We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

[bagpuss90]

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

Glad you went out OP.

I hope he's behaving himself this morning. If he has an attitude then I really would just go home now.

Is he missing someone at home? It's odd behaviour to behave like that on a trip you both planned.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, OP. I suspect your P will sulk and strop because you didn't 'keep him company' (while he was asleep) and you dared to break your programming by going out alone. If you can't easily get home (and why should you, you're entitled to enjoy your weekend away!) then have a lovely time today sight seeing and browsing. Even if he insists on coming with you (because he might sense you are slipping away) don't let him. Tell him you'll have a better time on your own.

Then go home later and bin him off and tell him he's too miserable for you.

Sod him! Don't feel awkward, you go out and have a lovely time. Treat yourself to a nice meal and do all the things you want to do, and leave him to rot in the hotel room.

I'm glad you went out and did something nice.

Now do something else good for you: dump him.

I've only read the OP's updates, but - - - is it possible there's another woman? I had this with my now ExH. My works Christmas dinner, he pointedly sat next to other people way over the other side of the table from me, ignored me for all of the evening, went to bed early at the hotel. When I went to bed he was texting on his phone ...
We went out for lunch with a large group of friends - again, pointedly sat away from me, went out to "the loo" for about 15 minutes -
MIL over Christmas and he walked the dog at the same time, was gone for ages. I said one morning we'd join him, his face changed, he disappeared into the park's cafe loo's for 10 minutes (MIL asking if he had an upset stomach, you could feel the waves of anger coming off him).
NYE, out with a large group of friends to see the fireworks in London, as the bells chimed we all hugged each other, he body swerved me and as it quietened down said loudly "I didn't even get a kiss", scowling at me ... Reflecting back afterwards I should have said "Neither Did I"!

When, 6 weeks later, I saw his mobile phone bill with all the calls to the OW, it made sense. At the time I thought I was going a little crazy. Yes, it took me that long to figure it out ....

It's the time of the year when this stuff happens, there'll be more in the next 2 weeks. You're with each other more over Christmas, the OW (occasionally) is someone they work with, etc ....

Brilliant, pleased you had a good evening. My ex used to do this, sulk if he didn't want to do something.

I had an ex bf like this. Started off as a really lovely, kind guy but 3 years in wouldn’t hesitate to give me the silent treatment over the most minor thing. Of course he wouldn’t come out with what was wrong so we could talk it out, he had to spend the whole meal or day being ice cold.
I remember one holiday just sobbing silently in the shower. I should’ve dumped him there and then but my self esteem was so low at that point. Anyway, I finally did it and he was gobsmacked. Promised he’d do better, go to couples counselling etc but it was too late. I met the love of my life soon after and haven’t looked back.

Are you safe this morning @bagpuss90? I hope he's apologised for how he's been, but I suspect he will have doubled down on you being out of order for going out.

Now you've had a tiny taste of how upbeat your social life, and life in general, could be without him, now will you dump him?

Glad you had a great evening OP. Well done you! It was fabulous to read that you don't live with him. You need to let him go - he is emotionally abusive. Who needs that, when it's so easy to free yourself?

That's the same thing OP. Scared of him or scared of how he will react, there's no real difference. You will be okay on your own, and it has to be better than this!

Blimey, what a bore he is. A miserable one at that. What’s he like this morning? When are you supposed to be going home?

So pleased you had a lovely evening. But this relationship sounds miserable. Leave him and have lots of other lovely evenings without him. This doesn’t sound like it will get better.

Seems like he doesn’t fancy you either. You don’t live together and have booked a hotel room but he’s asleep.. assuming not making the most of alone time with a big bed and room service. Get some self respect and leave him to not fancy doing anything alone. This will only get worse and be prepared for you being the one with the problem.

Haha no but they were B.F!

I was living on my nerves with him, he was so volatile. He had a load of family shit going on, so in one sense I kind of got it, but i was nothing but supportive and it was never enough.

It doesn't matter. It. Doesn't. Matter.

Presumably he hasn't lost the power of speech, to tell OP of any issues?

I speak, sadly, as a veteran survivor of several holiday- ruining men. The last took me to Amsterdam for my birthday this year (his idea), then proceeded to ruin it by having a hissy fit at the sight of an International Women's Day March ("but what about us nice guys?" I kid you not), which culminated in him screaming at me in the street when I refused to apologise for some perceived slight and stomping off, coming back 5 minutes later to demand why I hadn't followed him, then stomping off again 😆.

Yes, he had mental health issues that he was working hard to overcome. But it doesn't fucking matter. Nobody has the right to use any kind of illness or disability as an excuse to be fucking horrible to their partner. Nobody.

(I dumped his arse on the spot and went to visit a friend who lives in the area. We still had to endure an uncomfortable journey home together though 😬).

What a woman - it’s what I’d have done too.
You should do more of what makes you happy - it sounds like he takes you for granted. He needs a wake up call - literally!!

I remember so clearly the day I ended things with mine. He cycled through all the emotions.. tears, shouting at me and being nasty (smashed some things in my house), to collapsing on the kitchen floor in tears, begging me not to do this and he was sorry.. blah blah. It was awful. I’m so glad I stayed strong and kicked him out. It’s only now, 20 odd years later I realise how abusive and toxic it all was.

Sounds like he's depressed tbh

It sounds as if he may be autistic if he is always awkward in social situations. From what you say he doesn't want to try venturing into anything unknown or uncertain. His grumpiness is a defence. Without much empathy for the feelings of others it is often the only way autistic people cope when in a corner.

He might be. But he is still an abusive twat.

What’s he like this morning @bagpuss90?
I hope you’ve left.

Can't think why!

Poor you, hope things improved.

I'm glad you had a nice night, @bagpuss90, and you didn't let him ruin it.

But...eight years? Not living together. He has no friends. He's grumpy and snappy and doesn't want to do anything. Then he got angry with you for getting something to eat while he was lying there asleep?

I have to ask is this really the life you want?

Hope you’re safe this morning OP and busy at home changing your locks

I said that to my DH this morning as this thread has played on my mind. I do hope your ok