Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

No, we’ve been through this. Not school aged. First year uni age. An adult. A young one, but very much not a child.

Also, “a mature woman” - she’s in her 20s. A mature woman makes her sound like she’s middle aged.

Depends.
If the OP had hung around the gates of the local school chatting up the 18 year olds she likes the look of then that's not good and very ewww.
If she met an 18 year old (who happens to still be in 6th Form/college) at a pub/bar/club then it is different because she wouldn't automatically think "school boy".

18 year old man.
Not a "schoolboy".

People saying check-what are you supposed to do-ask for ID!!!! I am sure he is thrilled with the situation! Don't sweat it.

At the end of the day if a 28 yo man has a ONS with a woman who says they were 18+ but turns out to be 15 then they could be in trouble. It isnt enough to say they told me that they were 18. If you want to protect yourself then you would want to be 100% certain. If that means not sleeping with someone you dont know, or getting some sort of proof then so be it. Not saying its ok that people lie but that's not a legal defence if it's one word against another.

Obviously the OPs situation is different as the person was legally an adult so all works out well!

Staying power?

Very curious thread, a recent thread on here had a 33 year old ex sleeping with a younger woman in this range, can’t recall she was 21 I think and people were calling him a paedo, when he had said he also didn’t know.

What an icky answer, what because 27 year olds don’t have it?

utterly creepy.

Oh come on, it's a non thread. Anyone who thinks their opinion over who is sleeping with whom has any influence on anyone is being really odd.
Personally I don't care who does what providing they are over the age of consent, are freely able to consent, and that it's legal.
Sex is a part of life. People do what they want. Get over it.

Yep typical mumsnet.

Honestly I think a lot of the discomfort here is women who have sons that age.

Yes, could not give a toss what consenting adults do

My son is that age ,whilst I wouldn't be overjoyed about it ,theres nothing i could do about it becsuse despite the infantilising,on here hes an adult ,hes not a school boy as some posters are trying to suggest
Also its a one night stand i had a a few on my single days so it would be pretty hypocritical of me to judge.

18 is schoolboy age.

Hes 19 in April so will have left education last June, my son is 19 on Boxing day and hasent been a school boy for nearly three years.

This. If it had been the other way around, the responses would have been very different. 🙄

This is when we find out his mum is on here.

Only if he actually is at school.
Most 18 (almost 19) year olds aren't.

Wow, so you think a man of 27-28 doesn't have 'staying power' in the sack, and a teenager will be better. 😂 Not gonna lie, I genuinely feel sorry for you if this is your experience!

Typical double standards that you often see on here.

Honestly I think a lot of the discomfort here is women who have sons that age

At 18 ds1 had left home and had been working for the two years since he left school. H was driving, had his own car and was acting like a fully functioning adult. Why would I care who he had a ONS with as long as it was consensual.

Similar to ds2, he had left college and was house sharing and working.
I certainly didnt see my 18 year old as boys.
They were/ are entitled to a private life I dont need to know what goes on.

Oh come on! The situation your son was in at 18 is not likely to be that way for the vast majority of 18 year olds. I can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of teenagers I have ever known who have their own CAR. Most young people can't even get a bloody driving test for half a year these days! And if they fail, they have to wait another half a year for another test! And the vast majority of people I know (under 40 especially) certainly didn't leave school at 16. (As you say your older son did.)

And your other son was house sharing with people as a teenager, and also working and completely independent, and paying his own way?!

They are definitely the exception to the rule, and it's farcical to suggest that most teenagers will be in the same position. You're deluded if you think that!

Unless your sons were born in the 1950s, (or earlier in the 20th century!) I find their situations extremely rare.

Hmm think of the darts player Luke littler. He's 18 but looks older than my 22 year old ds

What? All the 18 year olds I know had cars except one

You finish school at 16 in the UK. College is not school, they are certainly not school children.