Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

So uninvite him then

@raspberrieswithchocolate

I also feel sorry for the stepson, I hope he doesn't find out his own father is 'fuming' at the idea of having him around for Christmas, it will deeply hurt him to know he's unwanted by his own parent. I'm sure he's already picked up on his stepmum's dislike of him, which is bad enough.

I know, right? the dad is "fuming" at the prospect of spending Christmas with his own child. And people think this is OK because the dad's partner wants to get pissed and the stepson is cramping her style.

My dad had two sons before he married my mum and had my sister and I. It wasn't always plain sailing by a long chalk, and there were issues there, but hell would freeze over before he would have allowed my mum to push his eldest children out. They were always welcome in our home at any time of year, particularly at Christmas. Anyone who freezes out children from a previous family is an arsehole.

I find it breathtaking that people are trying to defend this.

Why do you feel that them not drinking makes them simply a spectator? Surely they can still join in with the fun and games, even if they're not drinking.

Perfectly fine... if your not in charge of small children.

You are free to take the risk that you might make a tit of yourself but must accept if you do that people can 'remember' that to the end of time though. Since you used the word 'fucked' you need to remember that 'the Dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed' and any embarrassment and/or consequences of your actions will still exist and need facing with a hangover.

If you are willing to accept responsibility of any actions while also not endangering any children... crack on, I hope you have a 'forgettable' Christmas.

So, by your own admission, you need a drink to have a good time... but HE'S the problem!? Hmm... OK then.

Agree with the PP who said, the only people who'd be irritated by those not drinking are the ones with a drink problem themselves. Maybe you should put your energy into worrying about that!?

Oh and, PS, maybe tell this person exactly how you feel. I'd rather know before going to a party that my presence was merely being 'tolerated'.

I love a drink but wouldn’t care, as long as he didn’t go on about how wonderful he is for not drinking. Someone in my work used to go on about it, no one cared!

To be honest, I've not read the thread. Yabu.
And it it's not a reverse (or a troll) then you are a weirdo.
We hardly touch alcohol at Xmas, I prefer full sugar coke.

@Thepeopleversuswork
Again, I agree with you. I also find it shocking that some people on this thread are trying to excuse the OP and her Dh and some have even suggested they tell the poor guy that he's not welcome. He's the Dh's child too, they can't exclude him when he said he wants to be there!

One of the best things about quitting drinking for me was managing to slim down my friends list to just the actual friends rather than the shallow pissheads

I am assuming that your own children won’t be drinking alcohol either, so you intend to get “ shit-faced” in front of them too?
Nice😳

He's fuming cuz his son's coming?

Correction, a sober cunt who never has hangovers, still manages Xmas games and will go for a run on Xmas day.

<<looks forward to the icy glasses of coke I will drink>>.

@BestintheWest

Before even reading any of your other replies on this thread, people have attacked you and jumped in with their own horrible version of events. Fuck you Mumsnetters. You’re all c*ts.

Have you actually read the thread? Here's the TLDR version:

The OP is pissed off because her husband's son wants to spend some of Christmas with his dad. She wanted to get legless with her husband (while looking after much younger children). The stepson has asked for some non-alcoholic lager in order to join them without drinking and she's refusing the pay for this: she's taken his desire not to get plastered as a sleight. The husband (the guy's biological dad) is "fuming" at the expectation that he will spend some time with his biological son at Christmas.

I've read this thread from start to finish. I don't normally pile in on people and I normally try to see both sides of every story. I don't throw insults around lightly but I don't think we're the cunts here. The cunts are the ones who are rejecting this young man because he's standing in the way of their new family and their desire for a piss-up.

Christ, you are the rudest person in this thread.

And how would you feel if you had a step son that’s usually a nightmare anyway. Turns up at your version of Christmas wasted because he lives a drink and you don’t? Totally lower the tone for you wouldn’t it?

Well if they can enjoy themselves without a drink can't see the problem if their Gona join in and play games etc some people can still enjoy themselves without drink but if they were Gona come and not join in and sit sour faced that would be a problem cos it would waste the atmosphere

This post is very strange...hard to believe someone could feel this way but admire the young man enormously for not being persuaded into drinking when he does not wish to. Good for him!! What a sensible young man your husband has raised! And what a good example he is to his younger siblings too!

I would also be grateful to him, that way if an issue arises with your young children, at least someone sober will be able to look after them.

I find it annoying when I go to a NYE party and I am the only one drinking. But if there is a group if people and one isn't drinking but is fine with other drinking, totally fine.

Surely you son doesn’t need an invite? I’d hope my kids know they’re always welcome.

In both examples, the person who drinks too much and ends up behaving like a wanker is the problem. HTH.

If you get shitfaced when in charge of primary school aged kids then you either have a problem or you are the problem. Grow the fuck up.

100% this! 🙌🙌

Okay but what's the relevance to this thread?

So "drinking" is the event, rather than socialising?

Fyi, people can relax and have fun without alcohol. It's a worry you don't account for this in your op.