Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

@GoldsolesLugs and @x2boys To begin with that is not the subject of this thread, but l assume you accept that men and women are different.

It goes beyond the sex, it is likely that the male would be physically stronger. That in itself is a personal safety risk, several things have already been mentioned up thread. There is a risk of grooming, coercion and rape; and before you question the latter it is quite possible for certain acts to turn sex with consent to rape.

Just last week, and the one before that, and before that, there are posts right here absolutely slating any man who gets with a young woman as predatory, weird, woman-hating, lacking self-confidence, misogynistic aresholes. Now it's a night he'll remember, and 18 is still legal. How the turn tables have turned.

This. There’s such a harmful double standard on this thread, that boys aren’t harmed by sexual contact with older predatory women, that they are lucky. Maybe some posters need to listen to the podcast series Lucky Boy. Yes the predatory older woman in that podcast was a teacher, but her victim was still thought of as lucky.

I I dont think you understand what a one night stand is ?
Its one night of consensual sex there would be no time for grooming
And yes rape and coercion is a risk
But it's a risk wether the man is 18 or 40.

I don’t need educating about one night stands or being 18, although 40 something now. But l do know there can be a risk of after threats which can have a grooming knock on, and consent for one type of sex does not provide automatic consent for another.

So, we agree to differ, merry Christmas! 🎄

What age though? Obviously if it's a young boy it's predatory and damaging but that's not the same situation as a young adult man at all.

Assuming completely consensual sex, what's the difference?

They are probably not the same posters though are they? And OP did say that when he admitted his age he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. This is MN when, if there is much of an age difference between adults, many posters express strong opinions, especially when it's a young adult.

If this post is genuine, then I have a sneaking suspicion that he was fully aware that OP thought he was older. As up to that point OP had a good time, then there's been no harm done.

I have seen posts from discomforted parents where their 18+ DC (sometimes 16+) are wanting to sleep with their GF/BF in the family home (sometimes they aready are) and the general gist is suck it up, they are adults, you can't police their sex life, etc. Then you get posts like this where posters are calling the OP grim and icky (as though she's some sort of deviant) - some are getting very hot under the collar about it - and some are calling the 18yo a schoolboy or a child implying he is going to be somehow negatively affected and maybe scarred for life. MN is the epitome of double standards!

@Goldenbear

No, you need to stop protesting too much, it is perfectly normal to round up 'Adults' over 25 to indicate an approximate stage in life. If you are over 28, 38, 48 it is not surprising to do that.

I have never ever heard anyone round up someone's age to their next decade, it's not 'perfectly normal' at all and, if you did that, some people might take offence at you adding on a couple of years. You could say the OP is in her late 20s, OR just state her actual age. Why don't you call OP 28, the age we know she is?

And it's certainly not the same as an adult young man picking up women in a bar!

Someone was saying a 17 year old is a schoolkid. Well not necessarily. College student( even uni in scotland) apprentice or even any job that had training as well. All those 17 year olds are not schoolkids