am for 3 hours, followed by a 20 minute drive and arriving home at 07:30 at that’s a max of 5.5 hours rest, assuming he was able to sleep straight away. That’s madness for anyone, never mind a pilot. He did the right thing by staying overnight.

Unless it was a very important event I would have done the same as your DH. I wouldn't be spending over 3 hours travelling home at 4am after work if I could stay in a hotel.

Why did the taxi have to be early hours or 2pm?

Could he not have also taken a taxi from the "home" airport if he didn't want to drive?

Maybe that's when there were other people needing to do the same journey?

YABU.

I would have picked the hotel too.

I'm with Kubrick re why would anyone be jealous about having a pilot as a partner.

and it was the ridiculous , patronising comment about "booking signing by a hunk" was where it was clear he was a man.

I disagree that most women would have pushed on...the majority of us on here are likely women and have all said he wasn't unreasonable in staying over.

I would have stayed over. It was the right and sensible thing to do.

assume his car was there but as they live so close, surely that could have been. sorted the next day