To be annoyed about the guy who took his top off in a roomful of women?

[naturenaturenature]

I belong to a community choir and we had our Christmas concert recently. There was a room set aside for us to put our bags and coats in. It was a small room and jam packed after the concert with people collecting their bags.

The make up of the choir is predominantly middle aged and older women with a small number of men.

After the concert finished, we all went to the room to retrieve our bags. When I walked in, one of the men was standing in the corner with his top off and he didn't seem to be in a rush to put one back on. No one else was getting changed.

AIIBU to think it was out of order for him to do that? I feel I want to report him as I'm just sick of men doing shit like this. I've had more than my fair share of poor treatment of every kind over the years and I'm absolutely sick of it. If he wanted to get changed he should have gone to the toilet. I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't feel he was any kind of threat but just WHY? No one was impressed.

AIBU to report him to the choir leader?

so he took his top off, big deal! It’s not like he was standing there displaying his manhood! It sounds like you need some counselling as this has clearly triggered something in your past!

Do you complain about topless men at beaches?

😂😂😂

@Gallowayan yes. I have no idea why he took his top off our uniform is a t- shirt and trousers. He may have been going on somewhere else but the room we were in wasn't a changing room and he was the only man in there.

Is a bloke taking his top off in the corner of a changing/storage room abuse? Maybe he was just going to change his top but was doing that usual bloke thing of being very slow about it.
Kindly, I think you have some issues to address based on your history.

Are you offended by topless men at swimming baths too?

I think you can have a quiet word with the choir leader asking them to make a note at the next concert to remind people where they can and can't get changed. In my experience these crammed rooms after a performance are too small and it is polite to grab stuff and leave quickly to make room for others. It isn't appropriate to loiter and definitely not to get changed. A notice to all next time saying 'bags and coats are to be left in x room. The room is small so please be considerate of other users and grab your stuff as quickly as you can. Do not use it to change in - please use the toilets if you need to get changed before or after the concert'

🤣😂 I hope she was clutching her pearls too

Don’t ever do a hyrox competition!

@DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat why would I complain about topless men at beaches? This is a totally different situation and you know it.

Its not though, is it? The man was stood there with no top on, presumably hot? He wasn't been threatening. Its no different to the beach or the gym...

...and you know it 🙄

why do some of you feel need to be so horrible? Hope it brightens your day.

I wish my world was this simple and innocent.

He wasn’t being threatening he just had his top off so why would you report him? I don’t get it other than you found it annoying. He was in the corner of the room not prancing around the middle. You were all wearing an outfit it’s reasonable to suggest he was just getting changed.

You have been victim of male abuse & whilst that’s awful you can’t project that on others & especially if they wouldn’t know. I would get some therapy for that abuse. I think it’s highly unfair to report him you said no one was impressed so why not just have a giggle about it if you thought that was his intentions. Honestly, I would probably put it in the memory bank & see if anything odd happens in the future but I most certainly wouldn’t make a complaint on this alone. You’ll be basically accusing him of being a wrong un & that’s exactly how he’ll see it.

I think the fact that most people don’t see the issue with this shows that for whatever reason, your emotional response is unusual / extreme.

You can do whatever you want about the situation, but I think you posted here to check out if others agree with you. It’s clear that they don’t. So only you can decide what you want to do about that

Just to clarify, he did get changed, but he took a long time to put another top on?

If he was just quickly changing his top I wouldnt think too much of it.

But to stand around topless in that setting sounds performative. He wanted to be noticed which sounds like a dominance thing.

My DH will take his top off to do physical work, say on our allotment. However, when he comes off our plot he will put his top back on.

@DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHatSo why weren't any women do the same. Come on! These are mostly middle aged menopausal women !

Perhaps ask yourself that question. He was topless. He wasn't standing there, waving his penis around as the final act. Complaining about a topless man is very unnecessary.

Because clearly they didn't want to!

@GnomeDePlumethats my point! So sick of men trying to assert their male dominance in this way. He stood their for ages, right in the middle of a tightly packed room.

@DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat
i love your user name and am reading it in Hyancinth’s voice

The difference is that there is an expectation to see topless men at the pool/beach. Not so much in what’s basically a cloakroom.

Hahah thankyou 😃 also proud to say my daughter loves watching it too and she's only 4 😂

@DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat why don't you just go away now? You've made your point very clear and you're very unpleasant.

You’re getting responses that you don’t like, people saying they don’t agree with you! You sound like a petulant child calling them “horrible”!

Personally I think you’re being ridiculous, he was just getting changed. I doubt he was doing it to offend or upset anyone.