Should husband have got taxi at 4am after finishing work late?

[Groay]

Husband is a pilot. He ended up at an airport that is not his home base. This meant he stayed overnight in a hotel. I was fine with this. But I have since learned that everyone except him chose to get in a paid for taxi in the very early hours. Husband’s taxi was for 2pm the next day. Everyone else wanted to gain that day back by getting the travel over and done with.

It meant that I had to cancel an event I wanted to go to. Dh knows I was trying to figure out alternative childcare but the hassle wasn’t worth it in the end so I sacked it off.

Do I have a right to be mad? Dh could’ve slept for three hours in the taxi and then driven the 20 mins home. And had basically the whole next day to chill with the odd drop off here and there for kids.

He said he was knackered. He FaceTimed me from bed and he was definitely tired but I can tell when he’s exhausted. He was actually quite talkative and I had to say get some sleep to him! I was up with poorly baby

But the employer (who has a duty) of care offered it as an option and it sounds like the co-pilot took it.

The employer has discharged their duty of care by offering the room. ...they can't insist an individual takes it.

If the co-pilot had a car crash post a long or v long day and there is police involvement then the company simply turns round to police/CPS and says "we offered them somewhere to sleep, they didn't take it, it's their problem, they didn't have to drive home"...

Sorry to be stuck on repeat but the fall out from Selby got some companies really quite twitched..

Where I was at the line from the company, and at least one union with regard to crew driving post work became:

The individual was responsible for making sure they were fit to drive home after working as rostered.

If OTOH the day got extended beyond normal limits the company would offer accommodation. That offer, whether accepted or not, covered the company's arse.

His employer has quite correctly ensured that he is able to take the legally required 10 hour break, how they arrange it with the hotel is there business.

Other pilot may be younger or less tired.

Or be in a position to go to bed and sleep for eight hours when he got home.

In all the timings being thrown around, there also needs to be time allowed for the dh to eat - before going to bed at 4am, before getting the taxi at 2pm. Or before going to bed at whatever time he got home in the morning, if he'd opted for the 3 hr taxi at 4am.

And if he'd got a taxi from the home airport, rather than driving, the car wouldn't have been available for ferrying children later.

He lands 4am and you expect him to take a 3hr taxi drive back (sleep in the taxi) and then a 20 minute drive. The earliest he's getting home is going to be about 7:30am, but more likely not before 8:00am, and what if he doesn't manage to sleep in the taxi and falls asleep at the wheel of his car for that 20 minute drive (which is more likely because its a familiar route)
By the time he gets home, greets everyone, eats, showers and does everything else he needs to do its unlikely he'll be hitting the sack much before 10am. Then what you expect to sleep straight away? - highly unlikely as the rest of the world would have woken up, so unlikely that he will get much sleep, and if he did he's not getting up until mid afternoon, plus it will put his body clock out of whack.
No, he did the right and responsible thing, even if it caused some inconvenience.

And I join team DH & Bombinia on this one .

I feel for both parties in this situation. However, in this case I tend to have more empathy with the DH as I know from experience no you can’t sleep in cabs and also it’s nigh on impossible to sleep properly in a family house during the daytime. My only experience of long cab rides has been from clubs at 5am and admittedly I was sleeping in my own place and not with a family but had friends who did go back to children on the odd occasion. If my sleep cycle was out of sync based on latter scenario then god knows what it does to a pilots one. Factor in the stress of flying and you need a good nights sleep.

Us OP returning to give any more info?

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain

Us OP returning to give any more info?

Probably not, the airline world is a small one and there was enough info in the OP to potentially out the DH, certainly to company colleagues.

Hopefully it's all done and dusted...