DSIL has asked me to wear a non matching outfit on Christmas Day

[Xmasdresscode]

I am friendly with DSIL and we get along well. She text me earlier to ask what outfit I’ve planned for Christmas Day (as we are all at MIL’s house this year).

It turns out we’ve planned something very similar, near identical infact.

She has suggested I wear something else so we aren’t matching.

I purchased the outfit specifically for the day so am reluctant to. She has already travelled down to MIL’s (she lives 3 hours from her) so doesn’t have an alternative.

Am I unreasonable to stick to what I plan to wear? It’s not as if we are going out on the day.

How do you even know what each other’s
planning to wear in the first place? Can’t even imagine how some of these bonkers conversations even take place unless you’re the Kardashians…

If it was so important to her why didn't she ask before she got there?

I'm guessing so she gets to be the one wearing what she has chosen!

How similar are they really?

Isn't it a shame that she only phoned when she was at MIL's and couldn't change her decision.
If she was that bothered she should have checked in with you weeks ago.

So bloody what!!!! Shops are open tomorrow - SIL can go shopping!

I like those FB reels where all the men in the family turn up wearing the same shirt - actually quite funny seeing their reactions. Soooo, maybe secretly msg all the women in the family and tell them to wear a 'black dress' or whatever.
Oh and please get a photo!

I might change what I wore to be kind as it seems bizarrely important to her. But I’d think she was a silly shallow person who really needs to get a life. We don’t need unique clothes to be a special unique person.
I assume she has other good points as you say you’re close.

As pp said maybe try and talk it through though so you can wear what you bought, could she be persuaded that it would be fun to dress in a similar style?

But who on earth cares if they dress similar to someone else except the mother of the bride and mother of the groom at a wedding.

Tell her the matching aspect doesn't bother you, so you will be wearing your intended outfit, since you bought it specially, and she should have given more warning if non-matching outfits were important to her.

I don't even know what I am wearing on Christmas Eve yet 😂

Is that whyit?! I was wondering

It's a family do and you aren't teenagers, so who cares - I'd just say, sorry that's really all I have -

What a weird woman

What is the outfit?

Does she often ask about what your wearing when you meet up ?
Is she one of those 'influencers' who will be taking photos and uploading stuff all day ? She doesn't have your permission to upload photos of you so who exactly is going to see or care what you are wearing !

I'd reply with a laughing emoji and not change what I was wearing.
Unless of course she offers to pay for a new outfit.

So what. It happens. She has no business asking what you are going to wear.
Wear what you intended and if she says anything, remind her of this:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/laura-bush-among-four-ladies-in-red/

Depends on what the outfit is....if you're both wearing denim jeans/same color sweater, I think that's ok. But if you're both wearing a blue and white polka dot a-line dress then yes, I may re-think my wardrobe choice.

I'm really surprised ar some of the reactions here. A family member has asked OP to do something to make her more comfortable. It might be that there are reasons OP decides not to do it, but the nasty responses seem off to me. If it is that she's worried OP will look better, can't OP be understanding and bend a bit, rather than asserting her right to wear what she chooses?

I'd have a conversation rather than all these strangely aggressive responses.

It's ridiculous for her to tell YOU to change. If she doesn't like it she can. I bet it's because you look better in it than her. Lol.

Anyway it's not exactly the same is it? Loads of party wear at Xmas ends up looking 'matching' and it just looks cute and festive.

Wear what you planned but offer her a really stupid hat / garland / fake moustache “so we don’t match”.

I think this is the trouble with social - a lot of people think they ARE the Kardashian's even though they are Lauren from accounts in Milton Keynes, and no one cares if they wear a stained tracksuit or a ballgown

the only time my family has had the "what are you wearing" convo for Xmas at home was the year we all wore onsies and the year we all wore simpsons pyjamas that my father bought because.......well I dont actually know.

Apart from that you wear what you like!

I would tell her that you’re planning to wear it and so it’s up to her whether she changes hers or not.

Too bad.

“Hi dsil

ive bought this outfit specially so will be wearing it. I don’t mind us matching but if you don’t fancy it that’s fine too. “

bizarre to even ask unless you often match

A lot of people dress up for Christmas day. That isn't the odd part. The odd part is the SIL thinking that it matters if she is in a similar outfit to the OP, and then having the cheek to expect the OP to be the one to have to change her plans.

How similar?
same style ,colour or an identical dress?

Does it really matter if you dress similarly?
Weird.

Random anecdote:
Many years ago two friends and I were keen on Laura Ashley clothes. The first day of the of their sales was very popular but I think I was the only one of us who braved the queue in the first hour.

We all went to a party in the new year. When I got there I saw the other two were wearing a dress I had also bought. I lived nearby, so after talking to them I went home and changed into it.

I still remember it - black cotton jersey with a royal blue pattern, quite plain, with long sleeves and a drop waist. It was before the days of Instagram, though.

Why did your DSIL think to ask in advance what you’d be wearing? Can’t she appreciate it as a theme for the day?