We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

bagpuss90 · 2025-12-13T18:07:23+00:00

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

Nearly50omg · 13/12/2025 18:09

Why are you with him? Life living with a man who makes you walk on eggshells all the time isn’t living it’s utterly misery! It’s a form of domestic abuse too. Tell him to stop being a miserable arsehole or he can leave and find somewhere else to live

ShawnaMacallister · 13/12/2025 18:10

The fallout?
Are you scared of him? Is he emotionally abusive? Could you leave?

Pancakeflipper · 13/12/2025 18:11

Do you live together? I'd just go if you don't. More complicated if you live together cos' ot needs to be 'discussed' at some point but leaving is still an option..

I'd wake him up and ask if he wants to stay and have fun or go home now.

Either way I'd be thinking seriously about dating Mr Misery.

Gymnopedie · 13/12/2025 18:13

Go home. Whatever the fallout it doesn't sound like you have much to lose. And it might bring things to a head, whichever way that ends up looking like.

Does he make a habit of spoiling things you're looking forward to, or when the attention might be on you, eg your birthday? (And by contrast is he perfectly capable of being cheerful when he's out with friends?)

It does sound like he's checked out of the relationship. Either that or he's seriously depressed.

Tomatocutwithazigzagedge · 13/12/2025 18:13

Don't feel awkward to go out and eat alone. There's nothing wrong with treating yourself to a nice meal.

Take the evening to think about what you want in life, it certainty can't be one living on eggshells for the remainder, can it?

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:14

ShawnaMacallister · 13/12/2025 18:10

The fallout?
Are you scared of him? Is he emotionally abusive? Could you leave?

No I’m not scared of him but it would just be less drama to stay

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TFImBackIn · 13/12/2025 18:14

What's your home situation like? Do you have children together? I'm glad he's your partner and not your husband.

If you don't live together, I'd pack up my stuff and go.

If you do live together, I'd do the same, tbh!

PurpleCoo · 13/12/2025 18:15

This sounds like a really horrible situation to be in. Is he depressed or experiencing mental health difficulties? Can he be encouraged to go and get support?

In the meantime, I would be inclined to carry on and do what you want to do. But invite him. E.g. I'm going to go and check out such and such a place, you are welcome to join me" instead of "shall we do x, y. Z" where he is saying no, then you don't do anything either.

Just go out for dinner on your own, don't let him stop you going out and having fun. I travel all the time on my own and often eat out in places. It's not at all awkward and a completely normal thing to do. Loads of women travel the world on their own. I have been Canada, Europe, Asia on my own, and no one bats an eyelid.

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:16

Gymnopedie · 13/12/2025 18:13

Go home. Whatever the fallout it doesn't sound like you have much to lose. And it might bring things to a head, whichever way that ends up looking like.

Does he make a habit of spoiling things you're looking forward to, or when the attention might be on you, eg your birthday? (And by contrast is he perfectly capable of being cheerful when he's out with friends?)

It does sound like he's checked out of the relationship. Either that or he's seriously depressed.

We don’t really have any friends. I have lots but we have no friends day really as a couple .

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Tighteningmybelt · 13/12/2025 18:16

What’s his reason for saying no?

THisbackwithavengeance · 13/12/2025 18:16

He’s telling you very loud and clear that he doesn’t want to be there, isn’t he?

When you asked him why he’s being such a miserable twat and ruining the weekend, what did he say?

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:17

Tighteningmybelt · 13/12/2025 18:16

What’s his reason for saying no?

He doesn’t fancy this or fancy that

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ChristmasinBrighton · 13/12/2025 18:17

He sounds like a horrible overbearing bully.

You don’t have to live like this. 💐

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:17

Pancakeflipper · 13/12/2025 18:11

Do you live together? I'd just go if you don't. More complicated if you live together cos' ot needs to be 'discussed' at some point but leaving is still an option..

I'd wake him up and ask if he wants to stay and have fun or go home now.

Either way I'd be thinking seriously about dating Mr Misery.

We don’t live together

OP posts:

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:19

PurpleCoo · 13/12/2025 18:15

This sounds like a really horrible situation to be in. Is he depressed or experiencing mental health difficulties? Can he be encouraged to go and get support?

In the meantime, I would be inclined to carry on and do what you want to do. But invite him. E.g. I'm going to go and check out such and such a place, you are welcome to join me" instead of "shall we do x, y. Z" where he is saying no, then you don't do anything either.

Just go out for dinner on your own, don't let him stop you going out and having fun. I travel all the time on my own and often eat out in places. It's not at all awkward and a completely normal thing to do. Loads of women travel the world on their own. I have been Canada, Europe, Asia on my own, and no one bats an eyelid.

No mental health issues

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ginasevern · 13/12/2025 18:19

So is he always like this, has it been creeping up or is it just this weekend? How long have you been together, has anything changed? I think more context is needed OP.

Leopardsandcheetahsarefast · 13/12/2025 18:19

THisbackwithavengeance · 13/12/2025 18:16

He’s telling you very loud and clear that he doesn’t want to be there, isn’t he?

When you asked him why he’s being such a miserable twat and ruining the weekend, what did he say?

Because I’d say this and either

wait for him to storm off and enjoy mysrlf
book another room
drive or call an Uber

I would not put up with it and tell him why not

HoppityBun · 13/12/2025 18:19

I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own.

Take a book, find some that looks welcoming and enjoy your meal. The only reason you’d feel awkward is because you’re not used to it, simple as that. Get used to it, because it sounds to me that your life would be much more rewarding and restful without this pain in the backside.

if you need any encouragement to eat on your own, then listen to Bill Nighy’s podcasts: he never eats at home and always eats out, much preferring to be on his own.

Jeschara · 13/12/2025 18:20

Tell him to shape up or ship out, then have a lovely time doing things you want to do.
I get the impression he is delibratl6 doing thos to you, so you say, right I am going home. Don't give him the satisfaction.

ChristmasinBrighton · 13/12/2025 18:24

Can you just pack up and leave?

Puzzlemethis · 13/12/2025 18:28

If he wants to sleep and spend it moping, let him crack on. Don't let that stop you having a nice time. Second other posters saying no one bats an eyelid to a woman going places alone. I actually quite enjoy a meal and a good book solo.
If he's going to moan about you going, put it back to him as to what he suggests you do. If he's not putting out any suggestions then its fine to say you'll carry on as you were. And don't be frightened of calling out the arsey behaviour and if he actually wants to be there.
What's the worst that happens? He sulks - no change. He goes home? Well, you've been thinking about it anyway. It can't be any worse than spending your entire weekend walking on eggshells and wishing your time away.

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:28

ginasevern · 13/12/2025 18:19

So is he always like this, has it been creeping up or is it just this weekend? How long have you been together, has anything changed? I think more context is needed OP.

We’ve been together for 8 years . No he has no way always been like this. It’s crept up really, I guess. He has no friends- no desire to make any . He’s so unsociable it’s almost embarrassing

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Lamentingalways · 13/12/2025 18:30

Just break up with him OP. He sounds just like mine and it’s draining, if we weren’t so enmeshed I would 100% get rid of him (and will do eventually)

Original poster

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:32

So - I’ve just booked a table and I’m going out on my own

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ginasevern · 13/12/2025 18:34

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:28

We’ve been together for 8 years . No he has no way always been like this. It’s crept up really, I guess. He has no friends- no desire to make any . He’s so unsociable it’s almost embarrassing

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Well he's not going to improve with age like a fine wine OP, I can guarantee that. So your future will look a lot like this miserable weekend I'm afraid. Maybe time to reconsider your options. Enjoy your solitary meal out, but do ask yourself what's the point of having a so called partner.