To be annoyed about the guy who took his top off in a roomful of women?

[naturenaturenature]

I belong to a community choir and we had our Christmas concert recently. There was a room set aside for us to put our bags and coats in. It was a small room and jam packed after the concert with people collecting their bags.

The make up of the choir is predominantly middle aged and older women with a small number of men.

After the concert finished, we all went to the room to retrieve our bags. When I walked in, one of the men was standing in the corner with his top off and he didn't seem to be in a rush to put one back on. No one else was getting changed.

AIIBU to think it was out of order for him to do that? I feel I want to report him as I'm just sick of men doing shit like this. I've had more than my fair share of poor treatment of every kind over the years and I'm absolutely sick of it. If he wanted to get changed he should have gone to the toilet. I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't feel he was any kind of threat but just WHY? No one was impressed.

AIBU to report him to the choir leader?

Do you feel now that it was inappropriate?

Please please please don’t encourage her to reply!

I'm sure a woman taking her time getting changed being told she was "inviting the male gaze" the way it's being implied this man was inviting the female gaze there'd be uproar

Just interested to know after the responses and the reflection time what the thought is.

I saw a man without a top on in Next yesterday, I was delighted.

You're being absolutely reasonable. He was in the wrong. Pretty simple really. Don't let the manpanderers and incels masquerading as women who flock to this site grind you down.

PS, anybody who attempts to start a bizarro world argument with me or pretends to be shocked and devastated by being accurately described as a manpanderer or incel will be laughed at 😘

So were you mildly or very uncomfortable?

@Nevernonono I don't mind being questioned but the way you're speaking to me is highly unpleasant. It's pathetic that you choose to be so foul to a complete stranger and an archetypal keyboard warrior hiding behind a screen.

Oh darling

Manpander?

Calling people men because they don't agree with you?

Classic

I think it's ok for a man to take his shirt off for example on a beach or in a park on a hot day, and also in a cloakroom for mixed sexes if he wants to change. Easily ignored by turning away.

Would you like being called a Karen?

Because Handmaiden is the same

Just trying to shut women up for having an opinion that differs from yours

You’ve embellished this situation so much…

in a corner then “right in the middle of a room”, which you posted in error, not just the middle of the room? No extra words to emphasise the point.

Now, it’s very mildly uncomfortable instead of very.

You don’t like being called out, so decide I’m unpleasant?

Really OP, this has been such a facade! You seem to take on a victim role a lot. If you’ve got an issue, just tell him? Your choir leader is not responsible for disciplining the members and deciding if he was right or wrong, as you see from this post, not everyone thinks the same! 81% think you’re wrong!

I’m Dave am I?

ok 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Women are “topless”. Men are “shirtless”.

I’m Dave am I?

I’ve been in situations, in shops and even on trains before where men - usually youngish lads - have taken their top off and changed into another. It’s never bothered me because I know they’ve only been changing.

I suppose only you can know whether or not this man was attempting to expose himself by baring his midriff or if he was just functionally changing his clothes.

But I don’t think changing a top is necessarily always inappropriate.

Oh dear, too much mulled cider?