Page 19 | Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

wakinginthenight · 2025-12-15T09:28:08+00:00

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves. We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking. He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion. I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching. I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

Original poster

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

Starlight1984 · 15/12/2025 11:43

But when you are saying things like "we don't want him there because he will remember everything" then it is pretty clear that your behaviour is a bit odd and unacceptable.

Me and DH love a drink - especially at Christmas. But even if we have a champagne / Bucks Fizz at breakfast, a few wines throughout dinner / the afternoon and then port or Baileys after dinner, we're not going to be shitfaced or doing anything embarrassing (apart from me probably falling asleep on the sofa).

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I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

OP posts:

Cottagegardendiary · 15/12/2025 12:03

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

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Lol..... backtracking

BunnyLake · 15/12/2025 12:04

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

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That first paragraph sounds so wholesome compared to your OP. Now it’s turned into Christmas at The Waltons 😏

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/12/2025 12:05

OP you probably should have said about the judginess and that he is the only person invited as that probably would have changed a lot of answers

Original poster

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:05

Vartden · 15/12/2025 12:01

I thing for many of us the focus of Christmas day with children is probably things like, worrying about if all the presents are bought and wrapped, whether we have enough potatoes , who is collecting granny etc etc. Well down the list will be wanting to get so drunk that someone will disprove and how to uninvite them!

If you leave all that to Christmas Day then I understand your worry.

OP posts:

Starlight1984 · 15/12/2025 12:06

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

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😂Bit different to

I am entitled to get shitfaced at Christmas in my house if I want to and not want someone sat in the corner disapproving.

HelpMeGetThrough · 15/12/2025 12:06

If it’s your DHs son and he starts being a knob, your DH can tell him to fuck off home, or wind his neck in. He’s a big boy at 25 and can take it.

takealettermsjones · 15/12/2025 12:06

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

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Do you have an example of something that's been said that he's been offended by/taken out of context?

TheTaupeScroller · 15/12/2025 12:07

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 11:42

Why should we have our drink on another day?
We bought it for Christmas, we didn’t know he was going to come.

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what a wonderful day for your young children, no wonder some people hate Christmas once adults.

housethatbuiltme · 15/12/2025 12:10

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 11:13

People do have a drink occasionally when they have children. (In real life)

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You keep back peddling and trying to minimize what you have said.

'having a good amount to drink' and 'wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything' and 'I am entitled to get shitfaced at Christmas in my house if I want to'.

That is literally a crime while in charge of children, having you DSS their sober might be the thing that stops police or SS taking your kids if anything happens.

You have really embarrassed yourself on this thread... instead of 'being judged' for being a drunken parent by just one person you have now opened yourself up to the judgement of hundreds who are shocked and telling you its not 'normal' like you seem to think. When EVERYONE is saying the same thing (pretty rare on MN) then you really should reflect on it.

PurpleThistle7 · 15/12/2025 12:10

This gets stranger by the minute.

Mulledjuice · 15/12/2025 12:11

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 09:31

I can have the opinion that I’d rather not have someone in my home sitting there as a spectator.
I’m entitled to feel uncomfortable about their presence in those circumstances.

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Why do you assume he will be a spectator? Are you only "fun" when you have had a drink?

BunnyLake · 15/12/2025 12:13

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/12/2025 12:05

OP you probably should have said about the judginess and that he is the only person invited as that probably would have changed a lot of answers

Op said we all plan on drinking and he’ll be the only one not. Strange to use the word all when just talking about yourself and spouse.

ThatOpenTraybake · 15/12/2025 12:15

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

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We can all see what you said.

And your frantic back-peddaling and rewriting the narrative trying to make you look like a victim of an asshole step-DC.

We all know.

BunnyLake · 15/12/2025 12:16

Sounds to me like he has the measure of you and you don’t like it one bit.

ItsAHare · 15/12/2025 12:16

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:02

I’ve already said he gets offended very easily so you always have to be careful what you say around him and we don’t want to have to be careful, we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks, I never said we wanted to get completely drunk and become alcoholics.

When I said he’ll remember everything I meant next day cross examination about anything said that he might have taken out of context but actually after reading the replies to this thread I think he’s a lot less judgmental and much more laid back than I gave him credit for in comparison to most so ill enjoy some wine and be grateful for the family I got.

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We’ve gone from: ”I am entitled to get shitfaced at Christmas in my house if I want to and not want someone sat in the corner disapproving”, to: ”we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks”.

Hilarious. It’s like you think people can’t filter to your posts and see exactly what you’ve said, and just how much your story has changed.

Original poster

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:17

Nanny0gg · 15/12/2025 11:50

I wouldn't want to go if I was him

Drunks are lousy company and you're not very good hosts

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We don’t want to host, we are staying home this year and just having a few drinks ourselves.
We made our plans and then he told us he was coming, now we’re not very good hosts?

OP posts:

Starlight1984 · 15/12/2025 12:18

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:17

We don’t want to host, we are staying home this year and just having a few drinks ourselves.
We made our plans and then he told us he was coming, now we’re not very good hosts?

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He's your husband's son. He is immediate family. Same as your own children (to your husband at least).

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/12/2025 12:18

Someone not drinking wouldn't bother me in the slightest, @wakinginthenight - dh doesn’t drink, so I am used to it.

But being a mardy arse and not joining in with the conversation/fun is just rude. Dh is a good guest and pleasant to have around, so I don’t think anyone would object to his not drinking.

Original poster

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:19

ItsAHare · 15/12/2025 12:16

We’ve gone from: ”I am entitled to get shitfaced at Christmas in my house if I want to and not want someone sat in the corner disapproving”, to: ”we just want to have a nice chilled day a few drinks, some music and play games with the kids without worrying about what he thinks”.

Hilarious. It’s like you think people can’t filter to your posts and see exactly what you’ve said, and just how much your story has changed.

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I was quoting a poster who said shit faced and making a point that I should be able to in my own home.

OP posts:

BunnyLake · 15/12/2025 12:20

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 12:19

I was quoting a poster who said shit faced and making a point that I should be able to in my own home.

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Not when you have kids there you can’t.

ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers · 15/12/2025 12:21

I really feel that you are the issue. Sorry OP. You're obviously worried, regardless of what you say, about your own drink levels. Otherwise someone else choosing not to drink should not upset you at all.

BunnyLake · 15/12/2025 12:22

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/12/2025 12:18

Someone not drinking wouldn't bother me in the slightest, @wakinginthenight - dh doesn’t drink, so I am used to it.

But being a mardy arse and not joining in with the conversation/fun is just rude. Dh is a good guest and pleasant to have around, so I don’t think anyone would object to his not drinking.

I think we may have an unreliable narrator so I wouldn’t put too much store on what OP says. Blink and the narration has changed direction.

Shittyyear2025 · 15/12/2025 12:22

currentlybrunette · 15/12/2025 09:30

Is your behaviour so bad that you’re worried about a sober person sitting there and remembering?

This.

I don't drink (much) and due to Geography I usually drive to nights out.

If you're worried that the sober person will remember more than the drunk people - and you're worried about what they remember - this says more about you and your drinking than it does about yours.

Sober people can have as much fun as sober people, with the boys of being cheaper, no cab fares to pay, and no hangover the next day (or days, if my colleagues are anything to go by. No thanks)

BestintheWest · 15/12/2025 12:23

It’s a tough one and I can see where you’re coming from OP. It depends on what they’re like sober. You mentioned they normally are a drinker. What are they like when not drinking. Do they come across as judgmental or miserable? If they are judgmental by nature then I can see why you’d be worried about them dragging down the tone of the party. And I can see why you’d be more cautious to fully let your hair down and not worry about the consequences. But plenty of people don’t drink and are fun, and can enjoy the party.

With you saying they normally drink and just chose not to for this one event, I think I’d be the same as you.

I had a gathering recently and put on loads of nice food knowing that the guests would enjoy it, but three people attending weren’t eating or drinking anything as they’re all on weight loss jabs (I didn’t know that until they were there). It lowered the tone of the event. And they seemed miserable.

And to those accusing you of having an alcohol problem for wanting to get drunk at Christmas… have a word. Seriously.