We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

[bagpuss90]

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

It's good that you don't live together.

Let this be the night you realise you're in control of your own future and you can make it in whatever shape you choose.

You don’t live together so this is simple. Leave him. Life is too short. Good for you going out on your own!

If anyone should go home, it should be him. If he just wants to sit in his room, he can do that at his house.
I definitely like to do more exploring than DH who always enjoys a little quiet time in the hotel. He’s not generally grumpy but he can’t stand being too hot for very long so there’s always a limit to how much sunny city sightseeing he will cheerfully manage. I’m fine doing things on my own but I will not be held hostage in a hotel room when there’s a shiny new city outside. Doing things separately is fine. Sulking is not.
You have made a trip. Make the most of it. Meet his grumpiness with cheerful resistance. Refuse to engage with this petulance and do your own thing. If he isn’t prepared to be a grown-up and talk about what’s bothering him, then refuse to notice that anything is bothering him. Don’t let this man-child drag you down.

Did he drive?
Can you get back home by yourself?

Either go home or tell him to go home.

You’d rather walk around on egg shells than upset him?

Fuck that he’s being a twat and needs to be called out on it.

I would not be going away with him again - what’s the point.

I'd be interested in knowing his age, only because my own DH when he reached his 50s went from social animal to practically a hermit.

Good to read you booked a table and as everyone else says there is nothing wrong eating alone, people watching is fabulous.

If it were me I'd ask him why he came away if he planned on sleeping and not doing anything. Don't have regrets down the line, really think about what you want for your future.

Have a lovely evening tonight, Op. In the morning, pack and go home. Sorry, but the relationship is obviously over. Doesn't sound like you've lost much.

He sounds like an arsehole. Hope you can enjoy your evening tonight. Think about what you want from life. You sound like you are putting much more into this relationship than he is.

He sounds a miserable bastard...and a selfish one at that.

Find someone you can have fun with.

Have a great time at the jazz bar!!!! When you get home, dump him.

What’s stopping you from dumping him, OP?

Fuck him off. Life’s too short to be with a grump. You could be with someone wonderful and having lots of fun!

Thank God you dont live together. I think you can do better, you say you have lots of friends, make the decision to live your best life and leave this miserable git.

Good for you! That was very brave and you’ll have a great time without him bringing you down!

Have a really good evening and dump the miserable fucker when you get home.

His behaviour sounds petulant and grumpy. Is he a homebird generally and doesn't much like going to different places? Not making excuses for the idiot, he could have said that before you booked.

I wouldn't be able to cope with a man child with the grumps. You did the right thing to go out yourself, it is probably amazing him that you would go out without him!

I have to admit that my DP and I enjoy different things (during the day) when away but we know this and it's not a grumpy thing, it's by mutual agreement. If there is something we would both enjoy, we'll do that, otherwise he does his thing and I do mine. Works perfectly since who wants to be with someone who is yawning and bored and can't wait to move on from YOUR thing, and vice versa? It means there's lots to talk about and go over when we go out to lunch and dinner. I'd say there are many couples who would LIKE to each do their own thing, but habit makes it a together thing. Anyway I digress.

If you are not happy that this is a one off, think about forging another life for yourself. The life we do have is very short. Best of luck.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear this in fact I was absolutely gobsmacked to read your words, every single one of your posts I could have written! I have the same problem, a partner, been together eight years, don't live with, absolutely 100% was not like this at the beginning, very slowly crept up getting more and more miserable, (you could say grumpy but it's way beyond that) and it's not a financial thing, and I don't think it's a mental health thing but he won't talk about it and he won't see a doctor or anything so I wouldn't know, and life is like walking on eggshells. You make these plans together, in fact most of it is his input and you go along just to not rock the boat, and then when you go out there, he gets more and more miserable like you were the one dragging him along and he really doesn't want to go, and it doesn't make any sense, and you try your best to be light and easy going and happy and keep the mood good, and sometimes it helps a little bit for the most part it's horrible. And when he's off sulking or in the shower or having a nap and you're sitting there thinking why am I here? Why am I doing this? This is ridiculous. How did I get to this point?

I was so happy to hear that you decided to go out for yourself for the evening to a jazz bar and have something to eat because you know what, my god, I would have done the exact same thing! It's utterly astounding to read your words because if I didn't know better, and I had some kind of dissociative second personality, I would have thought that I was writing these posts myself and just didn't remember it.

I hope you’re having a great night. It can be fun going out on your own.

Life is too damn short.
Keep that mantra in your head, enjoy your jazz, and think seriously if this man builds you up or brings you down.

I’ve had a lovely evening- got chatting to some really lovely interesting people. Got some angry texts from DP asking wtf I was playing at. Back at the hotel now and guess what he’s fast asleep. So glad I went out - thanks again for all your support 🥰

I’m so glad you went out 💐
Maybe time to have a think about how compatible you are and if this is long term, OP. You sound lovely-I promise there’s more to life than this.

Now to run the rest of your life in a lovely way!

Well done. And no matter what he says, live YOUR life the way YOU want to live it, from now on

Oh God, I'm having flashbacks to my marriage to a horribly moody, abusive man. He would be like this - ruining birthday parties, family events, holidays, and most weekends.

I cannot STAND men like this. My late father was just the same. Who on earth do they think they ARE? It's just another way that many men throw their weight around and dominate women.

I'd rather live in a nunnery for a thousand years than put up ever again with a man who doesn't think he needs to be pleasant.

Please dump him. He’s a pathetic loser.

So glad you had a lovely evening, this can be the start of a new chapter for you filled with lots of lovely evenings without this awful man dragging you down.