Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Snotty reply from ‘friend’

160 replies

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:13

If you asked someone what there up to and they replied what do you think I’m uoto at this time.
Would you be annoyed ? That’s a snotty reply in my eyes ?

OP posts:
POTC · 12/12/2025 00:17

Depends, are we talking in general, or right now in the UK so after midnight? If it's the latter, you just woke them up so clearly they're going to be pissed

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:17

POTC · 12/12/2025 00:17

Depends, are we talking in general, or right now in the UK so after midnight? If it's the latter, you just woke them up so clearly they're going to be pissed

It was at 9pm tonight

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 12/12/2025 00:18

If you sent that in the last 20 mins, even the last hour, you'd have got the same reply from me!
It's late, they're in bed trying to sleep!

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:19

Icanflyhigh · 12/12/2025 00:18

If you sent that in the last 20 mins, even the last hour, you'd have got the same reply from me!
It's late, they're in bed trying to sleep!

No I sent it at 9pm

OP posts:
Smiless · 12/12/2025 00:20

9pm...do they have young kids? Sounds like the response a frazzled mama might send while getting kids to bed.

Flibberteegibbet · 12/12/2025 00:22

It depends. Were they just sitting down to watch Masterchef as they watch every episode without fail and hate being interrupted while they are? Is Thursday night quiz night or yoga? Or anything else that you could probably be expected to know they’d be doing at 9pm? I’d probably reply to my best friend the same way if I thought she would know where I am every Thursday at 9!

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:23

Smiless · 12/12/2025 00:20

9pm...do they have young kids? Sounds like the response a frazzled mama might send while getting kids to bed.

No no kids

OP posts:
Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:26

I think its rude. If you are in bed....simply reply the next day. No need for that reply. I'd take it the same way as you OP. You had reached out to send a message.....no need for that reply. I'd be hurt and to be honest probably wouldnt message them again!

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:28

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:26

I think its rude. If you are in bed....simply reply the next day. No need for that reply. I'd take it the same way as you OP. You had reached out to send a message.....no need for that reply. I'd be hurt and to be honest probably wouldnt message them again!

I messaged her at 9pm. That was her reply

OP posts:
Smiless · 12/12/2025 00:29

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:23

No no kids

Then I reckon bestie is definitely doing something they reckon you'd know about. So like a favourite show or a cheeky midweek glass of wine. I would not assume they're being rude, probably just a joke amongst friends.

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:44

I just dont think there was any need for that reply OP. 9pm isnt that late.....even if you are settling down for an early night.....just say so. No need for sarcasm. 9pm is early to me though. I'm a night owl.....

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 12/12/2025 00:45

Maybe they think you're irritating asking the same questions over and over

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:48

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 12/12/2025 00:45

Maybe they think you're irritating asking the same questions over and over

Still no need to be rude to people. An old saying.....if you have nothing nice to say....say nothing!

ScaredOfFlying · 12/12/2025 00:51

what were you trying to achieve by sending the message? It’s a really lazy way to communicate- makes the other person feel obliged to write a coherent response but you haven’t offered a single bit of info about yourself or said what it is you want to talk about. I’d send you a snotty reply too.

ChampagneJen · 12/12/2025 00:53

There’s clearly more to this story, though it’s probably not a page-turner…

CherrieTomaties · 12/12/2025 00:55

Depends on the friendship I think.

Me and my best friend of over 20 years talk to each other like that. We’re really sarcastic with one another and call each other dickhead.

However, if it was to a friend I wasn’t as close with I wouldn’t send something like that.

PollyBell · 12/12/2025 00:55

She could have worded it - ask a stupid question? But she didn't

TippityTappity2 · 12/12/2025 00:59

I’m assuming you know this person well and you’ve read between the lines. I would say that’s not the response I would send to a true, mutual friend, or expect from one. You clearly didn’t expect that reply, so is it out of character for them?

In any relationship, communication is key. Tell them how you feel and ask for clarification surrounding your friendship. Maybe they’re not feeling the same way you are. Even if they’re going through something, you don’t deserve to feel insecure in your friendship.

TippityTappity2 · 12/12/2025 01:01

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:48

Still no need to be rude to people. An old saying.....if you have nothing nice to say....say nothing!

This! Far too many people on this planet are very comfortable with their disrespect. It’s jarring.

QuickPeachPoet · 12/12/2025 01:04

Smiless · 12/12/2025 00:20

9pm...do they have young kids? Sounds like the response a frazzled mama might send while getting kids to bed.

Absolutely shit excuse for being rude.
If she doesn't want to be nice, she can just not reply. OP would have got the message that she doesn't want to talk.
And calling her 'mama' to make it sound cute does not make it any better. Reproducing does not give you a green light to be a twat.

StrawberryJangle · 12/12/2025 01:10

What was your answer?

MsAmerica · 12/12/2025 01:18

Your post is too vague. Maybe you were calling at a time when you should have been expected to know that the person had been sleeping, or was preparing for an exam, or packing for a trip, or recovering from an illness.
You sound very thin-skinned.

Hankunamatata · 12/12/2025 01:41

Id reply 'tap dancing?'

FuzzyWolf · 12/12/2025 01:43

As the saying goes, ask a stupid question…

Topseyt123 · 12/12/2025 01:50

It's a bit of a rude response. If I didn't want to answer or engage with anything at that time I'd probably have just ignored the message until tomorrow.

I must say though, I'd find it a bit odd and irritating if someone just messaged me saying "what are you up to?" at that time, or at any time really. So maybe there's more to this?