Snotty reply from ‘friend’

[TheOpalFox]

If you asked someone what there up to and they replied what do you think I’m uoto at this time.
Would you be annoyed ? That’s a snotty reply in my eyes ?

If her meaning isn't obvious (e.g., she does the same thing at 9PM every night, or every Thursday night, or whatever) then I don't see the point in automatically taking offence. I'd probably have replied "no idea; that's why I asked!"

What DO you think she was up to OP? You know her better than us.

I mean 9pm on Thursday, chances are chilling a bit before bed??? What answer was you expecting? If you wanted to chat I’d have started a conversation not just “what you up to?”

It's a bit of an odd question from a friend. More normal would be "Hi. You busy? I'm bored . Up for a chat?"

Do you always ask the same question? There is a woman in my friendship circle who asks that exact thing, and it is irritating.

I wouldn’t make a fuss if they were clipped or short in other texts then I’d be annoyed but a one off reply I would probably not think too much of it.

@TheOpalFox No. A snooty reply would be "Please use spellcheck."

It’s hard to know if it’s snooty or not because it depends if friend does the same thing at 9pm (9pm on a Thursday) or not. If she does and she feels that you don’t listen then it’s understandable. If it’s something that you’d like to hear about and would never guess in a million years , then it’s a conversation starter and not rude. If she doesn’t want to talk to you because she’s in a bad mood then she should have ignored your message until she felt like talking to you.

But the Op started it by sending a pointless message!
I think it’s rude to interrupt someone’s evening just because you are bored.

The question was rude in the first place. Asking what someone is 'up to' sounds accusatory to me.

I sometimes wonder if many some MNers actually live in the real world! I have friends who would give that response and I've never found it rude or disrespectful. Just chill out.

Having sex? That would be my first thought.

Or trying to sleep.

Well, you seem to be assuming tone.

It could have been said sarcastically. But it also could have been meant playfully - an invitation to guess? Assumption makes a ‘ass out of you and me’ - I’d check her meaning before concluding it was ‘snotty’

I agree. There is too much unkindness and rude people these days when there is no need.

It's also often that the people with that kind of attitude then complains they don't have any have friends. As the saying goes, you reap what you sow.

It depends how you read her question .. she could be warmly saying it tongue in cheek, she could be actually wanting you to guess because she’s doing something amazing or she could be snapping back annoyed because she’s tired or whatever. Either way it’s not something that I’d give attention to unless there’s a history of nastiness

Yes it’s rude. People are increasingly rude. Are they always like this?

To me it's a weird message to send a friend. I wouldn't send something asking what they are up to, unless adding something like are you free to chat?
I can only imagine a young teen sending this kind of thing, in which case the response would not be snooty either.

It's not weird. I often text friends saying "what you're up to" or "how are you? I don't expect an immediate answer, it's a simple way to keep in touch by letting them know I'm thinking of them. Nothing more.

People have busy lives but being rude when a friend is trying to keep the friendship connection alive, is plain discourteous and bad mannered.

Quite. So many just jumping to conclusions based on 6 words on a screen.

Nope, but that's because I find texts at 9pm asking me what I'm up to rather annoying and intrusive.

Personally just sending what are you up to to me feels like poor teenage communication though. If a friend sent me that line alone I would think they were being nosy or wanted to see if they could gatecrash my plans! The tone could be seen as accusatory too and sending lateish at night sounds as if they are questioning what someone is doing. At 9pm most people I know would be watching TV, scrolling through their phone, getting ready for bed or prepping for work the next day.
If a friend wanted to check in then saying that plus a bit more would make sense, 'hey what are you up to? Not heard from you in a while'; 'what are you up to, are you free for a chat'.
Just saying what are you up to feels a bit lazy.

"What are you up to" is a lazy bid to start a conversation and I find it really irritating. Its the sort of question that comes from a bored person scrolling their phone and wanting to be entertained. Her reply batted the ball right back to you. I don't blame her.

Texts can be misleading. Hard to know her tone. Bit if a pointless text. I wouldn’t get upset about it.

9pm? Gosh, you're doing better than me, I'm sometimes done by 9am!
@TheOpalFox your message wasn't exactly interesting, maybe your friend was just returning a similar reply.