To be annoyed about the guy who took his top off in a roomful of women?

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I belong to a community choir and we had our Christmas concert recently. There was a room set aside for us to put our bags and coats in. It was a small room and jam packed after the concert with people collecting their bags.

The make up of the choir is predominantly middle aged and older women with a small number of men.

After the concert finished, we all went to the room to retrieve our bags. When I walked in, one of the men was standing in the corner with his top off and he didn't seem to be in a rush to put one back on. No one else was getting changed.

AIIBU to think it was out of order for him to do that? I feel I want to report him as I'm just sick of men doing shit like this. I've had more than my fair share of poor treatment of every kind over the years and I'm absolutely sick of it. If he wanted to get changed he should have gone to the toilet. I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't feel he was any kind of threat but just WHY? No one was impressed.

AIBU to report him to the choir leader?

Hugging is a big no from me anyway I hate people invading my personal space! I would have called him out there and then and asked him to put his top on!

Too much Diamond White I reckon!

You’ve gone from ‘very’ uncomfortable in your original post to a tiny bit uncomfortable.

It's much more unhinged to get this worked up about seeing a man's chest for a minute or two.

But you are the person trying to get this man into trouble, for doing something so very normal as changing his top in the green room after a concert.

That seems a bit vindictive to me.

You've had several posts deleted now

Maybe stop?

Are you going to take in the posters that think you are being unreasonable or did you just post for validation?

@Ladyzfactoryes I was completely in the wrong and I was very ridiculous for even thinking what I thought because clearly I'm a vacuous idiot. Happy?

I agree with you OP. It’s on a par with manspreading

One is never in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable. We all have our boundaries for various reason.

AIIBU to think it was out of order for him to do that? I feel I want to report him as I'm just sick of men doing shit like this. I've had more than my fair share of poor treatment of every kind over the years and I'm absolutely sick of it. If he wanted to get changed he should have gone to the toilet. I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't feel he was any kind of threat but just WHY? No one was impressed

However, the issue is that you assume your feelings of discomfort meant that he was doing something so wrong, it was worthy of such judgemental and denigrating words.

This is why some posters reacted as they did. It's important to remember to differentiate between how some things make us feel and the criticism of someone's action, and turning the behaviour into generalisations (in your case, making a male problem).