Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

Just literally go with the flow, he may have reason's he does not wish to disclose. I think in this day and age, we should be past trying to justify why we are not drinking. And you need to be a bit more reasonable because if not you'll get phased out in the non drinking shuffle

This is absolutely ridiculous, I no longer drink alcohol as I just can’t be bothered any more, it’s no one’s business except mine. And I’m still perfectly capable of enjoying myself and joining in everything!

There are two issues here OP. Firstly it sounds like you don't particularly like this person, so why are they coming?

Secondly if you are worried about being judged for your drinking, you have a problem with your drinking. It sounds like you are planning on getting drunk enough to black out, which requires ALOT of alcohol. Just because you don't drink every day doesn't mean you don't have a drinking problem. Occasional binge drinking is also an issue

Why have you changed the story to 'only 3 of you?'

Either way, you have a very unhealthy attitude towards alcohol no matter how seldom you drink it.

Op why honestly does it bother you? I’ll be working long hours until Christmas Day and so I won’t drink as when exhausted I know I’ll be drunk and messy pretty quickly and it’s not worth it. If dh made it a thing I’d find it funny!

This is the weirdest post. You are planning to get out of your head drunk, in advance, and don't want a sober person there observing and 'remembering'. And you are defensive about this when probed. What on earth do you and your husband do when you're drunk that is so mortifying?

And from what I can gather, there's only three of you there - you, your husband and his brother. "I get that but that’s not the case here, he is not one person not drinking in a crowd, Dh and I are having Christmas at home this year and planned to have a few drinks together, he is the only person coming.
It would be very different if there would be more guests."

So you and your husband were planning to get drunk together on your own, and his brother is coming... Can you not simply do your home drinking session on another evening, if you really don't want him there? Do your embarrassing whatever it is you do that you don't want him judging on Christmas Eve, or Boxing Day night?

Mostly I am wildly curious as to what you do that you don't want him to see. My sister doesn't drink, me and my husband do, sometimes when she stays over here we'll get through a bottle of wine each plus spirits - nothing bad happens. Sometimes none of us drink and we sit drinking tea and playing backgammon tournaments. You say you don't have a drink problem, but it sounds kinda like you do.

I really love a drink a bit too much at times but it absolutely would not and does not bother me if/when others don't. I can't see how it would?

And has also changed the story from making out first it was some kind of gathering where everyone will "all be drinking" except one person.

Then later on posting that there will only be, in fact, her and her husband there who are drinking, plus the "guest" who she doesn't want to stay sober.

have only read OP:

tell them to stay home and not come to a house where people are planning to act in obnoxious drunk ways. They will have way more fun.

You sound very very weird.

Yes he’s Dh son.
He is regularly here and nobody drinks and it’s fine but this particular Christmas we have bought drink as we particularly wanted to have a drinks this year before he said he was coming to us.

Now he’s coming and not drinking I do feel a bit like it’s thrown a spanner in our plans as he will be judgy if we get tipsy, nobody has a drink problem I just don’t like drinking in front of him and he will just be sitting there quietly looking at his phone looking mortified at us drinking.

Christmas day my son will be drinking achohol free beers because he will be driving home so we get him some in his driving license is more important and I'm not a big drinker will probably have a prosecco with dinner and a baileys when they have all gone home doesn't mean we will sit there not enjoying ourselves, my partner and oldest son will be having a few drinks

Why is your intro implying that you have a group of people coming and then it's just the two of you plus one person (albeit family). Yes getting really drunk just the two of you with one spectator (even though he sounds like a drain) is weird #ragebait

You have a problematic relationship with both this person and alcohol. If you don’t want them there in general then put your big girl pants on and tell them. Otherwise either carry on with getting shitfaced and ignore them, or rein in your drinking until they’ve gone. It’s as simple as that.

Ok. I mean I'd find it hard to tell someone "I don't want your son around here."

I think it will be fine. We had a non drinking guest last year (he was working Christmas day night) and it was totally fine, didn't make a difference to anyone else!

I suspect Your one of those people that when they do drink they go hard. Very hard. You may not think thats an issue but it is. I don’t drink, if that means i then wasn’t invited to your gathering then I would be grateful.

Ragebait?

I don't drink. My grown up kid doesn't drink. Why would anyone else be concerned about this. It is possible to gave a great time without drinking. Look at yourself. You are the problem.

That’s because middle aged people getting pissed is totally embarrassing. I used to cringe when I was young at such people and then when I realised I had become one, I quit!

You want to tell your DHs son to spend Christmas alone…because you can’t bear the thought of not getting blind drunk? Jesus.

'that’s not the case here'

But OP your posts are written EXACTLY as someone who has alcohol issues (and I grew up around alcohol issues, I know the signs like the back of my hand) therefore 'past trauma around drinking like people from alocoholic families' sounds very much the case here and you can't be the one to claim it isn't as you wouldn't be the victim of your behaviors.

Poor son, I feel sorry for him!

FFS get a grip. Plenty of people enjoy themselves without drinking

Wtf. You want to get shitfaced with your step son. Woah - this is just fucking weird.