Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

I know, I agree it's profoundly weird!

Our youth centre is for young people aged 13-21 which tells you all you need to know about what is considered, 'youth' as distinct from adults in their late 20s.

When your son is 18 you'd rather he had ONS with a woman who is nearly 30, I would say that is a pretty unconventional attitude to parenting you have there!

Yes but I doubt that's where the OP met her 18 year old (especially as she thought he was 21) because why would a 28 year old be going to a youth club.

One of my nephews at 18 (almost 19) was working full time on a management training scheme.
If in his free time he decides to go to.a pub/club and have a one night stand....well that's his business.

I had a 34 year old boyfriend at 18. Had a great time 🤷‍♀️

I said I'd rather that than he slept with a 15 yo he thought was 16 because thats illegal..or a girl his own age who caused him issues (controlling etc.) they're not all perfect.

Me too. It went on for a few months whilst travelling. We still email each other every now and again actually.

I did think about it when I got to 28 and thought it was a bit odd of him. I don’t think I would have done it the other way round. But I’m not disturbed by it all these (30) years later

We both grew up, got married, had kids and happy lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

You need to stop this ,if a 28 year old women is nearly 30 ,than it stands to reason an 18 year old man is nearly 20 ,
Stop trying to make the age gap wider ,to try and make it look worse

I would find it far more worrying if a 21 year old wanted to hang around with a 13 year old!
21 despute yoyr insistence is very much an adult compared to a 13 year old
I was a fully qualified nurse at 22.

No, you need to stop protesting too much, it is perfectly normal to round up 'Adults' over 25 to indicate an approximate stage in life. If you are over 28, 38, 48 it is not surprising to do that. Youth is different and this a socially recognised norm hence different minimum wages, and youth services for housing and generally more supportive services. From 16-25 people experience many emotionally development changes. It can hardly be said about someone 26-35, I mean who says that?

The youth centre doesn't mix that whole age group, the point is 'Youth' services from the centre are available up to 21. Unsurprisingly, these are not available for someone nearly 30!

How do you know of this predicting issues and lies, seems quite strange speculation. If he does meet someone his own age are you going to be disappointed!

Your 'nephew'? How is that the same thing as your son?

Our youth centre is for young people aged 13-21 which tells you all you need to know about what is considered, 'youth' as distinct from adults in their late 20s.

There are many sides of looking at age groups. For example Sociologists use the term "emerging adulthood" to describe the period between 18 and 29 so both the man and woman on this thread fit into this demographic.

I don't have a son.
I was using him as an example.
I may have not given birth to him but he's part of my family.

It doesn't mean they are not adults though
I mean my sons under the young person team for diabetes, becsuse hes 19 next week but hes still an adult.

I didn't have a boyfriend but I had someone who pursued me that was early 40s when I was early 20s, now I'm just a bit older than him, I think it was exploitative and absolutely gross of him. I also think, why couldn't he attract people his own age. He was completely gutted that I didn't want a relationship with him and couldn't understand why I wanted to be with my husband now (20 years younger) than him.

Emerging adult up to 29, I've never heard of that before. Sounds like a convenient descriptor for pervs! (Joke)

I mean thsts fine you're attracted to who you are attracted but some age gap relationship, s do work for some people ,there is nothing inherently wrong with someone in their 20,s having a relationship with someone ,whom is 40.

I just think there is a massive power imbalance (on a whole) and that's known by the older person. This guy was a Director in the company I worked for and I do think fetishised my youth, his references were always about my cuteness, my innocence, he was behind me on the stairs once and smacked me on the backside with a folder, many comments on my cute arse and how he couldn't help himself. He said other stuff and it was a total power imbalance, he knew I didn't have the wisdom or the position in the workplace to sort this out, I just left in the end! That's purely down to age.

Now I'm a couple of years older I just think WTH!

Each to their own. Was fun while it lasted. My husband of 37 years is 6 years older than me.

Well obviously he was s sleaze
But there would be no power imbalance if you were both doing the same job
When I was a young nurse I often worked with peoole much older than me that I supervised
As I got older I also worked with people much younger than me that were my managers.

Goldenbear * Emerging adult up to 29, I've never heard of that before. Sounds like a convenient descriptor for pervs! (Joke)

To be fair i hadn't either but this thread has sucked me in and its interesting how attitudes get blended with each layer of age eg from what constitutes as being an adult. In the eyes of the law, its 18 in the uk but people are getting upset when an adult does an adult thing with some a bit older, and how people have got side tracked about education, college and so on, also people saying 'There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man' when legally they are both the same.

Its been a good thread, but a bit bonkers at times!