Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

I find my mother absolutely mortifying when she's drinking. After the first two glasses of wine (which she gulps down like she's just spent three days in the desert without water) she becomes obnoxious and nasty and it's just downhill from there. Hate hate hate. The funny thing is, her own mother was the same, and I spent much of my childhood listening to my mother complain about my grandmother's drinking.

This is why I'm teetotal.

He’d rather he didn’t come but he’s invited himself now so he won’t say anything but he’s not happy about it either because it does change the dynamics because he’s there

Wait... so your DH would rather get "shit faced" than have his own son with him at Christmas?

Wow

So if you really don’t like drinking in front of non drinkers, and you definitely don’t have a problem with alcohol, don’t drink.

If it’s really so off putting for you, you can easily avoid it. No big deal surely?

Good god-how drunk do you intend to get??

I didn’t say there was a load of people I said it’s just family.
It will be Dh and I and our small children who will be drinking soft drinks because they are primary school age. However they will not be disapproving if Dh and I should have a few drinks and get ever so slightly tipsy.
I never once said we have a load of people coming, I said he is coming over.

I can’t stand people like you. So what if they don’t want to drink, you know this reaction speaks volumes about you, and possible that you’re embraced about how you act and drink.

as someone who has IBS I opt for no alcohol too as I’d be in pain and having to use the loo for badly for 2-3 days. People have there reason for not drinking!!! Get some help love

is this you and your husband, OP?

Ehh so whose watching your kids if both of you are planning to get blind drunk?!

Getting tipsy around your primary school children is disgusting, and I now prefer to believe you're ragebaiting rather than thinking that's OK.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more ridiculous question posted than this one. Get over yourself - it is possible to enjoy yourself without having a drink.

I don't drink, I think I am great craic still! Most people don't ever notice I'm not drinking.

BUT I don't sit there and judge anyone that is drinking. If their drinking gets to a point that I am uncomfortable, I leave.

Is he really that judgy? My relative likes to comment on everything I eat 'oh ice cream after that big dinner, you enjoy that' 'going back to the selction box again?' 'having some of those fancy xyz with tea, god you're loving your food right now. That pisses me off no end!!!! If he is like that with people consuming a normal amount of alcohol I'd be annoyed too.

They might not openly disapprove now because they're too young, but they'll look back and they'll remember how you behaved. Might be worth bearing that in mind.

The only thing that would irritate me is him "putting in a request" for alcohol free beer (or indeed anything). He can bring it himself, same as anyone else who is a guest and wants to drink something specific.

Only people I know who get uptight about other people not drinking are either alcoholics or the partners of alcoholics who don’t want the amount they are putting away thrown into sharp relief by someone who doesn’t drink.

A few of my friends don't drink. Mostly due to health reasons, alcoholic parents, demanding jobs or their own issues with alcohol. The only people who resent them for it are the ones who drink too much. They can't control it, so they don't want others to be able to. You are like those people who hate their friends getting thin.

You want to exclude your husbands son so you can get extremely drunk on the one evening he is there over Christmas?
He won't even be the only one there not drinking if there are kids in the house.
As a kid, I would have felt really relieved to have a sober adult around when my mother was knocking back whisky like it was water.

What kind of mother are you if you have young children in the house and you don't want there to be a responsible adult there in case something happens while you are too drunk to care for them?

Aren't the other 364 days in the year enough for you and why do your children have to endure that?

The fact you are making such a big deal out of one evening when a non drinker will be in the house and you feel you have to drink less because there is an adult witness means you do have a drink problem.

Normal adults plan to have a few drinks to relax, not a barrelful to get shitfaced.
They might then end up drinking a bit more than they intended, but they don't set out to get shitfaced the way you obviously mean to.

You're being so harsh.

People decide to stop or pause drinking for a variety of reasons and they may not want to share them.

Could be health related, could be concerns over drinking too much, could be trying to lose weight or on a fitness kick and prefer to spend the calories on food.

Either way, you are judging them out of fear they will judge people getting drunk while they stay sober. Which they are unlikely to do if they are normally a drinker.

So ‘we all intend to have a good amount to drink’ is just you and your husband?

If he’s disapproving and judgy, it’s because you are bad drunks OP.

I can't normally be bothered to pick posts apart but you twice said "We are all.." referring to people present who aren't DSS and clearly also don't mean young children so implying more (drinking) adults than just you and DH

OP, the only person who will be putting a mockers on your Christmas festivities will be you. It’s perfectly possible to have a great time while remaining sober while others are drinking: please don’t make a song and dance about it

I hate that socialising=alcohol. I went to a school reunion and drank pints of water all night. Luckily I have a personality that doesn't need booze to come alive. Was the first up dancing etc.

"A spectator" lol.

You're making enough of a fool of yourself here, so I can't imagine what you're like after a drink.

We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink

So who is the 'all' in this sentence OP?

Also, having a 'good amount' of drink should make you more than 'ever so slightly tipsy', especially as you drink so seldom.

Probably best to have a sober adult there what with the kids and all.

You said "We all intend to have a good amount of drink.... There is one person who'll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he's not drinking. I'm a bit miffed that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching."

To me, "all" points to more than 2 people who will be drinking. Otherwise, you'd just say "DH and I" or "both of us" will be drinking. I know that you since updated it but gave the incorrect impression on your first post, that it was some kind of gathering/larger party.

A spectator?!

Jesus fucking christ.