Page 17 | Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

Lockingthegins · 2025-12-20T22:03:56+00:00

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex. Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28. I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head I would be furious if I was his mum!

JohnofWessex · 21/12/2025 22:51

Zov · 21/12/2025 17:08

They're certainly not adults!

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He's male, never will be...............

I know, I'm 63

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/12/2025 23:10

I think posters just haven’t left their social circle.

UxmalFan · 21/12/2025 23:36

Zov · 21/12/2025 22:15

You cannot get married at 16, in England and Wales. The legal age for getting married is 18... At least try to get your facts straight.

16 year olds are NOT adults. I don't care if they can 'join the army...' 🙄So what? They can do very little else.

They can't drink booze, they can't hire a car, they can't drive, they can't buy alcohol, tobacco, vapes, fireworks, knives, lottery tickets, glue or spray paint until they're 18. They're still at bloody school til they're 18 going on 19...

That's why I maintain that it's a load of tripe that lots of 18 year olds OWN their own car. How the hell is an 18 year old buying their own car, when they're still in sixth form? 😂

And yes it is still rare for people aged 18 to own their own car, even if they live in the sticks. I live 'in the sticks' and hardly any 18 year olds can drive, and they certainly don't own their own bloody car!

This thread has reached farcical levels now, with people posting outlandish stuff in a desperate attempt to be 'right.'

I'll leave ya to it. CBA anymore.

I'm out...

.

Edited

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I was talking about 18 year olds, which is the age of the young man OP was talking about. 16 year olds are a red herring in this discussion.

PigletInABlanketJohn · 21/12/2025 23:43

Recent change.

www.gov.uk/government/news/legal-age-of-marriage-in-england-and-wales-rises-to-18

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 00:11

SexyFrenchDepression · 21/12/2025 17:03

You finish school at 16 in the UK. College is not school, they are certainly not school children.

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Not if you attend year 12 and 13 in school you don't, do you know anything about the UK education system?

ExamHellDoubled · 22/12/2025 00:20

Yeah for a grown woman of almost 30 that’s pretty grim. He’s only been allowed an adult bank card for a few months. How on earth do you assume someone to be so much younger than you but not ask their age?

SexyFrenchDepression · 22/12/2025 07:54

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 00:11

Not if you attend year 12 and 13 in school you don't, do you know anything about the UK education system?

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Yes, that is 6th form, they are not school children FFS. I feel sorry for those who are treated as such!

x2boys · 22/12/2025 07:57

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 00:11

Not if you attend year 12 and 13 in school you don't, do you know anything about the UK education system?

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But he wouldn't be in year 12/13 in school with him being 19 in April
Do you know anything about the English Education system ?
As it differs in other parts of the UK.

x2boys · 22/12/2025 07:58

ExamHellDoubled · 22/12/2025 00:20

Yeah for a grown woman of almost 30 that’s pretty grim. He’s only been allowed an adult bank card for a few months. How on earth do you assume someone to be so much younger than you but not ask their age?

Well in a 28 year old is classed as almost 30 then surely an 18 year old is almost 20?

SexyFrenchDepression · 22/12/2025 08:10

UxmalFan · 21/12/2025 23:36

I was talking about 18 year olds, which is the age of the young man OP was talking about. 16 year olds are a red herring in this discussion.

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There are a couple of posters on this thread who are insistent on banging on about 16 yos, or 18 yos who are school children (6th formers are not school children, even if they happen to attend at the same venue their school was). Unfortunately 18 yos are treated like children a lot of the time, there are threads on here all the time. Some at college are almost 19 by the time they finish but are considered school children? Not in the real world! Even so, totally non related to the thread anyway.

I get that without the OP actually knowing the guys age he could have been 16 or 17 which is grim as technically still legally a child but if 18 is not an adult, who has now decided what age is? They are generally not mature adults, but then nor are some 30 yo blokes.

SexyFrenchDepression · 22/12/2025 08:14

x2boys · 22/12/2025 07:57

But he wouldn't be in year 12/13 in school with him being 19 in April
Do you know anything about the English Education system ?
As it differs in other parts of the UK.

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Exactly, someone whose birthday was in September they are 18 for ages whilst in Y13, doesnt make them less of an adult. I was and got a full time job by the end of that summer and rented a house (shared), bought a car. I am fairly sure I was an adult at that point as I wouldnt have legally been able to sign a contract.

x2boys · 22/12/2025 08:18

SexyFrenchDepression · 22/12/2025 08:14

Exactly, someone whose birthday was in September they are 18 for ages whilst in Y13, doesnt make them less of an adult. I was and got a full time job by the end of that summer and rented a house (shared), bought a car. I am fairly sure I was an adult at that point as I wouldnt have legally been able to sign a contract.

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Yep and someone with an August birthday could potentially be leaving home and starting university within weeks of becoming a legal adult .

SoulSearchBeHonest · 22/12/2025 08:30

DeathStare · 20/12/2025 22:14

Well you lucked out didn't you? He could just as easily have been 17. Next time check.

This. Check. It's legal but yuck. Some will think its great though

Imdunfer · 22/12/2025 08:40

KimberleyClark · 21/12/2025 13:14

An 18 year old could easily still be at school if they have an early birthday. My DN is in their first year of sixth form - the pay had their 17th birthday in September this year. They will be 18 in September next year. They will remain 18 until the end of the school year. Still ok for a 28 year old to shag them?

Still ok for a 28 year old to shag them?

Why not?

When I was at school one of the lads was having an affair with a glamorous woman old enough to be his mother. He even brought her to see the school play, our eyes (and the teachers') were out on stalks. During the summer holidays we were together a bit through a mutual friend and he talked about her. He knew it wasn't anything but a sexual relationship for her when her husband was away on business, and he was completely at ease with what he was getting out of it. We also learnt it was possible to have a burst a blood vessel in your penis spray all over the fireside rug, but that's another story entirely!

He did think he was God's gift to women and I've always wondered how he later got on with younger women who weren't "Desperate Housewives". On the whole, the feeling of his peers at the time was sorry for her, not worry for him.

SexyFrenchDepression · 22/12/2025 09:07

KimberleyClark · 21/12/2025 13:14

An 18 year old could easily still be at school if they have an early birthday. My DN is in their first year of sixth form - the pay had their 17th birthday in September this year. They will be 18 in September next year. They will remain 18 until the end of the school year. Still ok for a 28 year old to shag them?

It doesnt make them less of an 18 yo surely? She will be an adult for almost a year before finishing Y13 (not school FFS). Does that mean she shouldn't be able to do things 18 yos who are at colleges or apprenticeships/full tome jobs do?

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 09:46

x2boys · 22/12/2025 07:57

But he wouldn't be in year 12/13 in school with him being 19 in April
Do you know anything about the English Education system ?
As it differs in other parts of the UK.

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But again, you are being disingenuous or just lack comprehension skills as way back on this thread (as I'm sure you know) I was responding to the seedy poster that claimed a 17 year old is passed the age of consent consent so it's absolutely fine to have sex with them, even if you are nearly 30 years old- which Incidentally, despite what you make out, is a perfectly acceptable, sociallly acceptable rounding up age when you are twenty f**king 8!! 17 is indeed a sixth form age but even at 18 you must have some piss poor standards if you think this makes any difference morally - some posters seem to be desperate to assure themselves that this is not saddo behaviour!

x2boys · 22/12/2025 09:51

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 09:46

But again, you are being disingenuous or just lack comprehension skills as way back on this thread (as I'm sure you know) I was responding to the seedy poster that claimed a 17 year old is passed the age of consent consent so it's absolutely fine to have sex with them, even if you are nearly 30 years old- which Incidentally, despite what you make out, is a perfectly acceptable, sociallly acceptable rounding up age when you are twenty f**king 8!! 17 is indeed a sixth form age but even at 18 you must have some piss poor standards if you think this makes any difference morally - some posters seem to be desperate to assure themselves that this is not saddo behaviour!

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I think you need to step back a bit from this thread you are not making any sense
If its all right to round a 28 year old womens age up to 30
Why is it not all right to round a nearly 19 year old man's age up to 20 you can't have it both ways.

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 10:06

x2boys · 22/12/2025 09:51

I think you need to step back a bit from this thread you are not making any sense
If its all right to round a 28 year old womens age up to 30
Why is it not all right to round a nearly 19 year old man's age up to 20 you can't have it both ways.

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Developmentally, the changes are quite a bit greater at 18, compared to 28!

KimberleyClark · 22/12/2025 10:09

This thread is beyond grim. I had no idea there were so many creepy, sleazy women out there who think it’s ok for mature grown women to hit on teenagers.

And as for this

When I was at school one of the lads was having an affair with a glamorous woman old enough to be his mother. He even brought her to see the school play, our eyes (and the teachers') were out on stalks. During the summer holidays we were together a bit through a mutual friend and he talked about her. He knew it wasn't anything but a sexual relationship for her when her husband was away on business, and he was completely at ease with what he was getting out of it.

would you have been ok with one of your school friends having an affair with a man old enough to be her father?

Cornishwafer · 22/12/2025 10:13

x2boys · 21/12/2025 11:02

Whats wrong with a 28 year old and 21 year old?

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Nothing at all.
21 (the age OP thought he was) is very much a young adult...she's done nothing wrong...I hope this thread doesn't make her feel bad.

When my ds reaches 18, I'd rather he had a ONS with a woman in her twenties thoughtful enough to be shocked when she finds out his true age over a girl of 15 who he thought was 16 or a woman his own age who had a negative impact or caused problems. That said, id likely never find out about my sons ONS unless he came to me for advice.

I dont think a 21 yo dating a 27 year old is particularly shocking depending on the mindset and maturity of both parties.

If 18 year old are considered boys by their parents, thats just odd....they're young adults.

4forksache · 22/12/2025 10:17

A lot of men have an older woman story. You’ll have taught him tricks he can use in future. No wonder he was grinning!

Sartre · 22/12/2025 10:18

Gosh, you’re lucky he wasn’t under 18. It’s tricky, especially if you met in a nightclub and assumed he’d be legal age but fake IDs and lax security exist. I’m 4 years older than you and teach young adults this age, I’d never find them even remotely attractive- even my 21/22 year old final years. But you were drunk I guess and not thinking straight.

Imdunfer · 22/12/2025 10:35

KimberleyClark · 22/12/2025 10:09

This thread is beyond grim. I had no idea there were so many creepy, sleazy women out there who think it’s ok for mature grown women to hit on teenagers.

And as for this

When I was at school one of the lads was having an affair with a glamorous woman old enough to be his mother. He even brought her to see the school play, our eyes (and the teachers') were out on stalks. During the summer holidays we were together a bit through a mutual friend and he talked about her. He knew it wasn't anything but a sexual relationship for her when her husband was away on business, and he was completely at ease with what he was getting out of it.

would you have been ok with one of your school friends having an affair with a man old enough to be her father?

would you have been ok with one of your school friends having an affair with a man old enough to be her father?

Yes if she felt the same way about it as the boy, why on earth not? Older men have a lot to offer. They can be good looking, tend to have manners, experience at sex rather than a rumbling novice, and usually have plenty of money. I wouldn't approve of she knew they man had a wife, because men tend to leave wives for pretty young things which isn't normally the case with older women and teenage boys.

This thread/forum is so afraid of confronting the fact that sex is normal at any ages that it falls to realise that many of these relationships are entirely normal and often beneficial to both parties.

x2boys · 22/12/2025 10:53

KimberleyClark · 22/12/2025 10:09

This thread is beyond grim. I had no idea there were so many creepy, sleazy women out there who think it’s ok for mature grown women to hit on teenagers.

And as for this

When I was at school one of the lads was having an affair with a glamorous woman old enough to be his mother. He even brought her to see the school play, our eyes (and the teachers') were out on stalks. During the summer holidays we were together a bit through a mutual friend and he talked about her. He knew it wasn't anything but a sexual relationship for her when her husband was away on business, and he was completely at ease with what he was getting out of it.

would you have been ok with one of your school friends having an affair with a man old enough to be her father?

I dont think the Op did think its OK to hit on an 18 year olds ,but she presumably met him in a place that only allowed adults in ,and he looked older ,some 18 year olds can and do look a lot than they are ,im the mother of one
Its not likes she's hanging around the local youth club ( do these still exist?)
Preying on 14 year olds like some posters are trying to insinuate
Neither does it like she's going to pursue a relationship

KimberleyClark · 22/12/2025 10:57

x2boys · 22/12/2025 10:53

I dont think the Op did think its OK to hit on an 18 year olds ,but she presumably met him in a place that only allowed adults in ,and he looked older ,some 18 year olds can and do look a lot than they are ,im the mother of one
Its not likes she's hanging around the local youth club ( do these still exist?)
Preying on 14 year olds like some posters are trying to insinuate
Neither does it like she's going to pursue a relationship

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I wasn’t talking about the OP, she appears to have made an honest mistake and to give her her due is horrified about it. It’s some of the responses that are grim.