DSIL has asked me to wear a non matching outfit on Christmas Day

[Xmasdresscode]

I am friendly with DSIL and we get along well. She text me earlier to ask what outfit I’ve planned for Christmas Day (as we are all at MIL’s house this year).

It turns out we’ve planned something very similar, near identical infact.

She has suggested I wear something else so we aren’t matching.

I purchased the outfit specifically for the day so am reluctant to. She has already travelled down to MIL’s (she lives 3 hours from her) so doesn’t have an alternative.

Am I unreasonable to stick to what I plan to wear? It’s not as if we are going out on the day.

I know @BuckChuckets! I’m in the fuck her camp. I wouldn’t be dictated to by some insta obsessed family member.

Is her name Camilla and yours Sophie in which case YABVVVVVU

Oh, you’ve let some girl-woman push you around then. good luck to you.

Unless it’s the exact same how similar is it? Both wearing red - well that’s almost to be expected. And I wouldn’t have my photo plastered all over social media - she can do her family but I if it’s going on insta leave me out!

Set your boundaries now or she will be dictating you your for the rest of forever

I'd hate to be dressed so similarly to someone else so I'd change my outfit.

If she'd forgotten/lost/broken/run out of her toothbrush, phone charger, petrol, specific desired food or whatever, I'm sure she'd easily manage to find somewhere within a reasonable distance that sold them.

Unless MIL lives on a remote island surrounded by shark-infested waters and she arrived by helicopter, I'm sure there will be clothes shops in the area. Presumably the people who live there manage to not have to go around naked all the time, for lack of anywhere to buy all the garments they need.

She's already clearly told OP why this is important to her: because she values what a load of randomers who may spot her photos as they scroll past her SM think far more than she cares about her own family.

Even aside from the outfit, she's already assumed that OP and all of the others are perfectly willing to appear on her SM - she didn't feel the need to ask them about that in advance, did she?

It's obviously not an impromptu proud 'I love my family' candid shot; she's clearly got them lined up and planned as bit-part accessories to her as the important main character.

I am currently staying with my parents and while there are no shark-infested waters there is a distinct dearth of decent clothes shops (or even indecent ones) anywhere nearby. And it's one thing buying a new toothbrush but quite another shelling out on a whole new outfit.

But nobody needs to buy a new outfit, just wear what the hell you like.

My mum and SiL turned up in identical dresses (same dress from same store) a few years ago. Everyone just thought it was cute and funny and we took even more photos!

Which is already a bit ridiculous, but unless the "particular pattern" is the words "Christmas 2025" if various sizes, colours and fonts (unlikely), she can just wear it next Christmas, if it is specifically Christmas themed, or any of the other 364 days of the year, if its not. It's not like the MIL is going to refuse her entry because she's wearing something she's worn before (or how the MIL would even know this).

This.

But if something like that matters so very much to you, would you not plan ahead and not put yourself in the position where you're demanding/relying on somebody else changing their plans for you and you also won't have any opportunity to buy a new outfit - which, again, if it matters so very much to you, you will surely prioritise in your budget?

It's so odd to have such a fixation like this, yet not to think to ask all the female guests who will be there well in advance. It really does betray a serious case of main character syndrome when she just assumes that she will get her way, and then when she deigns to double-check at the last minute that she will, it's automatically somebody else's problem to change to accommodate her.

Couldnt agree more.

If not looking the same as anyone else is so important to her, then the onus is on her to plan ahead and maybe change her outfit not the other person who doesnt care.

Like you say, there is is an assumption that she will get her own way because....well its her and there will be bafflement if OP says no (as she should imo). Main Character Syndrome indeed.

nust change up the accessories ..eg different colour tights or scald or necklace or shoes / hat etc… lots yoh can do to wear a similar outfit differently

Wear what you want, and as you have bought an outfit specially for the day then don’t buy something different. If she gets shirty about it then just say “oh, I forgot you said you were going to wear similar to what I had already bought to wear” and if anyone else comments that you are similarly dressed then say “oh, I hadn’t really noticed, I love this outfit, I bought it to wear today” so that there isn’t an opportunity to get involved in conversations about who is wearing what.

And so would I.

Her request is narcissistic, petty and selfish...personally I would not enter into any more discussion on the subject and would definitely wear what I had purchased and planned! 🙄
If she decided to make a fuss about it on the day well I'd damn well make sure that everyone was made aware that it was only her 'problem' not mine and that it says far more about her than anything else! 😡

Once we've come home from Christmas lunch, dh and I will be wearing skeleton onesies!

Wear your pyjamas

SIL is already at the place of the christmas celebration and too far from home to go and pick something else to wear.

Why did you buy something specifically to wear on Christmas day especially if you're only going to family? Stick on jeans and a jumper and take whatever nonsense buy you've mage back. It's so weird to buy something to wear at mils house 🤣🤣🤣

For some people including me Christmas is a good excuse to get something new. Why not have a new outfit for Christmas? It doesn’t have to be a themed outfit it’s just an excuse to feel a bit special and why not if you are visiting someone. I’m not getting the “just” bit about family.

I don’t think I’ve discussed with anyone what I’m wearing since it was a hot topic with my schoolmates for a disco in the 1970’s.
Is it really something that actual adults talk about??