Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

[DeadlyDead]

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Did she think you wouldn't find out?
Invasion of your privacy. Ask her to take it down. If she won't then you part company.

You have to let her go. If she has donethat - what else has she done? What else might she do?

Agreed.
Show some Christmas kindness OP and let it go. Maybe give her a nice big bonus so she can treat herself.

Bit dramatic. She’s not likely to strip the house of all the furnishings when the OP is out shopping.

Wasn’t there a thread a few weeks ago where a cleaner had been caught out doing exactly this? I can’t think for the life of me what it was called though.
I think you summed it up perfectly sarkykitty. It’s a huge risk.

I’d certainly take back keys! She might USE your home as hers in future. So weird.

Just when I was thinking of getting a cleaner!

Even if you feel sorry for her, this has crossed a line and i wouldn't be able to trust her again.

Do you have a public home instagram account and did she get photos from there? Or has she actually taken these photos in your house and posted them? Neither excuse her behaviour, but if you share photos online of your beautiful house it’s not so much of a security concern as the photos are out there, so to speak. However, her behaviour is weird and very unprofessional and I would be getting rid of her. Glad my cleaner is older and barely knows how to use a mobile phone!

Please comment on the thread -
“ Gorgeous! You have fantastic taste!” and see what happens 😅

😂😂

The main thing that would bother me is that she’s a fantasist. If she has any of her own friends in that group, they’ll know it’s not her house and think wtf

I want to see your house now! And be inspired!

but seriously I wouldn’t let someone in my house again who posts pictures of my house on socials and pretends it’s hers. That’s completely out of order and an abuse of trust.

I don’t think that is likely- no. But - this is definitely not balanced behaviour. I do find it quite sinister - does she not know anyone on the group who would know it’s not her house? She has a key and access to probably everything that is most valuable to the op. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who had their identity stolen by a lodger. They photographed my paperwork and took out credit cards in my name. They were also on the point of moving out and were also able to put all their new utilities in my name. Then did a bunk - never found- leaving me owing £8000.

It’s pretty creepy tbh.

Blimey, that is unhinged

My god, what a mug!

I think you need to wake up Op. She’s acting quite unhinged and is very deceitful. If she lied about this to a potentially large audience and betrayed your privacy and trust, she’s not really trustworthy and yet she has your keys? I don’t care how good a cleaner she was I’d end the contract/arrangement.

Seems a bit stalkerish to me

This is a woman that the OP has known and chatted with for years. In that situation, I would at least want to try to understand why she had done such an apparently crazy thing.

Wow. She must be feeling really low to need to do something like this to feel good. It’s not right, but I think I would let it go. She’s sad, not bad.

Feels a bit creepy in a Channel 5 drama kind of way.

I did. On Monday, after we parted ways (so before I left the house and she took the photos). Gave her a generous cash bonus, wine, biscuits, and a bottle of perfume (same as one I have because she’s always complimenting it- I just realised that’s not helping the Single White Female image!!)

For those saying her family and friends would surely notice. She’s British but we live in a different European country and she doesn’t have family here and never really talks about them visiting (her elderly parents are in England and she travels to them regularly). I’m not sure re: friends. She rarely mentions plans to meet friends over weekends etc. She’s a single mum to three young kids, works part time and then does cleaning on the side a few days a week. One of her children is disabled. I’m guessing she doesn’t have too much time for socialising.

That's pretty messed up. Never would she step foot on my property again.