Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

[wakinginthenight]

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

What is with this total obsession with drinking? And more to the point: being angry/annoyed that other people do not have the same dependency on alcohol when it comes to socialising and having a good time?

Your issues with alcohol are yours to solve OP. Don’t make it somebody else’s problem.

I like a drink but I have been known on many occasions to just have soft drinks on nights out etc. just because in that moment I haven’t fancied having alcohol-should my friends have disinvited me too?

And believe me when I say that drunk people are nowhere near as exciting or fascinating as you seem to think, so I wouldn’t worry about your friend “observing” you.

At least if one of the children needs medical attention then there’s somebody sober to take over

Normal reaction from a parent or a step parent over a son who choses not to drink alcohol would be pride. The OP is afraid she will be judged. About the non-alcoholic beer-this is cheaper than normal beer. If he wojld have been drinking you would have spent more money so that excuse doesen't wash either. OP is planning to get shit faced and is afraid of being judged. This is screaming alcohol problem.

OP I stopped drinking this year as I had a habit of binge drinking. I didn't drink every day or even every week, but when I drank I would tend to get pretty drunk. Now I have stopped my primary aged kids have admitted how much they hated it when I got drunk. You might not think they are 'judging' but they are definitely noticing and it isn't nice for them. You and your DH making an active choice to 'get tipsy' is honestly indicative of a problem and his son has every right to judge that. He is probably sitting on his phone because he is finding it hard to watch his dad getting drunk

So you don't mind your little children seeing you shitfaced, because they won't judge you!?

why should this bother you?

Yes he’s Dh son.

Aaaaah. That makes sense now.

Sound like you have a drinking problem.

I’m wondering if one of OPs children has begged her DSS to be there sober because she is so intolerable drunk and they are unhappy with it.

Although she now seems to have moved from getting so drunk she can’t remember things, to just having a few drinks. Either way, she sounds horribly controlling.

In your OP:
we all intend to have a good amount of drink
Ah, so “we all” was just you and your DH, and you plan to have a “good amount to drink” while responsible for your primary age children. Gotcha. You’re not helping your case here, are you?

I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching
Maybe he’ll be sitting there watching your children. I imagine most people would be disapproving of parents who both (or “all” as you bizarrely chose to phrase it) decide to get so drunk they can’t remember what happened the next day, when they have young children to care for. What wonderful festive memories your children will have.

I agree it would be annoying! My brother in law is life and soul when he has a drink,if he doesnt he makes comments like "did you not already have a drink" and "youre having too many" etc...also wants to bring it up the n3zt day etc.

Could you move your relaxing day to.boxing day?

You can have a good time without getting drunk.
Its awful that so many people dont know this and pretty disgusting that the need to be drunk means you would not invite a guest.

It doesnt mean they will be a spectator and not join in just because they arent drinking does it? They can still take part in games and dancing and everything.

This post is just one drip feed after another. 🥱

I think we are all concentrating on the wrong thing . The real issue is ' I want my small family to be happily together, BUT I DON'T WANT MY STEPSON THERE'. and I need to find a reason to get rid of him. That's what is screaming at me as the reason here.

Nothing wrong with a few drinks at Christmas. Also nothing wrong with not drinking. You seem to be saying people who don’t aren’t any fun, which seems a bit unfair. Not sure why a big deal is being made of it - just have a few soft drinks, AF drinks etc in as well as wine, etc, and just have a good time.

So you have small children but are both planning on getting "slightly tipsy"?

What happens if one of the children becomes poorly during the night or there is some other type of emergency?

That’s why I don’t want him there because I was looking forward to Christmas on our own this year and we planned on drinking so I am annoyed he has suddenly said he is going to be coming.
The only reason it matters if he drinks or not is because he doesn’t care if we are having a drink when he is but when he’s not suddenly he becomes judgy and awkward tha we are.

Exactly. That's my main worry as a solo parent, having had alcohol and being unable to drive my DC to hospital if they needed it (and having to wait 8 hours for an ambulance). I just couldn't do it.

Miffed because someone will be drinking alcohol free beer? Are you a very boring person when not drunk?

Very odd.

People do have a drink occasionally when they have children. (In real life)

@wakinginthenight Tell him he can't come or has to leave after dinner. That'll solve it.
Not why people are adding small children in for no reason.

Your poor children. Seeing out of control drunk parents is very scary.

From he's a friend
To DHs family
To his son?
🤣
I don't blame you for not wanting a disapproving step son there haha
Maybe just don't drink?

You lost me there. Are you for real? Now we understand why he's disapproving.

One person not drinking doesn't bother me, fun people can have just as much fun (and be as entertaining) as people drinking.

Expecting everyone not only to drink, but to drink to the point of "not remembering" anything is beyond weird.

And you have young kids in the house. So I understand why you need to drink, why every adult around you need to drink to find you bearable, and why the son is disapproving.

Poor kids.