We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

[bagpuss90]

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

Well done for going out on your own! Life is too short to sacrifice your joy for someone else’s self inflicted misery.

If there’s a good man under whatever your partner is playing at, then you can potentially salvage the relationship. But you need to do the things you want to do without taking his negativity into consideration. Tell him you would love to do things together but if he won’t enjoy them you’ll just do them alone. Don’t try convince him, just go out , book the things, treat yourself on your birthdays and just because, go on your own or with friends, and invite people round for dinner because it’s your home too.

He will realise that you don’t need him to have fun, and he can’t keep you both miserable. He might then step up and start making an effort to have shared experiences with you. But in the process you might realise that you enjoy those experiences more without him.

It’s a win win for you to just live your life without letting him drag you down (whether that’s by ending the relationship or otherwise).

You will get the mega ‘man baby’ sulking today.. so repulsive.
Dump him OP. You had a much nicer evening on your own and clearly are sociable and able to chat to new people.
Don’t let this misery of a man dull your light and waste any more of your precious life. You won’t regret it!

I’m just wondering why you are with this man? What are you getting from this relationship?

Must say, it's brilliant that you don't live together.
It's a simple case of "bye now" if you please.

Hope you had some sleep, have a nice breakfast on your own, get home and delete his number as an early christmas present to yourself to not have to deal with this shit anymore

He's stopped trying Op, 8 years in he doesn't feel the need to be nice anymore. You had a lovely evening, you could have a lot of them without him.

Just go out and have a nice breakfast somewhere before he gets up. Take your stuff with you.

His initials weren't B.A. by any chance, were they?? He sounds identical to my exH, who also liked to go to Paris.

What right has he to be angry with you? Why go away and spend it in a hotel room?

He sounds awful, what is he bringing to your life?!

That really isn't any way to live.

You don’t live together so presumably you have no financial or other ties.

Give yourself and early Christmas present ans dump him!

God he sounds awful. You sound lovely and fun!

The only reason to go away and spend it in a hotel is if you're planning to be naked all weekend!

Hope you're up and off to do something lovely this morning op...with or without him. And please dump him....don't let him suck the joy out of you

You are best off out of there for sure, but it does sound as if he may be unwell in some way either mentally, physically or both.

Not your responsibility and doesn't mean you have to stay with him a moment longer but you could suggest when you leave that he sees someone as you are concerned.

What he does with that is up to him.

It's so great that you went out and had a nice evening by yourself - well done!

It doesn't sound like you and him are compatible at all. Have a think about whether life would be lighter, freer and more peaceful without him. As others have said, you get one life and there are no medals for martyrdom

I’d have been so tempted to just reply to his “wtf you playing at?” texts with photos of the jazz bar, drinks and your new found friends, no words just pics.

I feel for you, Bagpuss, but wonder if your husband has an illness, maybe is in pain and discomfort a lot of the time but has not yet sought medical advice. He could well be worried about something like that. Just a thought.

If there's a fall-out this morning, I would say 'John, we've come away for the weekend, to explore and do things, not spend it in a hotel room. I'm going out, to XYZ, and then ABC, you are welcome to join me. I am not staying in the hotel all day. It's up to you'. I would, once you're home, take a long look at your relationship. Your partner seems disinterested and quite frankly boring - you get one life, don't waste it with someone who doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere and when you do is grumpy and poorly behaved.

What and this gives him the excuse to ruin a weekend away? Come on.

@bagpuss90 My ex used to do this sort of thing- he would be utterly passive at the planning stage, agree to everything (or in one case, a wedding) insist on coming and making the plans we did, then find an excuse to be absolutely passive-aggressive silent treatment horrible. It would immediately put me onto eggshells and it would get worse after the event, when he’d punish me for whatever. Could be something tiny like my relative said something he didn’t like to him, or he didn’t enjoy his dinner, could be something he refused to name, but it would be my fault and it was destructive and harmful and ruined so many occasions- and the memories of those occasions. please LTB. Life is so much nicer on the other side!

Hope you go out for a lovely breakfast OP. For some reason I thought you might be in Cirencester!

So it’s not just this weekend, you say he’s more and more like this.
And as it’s not the way you want to live, time to end it. You are walking on eggshells round this man, and will have a better life without him

Good. That will make it easy to bin him as soon as you get home.

Wtf is wrong with him?! If DH had a face on I'd ask him what the problem was. If he behaved like yours he'd be in the bin.
Are you frightened to ask him why he's got a face like a slapped arse?

What a vile man. Abusive, of course. This is controlling behaviour. It’s really good that you don’t live together as it makes ending things much easier. I’m glad you went out and had a nice time. Keep acting for yourself and in your own interests.

Life is too short for this bollocks