Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

[DeadlyDead]

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Before you do anything I’d get my keys back, otherwise she may get another one cut.

I’m sorry but that’s weird and a step too far. I would contact the page admin and ask them to take it down.

Thing is, this is what you know about. Has she done anything else you don’t know about? That’s the dilemma I’d be in. Yes the photos are flattering but what does she do when you aren’t around, have friends around? The point is you don’t know but for me any trust would be broken regardless of how nice she is or how well she cleans.

Tell her your (male friend?’s) gardener had posted a pic of your friend’s new expensive car online making it sound like it was his,(friend) is really mad as she also wrote a derogatory remark about him,he is definitely gonna get fired shame as he’d worked there for years

Eh?

As a professional cleaner myself, it is the only right thing to ask permission for things like this. As a rule, unless doing an end of tenancy where pictures are necessary for the client to use, I don't take photos at all. I understand why many do which is fine but I don't as I feel there is always a smidgen of dignity taken away from the client even though they may have said it's fine – but whatever the caes permission is always paramount! Definitely talk with your cleaner about this. Good luck 🙏🙏

I'd get my keys back and tell her i no longer wanted her to clean for me, and why.
Her personal circumstances, her motivation, whether it was 'a compliment' or not are all irrelevant. She has abused a position of trust and posted images of your private home on a public forum without your consent. She has shown herself capable of deceit. These aren't things that can be overlooked in a person whose job gives them full unsupervised access to your home.
Its sad that she felt the need to do that, as clearly she has issues. But yours is a professional relationship not a charitable one or a friendship and you're entitled to the professionalism you're paying for.

I'd be livid, that's an invasion of your privacy.

I would do a post stating its your home not hers and she had no right to take pictures and fire her immediately its a massive breach of trust and unethical !!

Ill bet your decorations are ten times better than her own.
People pretend to be more than they are on social media all the time.
I'd take it as a complement and not embarrass her.

Thing is...has she tried your knickers on and sent selfies to people too. Just saying, where theres one rat there's 50 more hiding.

Beyond strange behaviour. Tell her to take the post down and hand back your keys!!! Start looking for a new cleaner!

I would comment on the post. Think i feel a bit sorry for her to be honest.

It’s very weird behaviour. She is not saying “look at this beautiful home”, she is pretending it is her home and her belongings. I know there are a lot of people doing this on the internet, it’s a bit sad even if there is no malice in it. But no way would I continue employing her based on that and the fact she is in a position of trust with access to keys and personal items.

I am on the fence on this one. They are photos of the inside of the house, not the outside. So it shouldn't pose a security risk? It is a bit creepy and it sounds like the cleaner is trying to live vicariously through the OP's life.

It’s a breach of trust in my opinion..taking photos of your house of your decorations to then present as her own on social media… she could be bloody Mrs Hinch for all I care 😂 but I would still sack her … confront her with the pics, instant dismissal and tell her if you will be asked for references then you will have to say what she did… plenty of people looking for work who will be excellent, grateful for work and not betray you … actually is Mrs Hinch still a thing?! But you get my drift 😂

OMG ....how weird

Now, if you want to let her know, you know, without directly addressing it, I would leave a comment on the post. Go to where she says she got something from her Nan years ago, and leave a comment like “oh my God I have that same candlestick. I got it in Next in 2019!” And then just leave it. She will know that you know. But you don’t have to address it directly if you don’t want to.

We do have a key safe so perhaps that is what they said (because it is quite unlike us to get that organised !). But they definitely said don't give a copy for them to take.

I would start looking and putting away valuables..... That is so so bad. Borderline psychotic. Get rid of and get out of your comfort zone get a new cleaner.

Nope! She’s dishonest and that’s weird!!!

Take the keys and change your door locks. Can't be trusted.

Fu**ing hell! Get the keys off her and change your burglar alarm code asap!!!

Nope.

Read the update, OP feels very uncomfortable about it as most normal people would and has made the wise decision to terminate the arrangement with her. Her aim isn’t to embarrass the cleaner just to get her out of her house/life. The cleaner may well be embarrassed but that’s on her.

And btw this is clearly a bit more than “pretending to be more than they are” on social media. It isn’t remotely normal or sane behaviour. It’s very creepy and intrusive as well as unprofessional.