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Original poster

Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
Inthewrongtimezone · 22/12/2025 14:09

I don't see what the problem is.

Two adults, one 10 years older than the other, consent to a sexual experience together and they both enjoy the experience.
The end.
Bit of a non story really.

Makemeanonymous · 22/12/2025 15:28

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 12:33

I had a 34 year old boyfriend at 18. Had a great time 🤷‍♀️

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Well good for you.

Unfortunately the same can't be said for the vast numbers of young women who are groomed, controlled and exploited by older men.

tartyflette · 22/12/2025 15:51

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

Well, DS looks much younger than his years and would regularly get carded into his late 20s. He looked very boyish, and still does, quite the babyface. Much to his chagrin

tartyflette · 22/12/2025 15:53

And DS had friends who at 16 looked more like 26, could grow a full beard, had no trouble getting served in pubs.

x2boys · 22/12/2025 16:05

tartyflette · 22/12/2025 15:53

And DS had friends who at 16 looked more like 26, could grow a full beard, had no trouble getting served in pubs.

Exactly my son had a full beard at 16 ,and looks mid 20,s at least.

Illegally18 · 22/12/2025 17:45

Needmorelego · 22/12/2025 12:28

Yes but I doubt that's where the OP met her 18 year old (especially as she thought he was 21) because why would a 28 year old be going to a youth club.

Edited
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Exactly.

Illegally18 · 22/12/2025 17:48

x2boys · 22/12/2025 12:48

You need to stop this ,if a 28 year old women is nearly 30 ,than it stands to reason an 18 year old man is nearly 20 ,
Stop trying to make the age gap wider ,to try and make it look worse

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Exactly. It's hardly bill wyman/mandy Smith territory, is it?

notacooldad · 22/12/2025 17:54

Exactly. It's hardly bill wyman/mandy Smith territory, is it?
I wish MN had been around while that was kicking off! 😆 🤣

Illegally18 · 22/12/2025 20:17

notacooldad · 22/12/2025 17:54

Exactly. It's hardly bill wyman/mandy Smith territory, is it?
I wish MN had been around while that was kicking off! 😆 🤣

Indeed.

But the question that has always bothered me about it, is what did they talk about? And how could he stand the mentality of a 13 year old?

Thechaseison71 · 22/12/2025 20:28

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 00:11

Not if you attend year 12 and 13 in school you don't, do you know anything about the UK education system?

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It's not complusary to do year 12/13 though

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 20:56

Thechaseison71 · 22/12/2025 20:28

It's not complusary to do year 12/13 though

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You have to legally be in education or training up until the age of 18 in England. Where did I state it is compulsory to be in a sixth form in the school. I was pointing out the absurdity profoundly weird suggestion of a 17 year old being fair game as over the age of consent, it was in response to a specific poster who referred to the age of 17 not the OP. This has now been explained about 6 times, just read the thread and process it maybe!

Needmorelego · 22/12/2025 20:59

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 20:56

You have to legally be in education or training up until the age of 18 in England. Where did I state it is compulsory to be in a sixth form in the school. I was pointing out the absurdity profoundly weird suggestion of a 17 year old being fair game as over the age of consent, it was in response to a specific poster who referred to the age of 17 not the OP. This has now been explained about 6 times, just read the thread and process it maybe!

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You don't have to "legally" be in education or training though.
That's actually untrue.
You can actually go and get a full time job and it's perfectly fine.
You also keep saying "the UK school system".
There's no such thing.
There's 4 different systems.

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 23:07

Needmorelego · 22/12/2025 20:59

You don't have to "legally" be in education or training though.
That's actually untrue.
You can actually go and get a full time job and it's perfectly fine.
You also keep saying "the UK school system".
There's no such thing.
There's 4 different systems.

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Goodness your comprehension skills are questionable, I've literally stated, "in England". No, you are wrong you IN ENGLAND you legally have to be in training of some kind, can be with a job but you can't be in full time employment without it involving training or education; "Between their school leaving age and 18, a young person in England must do one of the following:

-full-time education or training, such as school or college
-work-based learning, such as an apprenticeship
-working or volunteering (for 20 hours or more a week) while in part-time education or training."

I REPEAT IN ENGLAND!!

Needmorelego · 22/12/2025 23:15

Goldenbear · 22/12/2025 23:07

Goodness your comprehension skills are questionable, I've literally stated, "in England". No, you are wrong you IN ENGLAND you legally have to be in training of some kind, can be with a job but you can't be in full time employment without it involving training or education; "Between their school leaving age and 18, a young person in England must do one of the following:

-full-time education or training, such as school or college
-work-based learning, such as an apprenticeship
-working or volunteering (for 20 hours or more a week) while in part-time education or training."

I REPEAT IN ENGLAND!!

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Yes... I know IN ENGLAND.
The third option means you can have a full time job which includes in-work training (which I have known several 16/17 year olds do).
🙄

HelloDenise · 22/12/2025 23:19

Not quite the same but I just remembered I had a few dates with a 21 year old at 15 as well. I met him at a youth club disco and I'm puzzled what he was doing there.

SergeantWrinkles · 22/12/2025 23:21

Monica, is that you?!

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 23:22

Makemeanonymous · 22/12/2025 15:28

Well good for you.

Unfortunately the same can't be said for the vast numbers of young women who are groomed, controlled and exploited by older men.

Show quote history

I’m sorry for them but I certainly wasn’t. It was absolutely my choice. We taught each other a great deal and had a lot of fun.

GoldsolesLugs · 23/12/2025 00:36

No, you're fine. When an older man fucks a younger woman it invariably traumatises her for life, regardless of whether or not she foolishly thinks she enjoyed it at the time. Fortunately though, you're a woman and you fucked a younger man, in which case it leads to happy memories and the learning of a few tricks which will make his future girlfriends happy!

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2025 00:40

Didn’t traumatise me.

Makemeanonymous · 23/12/2025 04:07

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 23:22

I’m sorry for them but I certainly wasn’t. It was absolutely my choice. We taught each other a great deal and had a lot of fun.

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You were 16 years younger than him.

He was old enough to be your father.

Given you were an 18 year old teenager that does not make it an equal and healthy relationship.

Having " fun" with a teenage girl young enough to be his daughter makes him sound seriously creepy.

StarlightLady · 23/12/2025 06:48

ilovepixie · 20/12/2025 22:19

If it was a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old girl would the responses be the same?

Can we stop pretending that both sexes are the same? For starters, a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old woman is not what we are discussing here. And if it was, there is likely to be a a power imbalance.

No harm was caused here. OP, enjoy grinning like a cheshire cat and have a good Christmas. Would it have been so different if he was 365 days older?

GoldsolesLugs · 23/12/2025 08:45

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2025 00:40

Didn’t traumatise me.

I was being sarcastic about the double standard.

GoldsolesLugs · 23/12/2025 08:46

StarlightLady · 23/12/2025 06:48

Can we stop pretending that both sexes are the same? For starters, a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old woman is not what we are discussing here. And if it was, there is likely to be a a power imbalance.

No harm was caused here. OP, enjoy grinning like a cheshire cat and have a good Christmas. Would it have been so different if he was 365 days older?

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Can you explain precisely what the difference is?

x2boys · 23/12/2025 09:07

StarlightLady · 23/12/2025 06:48

Can we stop pretending that both sexes are the same? For starters, a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old woman is not what we are discussing here. And if it was, there is likely to be a a power imbalance.

No harm was caused here. OP, enjoy grinning like a cheshire cat and have a good Christmas. Would it have been so different if he was 365 days older?

Show quote history

Why is not the same ?
And what power imbalance would there be on a one night stand 🤔

OneShyQuail · 23/12/2025 10:14

elevenpiperspiping · 21/12/2025 09:52

Yuck. I have an 18yr old DS, him and his friends all look like boys. There’s no way you’d be thinking any of them are over 21.

Not all 18 year olds look and act like this though 🤦‍♀️