Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSIL has asked me to wear a non matching outfit on Christmas Day

201 replies

Xmasdresscode · 23/12/2025 17:43

I am friendly with DSIL and we get along well. She text me earlier to ask what outfit I’ve planned for Christmas Day (as we are all at MIL’s house this year).

It turns out we’ve planned something very similar, near identical infact.

She has suggested I wear something else so we aren’t matching.

I purchased the outfit specifically for the day so am reluctant to. She has already travelled down to MIL’s (she lives 3 hours from her) so doesn’t have an alternative.

Am I unreasonable to stick to what I plan to wear? It’s not as if we are going out on the day.

OP posts:
SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 20:12

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/12/2025 19:56

Thatcher was told by Buck Palace that the Queen never notices what other women are wearing. In other words....Get back in your lane Margaret!

She wanted to know what the Queen was wearing to an event, so they didnt clash. The arrogance of the woman, assuming that she was so important that people would care!

Show quote history

it was actually very polite of her to make sure she didn't choose the wrong outfit next to the Queen.

Don't you think people have to check when Kate Middleton is booked for events?

SouthernNights59 · 23/12/2025 20:19

Sparkletastic · 23/12/2025 17:46

You can change your decision. She can’t.

Seriously? Who cares if someone is wearing the same outfit on Christmas Day at their relatives house? It's not a wedding.

Pineapplewaves · 23/12/2025 20:21

Wear your outfit - SIL should have asked before she packed and left home. She can still go out tomorrow and buy something new. You have bought a new outfit especially for the day so why should it be you that has to go out and chose something else when it’s her that has the problem not you.

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/12/2025 20:24

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/12/2025 19:56

Thatcher was told by Buck Palace that the Queen never notices what other women are wearing. In other words....Get back in your lane Margaret!

She wanted to know what the Queen was wearing to an event, so they didnt clash. The arrogance of the woman, assuming that she was so important that people would care!

Show quote history

Thank you. I hadn't heard that.

SweatyGibbon · 23/12/2025 21:02

You could always wear a tracksuit. That would teach her.

Original poster
Xmasdresscode · 23/12/2025 21:19

I’ve messaged her back and said if she really wants me to wear something different then I will. She thanked me, said she knows it sounds silly but think how ridiculous it would look on socials in the group photos. So those who guessed it was insta related were right!

OP posts:
diddl · 23/12/2025 21:23

I'd be tempted to reply that yes it does sound silly & since that's the reason I'll wear what I have bought & you can leave me out of the pics!

dapsnotplimsolls · 23/12/2025 21:25

Xmasdresscode · 23/12/2025 21:19

I’ve messaged her back and said if she really wants me to wear something different then I will. She thanked me, said she knows it sounds silly but think how ridiculous it would look on socials in the group photos. So those who guessed it was insta related were right!

Bingo!

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/12/2025 21:25

diddl · 23/12/2025 21:23

I'd be tempted to reply that yes it does sound silly & since that's the reason I'll wear what I have bought & you can leave me out of the pics!

So would I.

B1anche · 23/12/2025 21:26

I would not only wear the outfit but dress my kids and the dog in the same pattern too.

Arlanymor · 23/12/2025 21:27

Who even remotely cares if you wear something similar. See also: weddings and any other event in the universe. God people are ridiculous.

heartsinvisiblefury · 23/12/2025 21:35

Wear what you want - no one should tell you what to wear unless you need to wear a uniform for work.

8misskitty8 · 23/12/2025 22:04

diddl · 23/12/2025 21:23

I'd be tempted to reply that yes it does sound silly & since that's the reason I'll wear what I have bought & you can leave me out of the pics!

I'd reply that as well. You don't have to be plastered all over her feeds.

Gowlett · 23/12/2025 22:08

I remember when me & my best friend were 14, and wanted the same Take That t-shirt. We got one each, and made a promise to tell each other when we planned on wearing ours…

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/12/2025 22:15

Xmasdresscode · 23/12/2025 21:19

I’ve messaged her back and said if she really wants me to wear something different then I will. She thanked me, said she knows it sounds silly but think how ridiculous it would look on socials in the group photos. So those who guessed it was insta related were right!

"Oh if that's all it is, I dont want to be put on SM anyway, so I will just stay out of the group photos!"

Job done.

thestudio · 23/12/2025 22:46

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/12/2025 22:15

"Oh if that's all it is, I dont want to be put on SM anyway, so I will just stay out of the group photos!"

Job done.

Show quote history

Perfect.

AffableApple · 23/12/2025 23:09

Sparkletastic · 23/12/2025 17:46

You can change your decision. She can’t.

But... she's the one who has an issue with it. Sounds like OP couldn't give a figgy pudding? 🤷

suburberphobe · 23/12/2025 23:12

Jesus. Is this really what you and your family have to talk about?!

Who cares who wears what when getting together with family.

Enjoy. It might be the last year.....

AffableApple · 23/12/2025 23:13

B1anche · 23/12/2025 21:26

I would not only wear the outfit but dress my kids and the dog in the same pattern too.

And print DSIL masks 😈

billiongulls · 23/12/2025 23:19

I actually can't imagine a world where I would ask some one what they planned to wear Christmas day.

TessSaysYes · 23/12/2025 23:25

If you had other nice things to wear I wouldn't dwell on it. Do you like her generally, in which case you might oblige her. Though if she's an arse. You could stick to your guns 🙊

fashionqueen0123 · 23/12/2025 23:27

How old is she? 14?!

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 23:36

billiongulls · 23/12/2025 23:19

I actually can't imagine a world where I would ask some one what they planned to wear Christmas day.

great, because if they are anything like most of us, they won't have a clue until that very morning 😂

MoodyMargaret11 · 24/12/2025 00:21

B1anche · 23/12/2025 21:26

I would not only wear the outfit but dress my kids and the dog in the same pattern too.

Best way to go 🤣

RecordBreakers · 24/12/2025 00:25

UxmalFan · 23/12/2025 17:48

If wearing something similar matters to you, don't.
If wearing something similar would cause significant distress to SIL and you want to avoid that, don't.
Otherwise, wear what you like. I find it very strange that anyone would bother about this at a family lunch. If you were red-carpet celebs at a televised event, maybe.

This.

I genuinely can't imagine being worked up about this.

But if it were going to make my SiL uncomfortable somehow, and I was still at home so could obviously put on anything I have in my wardrobe, then I can't understand why anyone wouldn't just pick another dress.